To be really disappointed with the NCT?

[3owls]

Just wanted to rant a bit about our NCT class. DH and I are first time parents and really just wanted to join a group where we could make friends and get some info on the birth/baby care process.

So we paid our £200 quid to join the NCT as so many people had said its fab.

What we didn't realise that the NCT isn't a "middle of the road or heres-the-info-make-your-own-mind-up" type class...

our leader is very, very holistic in her approach. she's hot on the whole home birth, incense and hypno birthing realm of labour and delivery. which i suppose for some people is exactly what they are looking for.

I, however, have had a very complicated pregnancy and will need a lot of medication/monitoring/medical support during labour and delivery. Thus most of whats being said is completely impractical and not useful.

We tend to leave feeling frustrated and annoyed. I spoke to another Mum in the area today about all this and she was quite surprised. Apparently there was a different teacher a few years ago who did just present facts and let you get on with it. So is this experience just bad luck or do most NCT classes push this agenda?

Maybe try classes at your hospital. I do those and they were great and balanced.

The only thing I would criticise them for was the breatfeeding one, when they made out everyone could breastfeed and it was easy. er not for me. So I ended up feeling even more of a failure.

Sadly I think it depends on the teacher. Our teacher gave us a whole 2 hour class on c-sections and the more scary interventions.

Although I get the impression that the only mums she invited back to talk to the next group were the ones who had the easiest birth . And the breast-feeding class made it all look easy .

I'm still in touch with all my NCT group 4 years on though . (not the teacher though).

Have to admit the only NCT teacher I knew was very firmly of the opinion that anyone who had had a section simply had to be traumatised and if they said they weren't then they were probably too scarred to deal with their own emotions. Nothing I said could convince her that a)I'd had quite a good time b)I wanted the ownership of my own emotions, thank you very much. Lovely woman though, just a tad fanatical on this one subject.

Can't speak of the NCT course though, as I did the NHS one.

that's bad luck, tbh i would say something to the boss, sooner rather than later. our nct teacher was visibly disappointed that none of us was even considering a home birth, but she was lovely and sufficiently ecobonkers to really bond our very normal group. all the birth stuff is in the books, with the nct you are paying for pals, and it is a bargain imo in that i am still in touch with my group and we and the kids (and our second children too) are firm friends.

btw i was never going to have a natural birth, without monitoring etc, but that i felt was my problem, so to speak, and not something to bother about in class. i just glazed over for some of it.

Do you know, it never occured to me for a minute that the NCT classes would help with the birth! I was convinced the leader would be a lentil-knitting nutter - I was only going to meet similar minded people cos I was new to the area.

Two years later and all the NCT gang are proper mates. I'd have lost the plot without them.

Definitely worth every penny of the 200 quid course cost.

My nct class is great. In our first week we were asked what we wanted to cover and she designed the course around our requirements. Im really enjoying the classes and am glad I paid the money to go. You should ask her to include whatever you would like. Thats what you paid all that money for.

Disclaimer: I gave birth in 2000. NCT was TERRIBLE. Made me feel guilty and useless as a parent. If I am lucky enough to get pregnant again, I will go nowhere near them. I was looked down on openly for everything from no home birth plan to no breast feeding (for very good reason) I can only hope they have changed.

I am sure they have - but my experience with NCT has put me off for life.

Ime most independent birth classes do push the 'natural' birth agenda. There are several options outside the NHS classes around here and they all come from an 'alternative' viewpoint, from hypnobirthing to a more general course run by an independent midwife.

However, our NCT teacher was pretty good and went through many possible outcomes, including a kind of c section run through where she showed us just how many people were there in the room during the op or even an assisted delivery.

I have to say that none of it could have prepared me for the drama of DS2's birth which happened within 15 minutes of our arrival in hospital, accompanied by 2 obstetricians and neo natal doctors... But it was good to know I wasn't the first or last!

Like any good teacher those teaching NCT should differentiate their classes to the needs of their students. You sound as though you've had a bad deal. I hope you got on with the other people in your class though - they'll be worth that 200 in a few month's time!

You didn't pay £200 to join the NCT - that pays for your classes. If the class is not meeting your needs, could you speak to the teacher - you may find that topics of more interest to you are coming up and had the teacher plunged straight in with them in week one, the rest of the group might be posting here saying "we were hoping for more about straightforward birth and all we're getting is medication/monitoring etc". And anyway - many things which are helpful in a straightforward labour can be helpful in more complicated situations and I would imagine you will cover some postnatal stuff as well.

No class will be able to totally prepare someone for labour & birth because there can be so many variables - and labour is such a unique thing, one woman's straightforward vaginal birth can be another's idea of hell on earth.

Talk to the teacher - she will want to be meeting the needs of the people on her course.

NCT has not been a part of my life since I misguidedly went to their ante natal classes.

IME (out of date so sorry if it's changed) it was all home birth, birth without intervention, water birth , aetc.

And they HATED bottle feeders like myself.

I didn't do NCT but did do a private antenatal class. Your teacher sounds a lot like mine and I hated every second. I thought it was absolute garbage. I am a practical person and hate any new age stuff. To my absolute astonishment though the other couples loved it! I think it's a lot down to the kind of person you are.

My husband actually walked out of the couples class after spending the morning doing (useless) breathing exercises and talking about what music we would like and when we would be drinking champagne in the whole birth experience. He said it was a pile of old cack and just didn't help prepare anyone for a normal first birth, and unfortunately (as I would have preferred the lovely NCT romanticised version) he was right.

I realised why all that learning about the Tens machine for hours was futile about one day into my three day labour!

Socially, I did meet one lovely girl, and was friends with her for a while. Unfortunately I found some of the other mums formed a bit of a clique and were quite bitchy, one of the best things I ever did was just deciding I didn't actually have to hang out with them a year after our children were born, it wasn't compulsory to have NCT friends, unless you really liked them of course.

If it doesn't suit, I would just stop going or have a word with the tutor. It is a bit weird as you kind of feel they are a charity which they are, but then you pay quite a lot to go but don't appear to have the kind of consumer feedback mechanism you might expect. I can imagine that if you know you are having a complex medical delivery, the NCT classes have little to offer which is a shame.

but that's just not true, our class were walked through an entire cs, which stood me in excellent stead when dd was a cs. you ask, you get, ime with the NCT.
and there are reasonably detailed evaluation forms handed in about each class, afaia. certainly that was the case for our sessions.

Sounds like you have been unlucky with your particular teacher. Ours was a bit annoying at times too, but ultimately the information she gave us was useful.

Although we are all very different 'types' and initially I didn't believe it, our group members got along surprisingly well. 6 1/2 years later we are all still in touch and some are amongst my best friends. So give them all some time and these friendships may outlast the nutty teacher.

There is nothing wrong with home birth - it is a valid choice for some people. I have had two now and am still not a lentil weaver.

I agree with those who have suggested talking to your teacher, and asking for more information about how to manage a more medicalised birth.

Good luck with your birth and hope you enjoy your new baby.

When I went into premature labour I phoned nhs 24 and told them I didn't know what was happening. I was having tight pains in my abdomen and I didn't know what they were. I informed them that it couldn't be contractions because I wasn't experiencing a 'gentle rippling sensation'. Yes, this is what my NCT antenatal teacher told us contractions felt like! Maybe for some people (??)

Anyway, I made fab friends on my course which made it worth it but all of us agree that the classes weren't actually helpful to our births.

how on earth did you think tat contractions are a gentle rippling, though, unless you ignore everyy woman who has ever given birth and have never seen a film or television programme?

I have a friend who was a midwife and she was very anti-NCT. Having seen how my sister has turned out I can see why. She is now an NCT volunteer, a militant BFer (nothing wrong with BFind but really to make others feel like shit because they can't do it is a little harsh), her views are very narrow and no way other than the 'natural' way is considered enough. She was horrified when I said that my friend expressed milk so that her husband could do night feeds to give her a break as they were fortunate enough to have a baby who would BF and take bottle feeding. Said it was not right and that it would cause nipple confusion, however this sysmtem has worked very well for my friend so what is wrong with sticking with something that works for you? Anyway back to the NCT, I am sure they offer a good network and that not all the groups are the same but after the transformation into 'Earth mother' of my sister I am not so sure that it would be for me if I ever have a child.

allmyfriendsaremarried - if your sister did the training offered to NCT volunteers she would learn that her dogmatic and ill-informed views are not what the organisation promotes at all.

I didn't join the NCT, partly because I'd heard stories similar to yours, and I knew darn well I wouldn't be having my baby on music and aromatherapy. But now I wish I had, solely for the post-natal social contacts it might have given me. If some of the other parents on the course look like hopeful future support network/playmates for you + baby/toddler, and you don't have other nearby friends with babies or good local playgroups, it might be worth pursuing it just for that aspect.

It's a while since I had my kids, but do the midwife/health visitor run classes no longer exist?

That's where I met my group of friends. Classes were useful in knowing who to ring/where to go etc when in labour but the rest of it I think most people read books/mag/internet to get info on anyhow don't they?

I agree that my recent NCT classes were a complete waste of money. They really should provide their teachers with a syllabus, make the classes more structured so that all attendees know what is to be covered and not just fill them with waffle. Our class specifically asked a number of questions time and time again about bottle feeding & CS which the tutor just dodged, and most frustratingly spent loads of time shrugging her shoulders.

I felt very disappointed, and apart from meeting other parents-to-be, felt they were a total waste of time and money and wouldn't recommend them to others. I was honest on my feedback to the tutor & NCT. Hopefully they listen to others comments too.

NCT classes clearly don't suit everyone.

If you want a pre-ordained, fixed syllabus given to the teacher from a central body, with a predictable, uniform content, and some people do, then NCT classes will not meet your needs.

This does not mean the teacher makes it up as she goes along - she should have clear aims and learning outcomes for each session.

There is nothing wrong with a teacher having her own views as long as she accepts flexibility and the input of other views, too.