Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To be really disappointed with the NCT?

105 replies

3owls · 04/03/2011 16:43

Just wanted to rant a bit about our NCT class. DH and I are first time parents and really just wanted to join a group where we could make friends and get some info on the birth/baby care process.

So we paid our £200 quid to join the NCT as so many people had said its fab.

What we didn't realise that the NCT isn't a "middle of the road or heres-the-info-make-your-own-mind-up" type class...

our leader is very, very holistic in her approach. she's hot on the whole home birth, incense and hypno birthing realm of labour and delivery. which i suppose for some people is exactly what they are looking for.

I, however, have had a very complicated pregnancy and will need a lot of medication/monitoring/medical support during labour and delivery. Thus most of whats being said is completely impractical and not useful.

We tend to leave feeling frustrated and annoyed. I spoke to another Mum in the area today about all this and she was quite surprised. Apparently there was a different teacher a few years ago who did just present facts and let you get on with it. So is this experience just bad luck or do most NCT classes push this agenda?

OP posts:

Ooid · 04/03/2011 16:46

It's bad luck, but you are far from the only person to be disappointed.
Can you talk to the teacher privately and ask her to tailor some of the information to you? It's going to be helpful to anyone having a hospital birth, in the end.
Or ask for a refund?

patiencenotmyvirtue · 04/03/2011 16:49

I found this was the case years ago, too.

There were 5 couples in our group, and not one had a "natural" delivery. The leader's disappointment all too evident.

How we sniggered.:o

ShirtyGerty · 04/03/2011 16:49

I think it really depends on the teacher you get. Our NCT teacher was fabulous - very realistic, down to earth and not at all preach-y. No agenda pushing at all. She also covered a lot of potential complications and the support you might need. It was a great experience and I was sad that the classes finished.

I have heard from friends in other areas though that the teachers are like the one you had - and bent on spreading some pretty odd ideas. Pot-luck unfortunately.

susie100 · 04/03/2011 16:51

Unfortunately this was my experience too, I did it to meet local mothers with babies the same age, I did not learn anything remotely useful (but I did a lot of readin) I think it really depends on the teacher tbh. We barely touched on c sections (which 4 people in my group had!

deepdarkwood · 04/03/2011 16:51

NCT teachers have a surprising amount of flexibility - so some teachers are like this, others aren't, there isn't a core NCT course that everyone covers (I was really surprised to discover this...) It's something they really need to sort out.

BUT all courses should reflect the needs of the group. So I would go to the teacher and explain what you need covered, and ask her to cover it - do it asap though, as if your experiences are quite niche, she'll need to do her homework. She should be doing it anyway, but if she isn't - you're paying £200, and she's there to help you - so be assertive about it

ENormaSnob · 04/03/2011 16:55

Ask for your money back.

Itsjustafleshwound · 04/03/2011 16:59

I must admit that although we did NCT a few years back, it really wasn't worth the money. Personally nothing prepares you for the birthing experience and to be advocating a particular way is not particularly helpful.

I don't think you are alone in your criticism of the NCT

There was a thread on here about KA and her criticism of the NCT

rodformyownback · 04/03/2011 17:04

YANBU. When I went to NCT antenatal classes 3 years ago someone in the group said they wanted a "pain free" birth and was almost shouted down by the leader. The leader worked hard to make everyone in the group afraid of epidurals. I was planning a home birth at the time but was still pissed off at the -agenda-pushing.

Ooid · 04/03/2011 17:05

£200 is a lot, isn't it?
That said, is there anything she's saying which could be converted for using during your delivery? eg hypnobirthing can be fantastic relaxation (well that's what it is, in essence). Can you use any of the positions she gets you to practice?

FlightofFancy · 04/03/2011 17:05

I think you might be unlucky - I think a lot of people find that the class is just a good excuse to meet people in a similar situation.

Hope the other people in your group are nice - you might find that you'll really get to know them better once the babies are born and you're all muddling your way through together!

Perhaps worth finding out what else the NCT does in your area - they should have a web page - and going along to some meet ups. I found I got as much info from chatting to other people at groups than as at the classes!

onlylivinggirl · 04/03/2011 17:09

What do the other couples on your course say? Half way through my course we found out that the couples felt the same way about the teacher (also very one-sided in her views etc) and it did make the whole thing less painful

Petsville · 04/03/2011 17:10

YANBU. Ours was a waste of £200. Caesareans and assisted deliveries were barely touched on, and out of a group of 8 women, I was the only one who needed neither. We joined to meet other first-time parents in the area, and in fact none of them lived anywhere near us, so it was pointless from that point of view too (not that that's the NCT's fault).

Longtalljosie · 04/03/2011 17:10

How many of your lessons have you had?

Don't forget the real bonus of NCT is the mates. What are your fellow-NCTers like?

llareggub · 04/03/2011 17:14

Well, it looks like I was quite lucky in that my local NCT was so short of volunteers they had no one to pick up my messages and as a result I didn't get on a course.
I
It is a volunteer organisation so if you feel strongly about it, why not join, volunteer and change from within? I bet they'd welcome you with open arms. My local branch nearly shut down due to a lack of volunteers.

NCTlackey · 04/03/2011 17:14

Disclaimer - I am an NCT volunteer (nothing to do with the antenatal classes though).

If I were you, I would complain. The NCT classes are supposed to educate you and enable you to make good decisions for you. If she isn't giving the info that you need regarding your difficult pregnancy then she isn't doing her job. This isn't typical of the teacher that I know (socially), by the way. She is very matter-of-fact about birth and is very anti the C-section as failure camp, or any of that nonsense. I get the impression that most teachers realise that birth is a messy process and that with the best will in the world stuff will happen that is not planned. And you will need the facts to deal with that if/when it happens.

You didn't pay £200 to join the NCT, by the way. That was for the classes. Joining up is cheap, and is a good way to meet other Mums and get a semblence of a social life. Plug, plug. :)

tillyfernackerpants · 04/03/2011 17:16

I had a rubbish NCT teacher as well, one with her own agenda of home births etc. I know they can be safer but dh & I were much more comfortable going to hospital!

I would suggest talk to the rest of your group to see if they feel the same, and then perhaps talk to the teacher as well. If she doesn't know how you feel, she can't address it.

Fwiw, the NCT do campaign for more straightforward births and less unnecessary interventions so that's where the teachers are coming from. But teachers should be covering it in the classes as one of the aims is to ensure parents are able to make informed choices and to do so, they need all the information!!

NotSoPukeyMum · 04/03/2011 17:21

What a shame for you!

Our NCT teacher was amazingly supportive and was about educating us to make our own choices, not steering us one way or another.

Are you at least managing to make some friends?

Blu · 04/03/2011 17:25

Our NCT teacher tried to get me to have a word with one other class member and persuade her to have a hmebirth, like me. I didn't of course because I thoght it was not my place or business to do so, and that the woman was I posession of her own mind!

Take what you can from the things about feeding, life with a newborn, and especially go to the tea groups and make friends.

(My DP and best friend who was additional birth partner came with me to classes and were HOPELESS at supporting me in all the 'hold you partner up with her hands round your neck' suggested positions and kept dropping me. When I declared it to be impossible, our teacher paired me with another woman's partner - a policeman and a solid wall of muscle. "There you are - you CAN do it" she declared. As if this man was going to be present at my labour...)

PrincessScrumpy · 04/03/2011 17:26

I ended up doing the NHS course then my birth was nothing like the "average" birth so was really unhelpful - dh and I had a few giggles with the couple next to us (who I'm still really close to), but I'm pg now and my mw is horrified that I won't be attending any classes. Apart from anything - I'm having a c-section and I think they spoke about that for 5 minutes.

Definitely talk to teacher if you've paid - you'll have some kind of control.

clairefromsteps · 04/03/2011 17:27

Boo, that sounds rubbish. Could you ask her to tailor the course so that includes info that's relevant for you too? If she refuses, you should demand a refund as that's not on.

As an aside, I tried to sign up for NCT classes when I was pregnant with my twins, but was told that I couldn't sign up as the classes weren't relevant to me.

Sod you, then.

tillyfernackerpants · 04/03/2011 17:33

claire, when was that? NCT classes include twins and more!

niminypiminy · 04/03/2011 17:37

I did NCT before my first was born, and it was rubbish. The teacher encouraged us all to have a completely unrealistic idea about birth in ways that were actually counterproductive of us feeling ok about our birth experience. She managed to imply that if we had any kind of intervention it would be our fault.

She was completely unrealistic about how easy breastfeeding would be.

The only good bit was the session about what life is like with a small baby was like -- but if you've got friends with one then that is a waste of time.

I didn't find I bonded with the other couples in the group. I thought two of the blokes were complete tools actually, and had fallen out of touch with all except one (who I haven't seen for years either) within a few months.

So, that's: 200 nicker to spend several evenings listening to a wild-eyed fantastist with some people I didn't really like. Bargain!

MarylandCookie · 04/03/2011 17:40

I found the NCT hideous. Just a complete waste of time in terms of information, and very, very rose-tinted in it's approach.

A great campaigning organisation, but I really think their antenatal courses are out of date, badly formatted and miss the point in spectacular fashion.

GraceK · 04/03/2011 18:08

How many classes have you had? Our teacher covered the 'perfect natural' birth at the first class, then we went through all the different other options from ventose all the way through to c-sections; and even still births & post-pregnancy psychosis in the second class.

Admittedly our teacher was pro home & un-medcalised birth as a preference but that's not unsurprising if you've looked into the history & founding precepts of the Trust. History of NCT.

Try talking to your teacher - the antenatal courses are supposed to help every woman with their needs.

kerala · 04/03/2011 18:13

Yes, ours was like that too. The mum who had a straightforward natural birth was invited back to talk about her experience with a new group of pregnant women - misleading for them as a third of us had emergency c sections and another third other interventions we were swept under the carpet!

Also annoying was how late in pregnancy the classes are held. DD was a month early so I missed most of mine. Was quite fun turning up at the final sessions with a new born and freaking out the others in the group

I woudl just see it as a way to make contacts with local mothers for that its good.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread