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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be so angry at having my break RUINED!

86 replies

solooovely · 04/03/2011 14:22

So you're going to a wedding 6 hours drive away so will be staying overnight. You're really looking forward to the time away for you and your DH (actually you are REALLY looking forward to it and REALLY need it due to just having recovered from PND after being ill for 3 years). You ask PIL to babysit 6 months in advance (you hardly ever ask). They say yes. You turn up to drop off the children and they say "you need to be back first thing in the morning as I want to go swimming".

Now bearing in mind this means that you won't be able to have a drink at the wedding as you'll have to be sober first thing the next morning, you'll have to have an early night and so miss most of the evening party, you'll have to get up very, very early the next day and drive straight back without stopping for breakfast or anything, won't have time for a shower and will arrive back exhausted and feeling like crap.

When you get back they are annoyed with you as they think you should have been back earlier and have decided not to go swimming anyway and so just give you dirty looks and sulk.

How would you feel? Right now am extremely angry and not sure if I'm overreacting.

OP posts:
ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 04/03/2011 14:23

I think I'd be fairly murderous, tbh

coraltoes · 04/03/2011 14:23

I'd never fucking ask them a favour ever again. I'd also point out how selfish they were. fuckwits.

Needanewname · 04/03/2011 14:24

I think I'd kill them!

BooyFuckingHoo · 04/03/2011 14:25

arseholes!! i would be furious. tehy could at least have the decency to go swimming afetr making you come home early!!! what did DH say?

Summerfruit · 04/03/2011 14:25

Oh man !! I'll be feeling murderous too. They are so crap !! Poor you !!!

aPixieMomma · 04/03/2011 14:25

I'd be extremely pissed off and tell them exactly what I thought of them!

tethersend · 04/03/2011 14:26

I wouldn't have come back- just phoned from bed saying the car won't start.

Let this be a lesson to you- lie more often.

ShavingGodfreysPrivates · 04/03/2011 14:26

Ring them at 8am and say you've had a puncture en route then go back to sleep.

It's not as if they're going to abandon the children (hopefully).

Sound like a couple of fuckwits tbh.

CheeseandPickledOnion · 04/03/2011 14:26

YANBU. Surely swimming could have taken a back seat for once for them?

ExitPursuedByABear · 04/03/2011 14:27

How is going swimming a commitment that cannot be moved?

Ghastly people. Do you have other issues with them?

LionRock · 04/03/2011 14:27

Very annoying.

Not that it helps now but the phrase "first thing in the morning" is too vague as well, it can mean different things to different people.

Is there something else going on here? On the face of it, it seems an odd situation. Did PIL know you wanted it to be more of a mini-break? Are they usually more thoughtful? Do they maybe feel they only get to babysit when it suits you not them, so are being a bit obstructive? I ask as the part about "dirty looks and sulking" sounds immature and possibly passive-aggressive.

twolittlemonkeys · 04/03/2011 14:28

I'd be livid and unable and unwilling to ever take the children over to them to babysit again. So selfish. If they can't do a favour wholeheartedly I'd rather they didn't bother. I would expect DH in this instance to step in and explain clearly why they are so unreasonable, no matter how awkward it is for him to confront his parents.

MadamDeathstare · 04/03/2011 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

longlistofthingstodo · 04/03/2011 14:29

Clearly looking after the children is too much for you, I'm sorry for asking but it's so important to support your friends on their special day don't you think? Did the doctor recommend swimming for your joint problems? It's that age thing again, not getting any younger, eh? No, no, don't worry, we won't ask again.....

Passive aggressive - me?

MadamDeathstare · 04/03/2011 14:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justcarrots29 · 04/03/2011 14:30

YANBU and my parents were like this. I have cut contact with them. Selfish Morons.

thisisyesterday · 04/03/2011 14:32

i'd be very, very cross.... although i think i'd have tried to arrange it so i didn't have to be back first thing (not sure how though)

i'd like to think i could tell them how disappointed I was.
And I certainly wouldn't ask any favours again.

has your dh spoken to them about it?

blackeyedsusan · 04/03/2011 14:32

You are lucky that they had the children overnight...BUT if they didn't want to/couldn't have the children til you got back why not tell you in advance (so you could arrange something else/ not get your hopes up....)

Yanbu to be really really really cross.

bullet234 · 04/03/2011 14:36

6 hours drive away means that even if you were collecting your children at 10 or 11 am, you would have had to set off at 4 or 5 am.
No wonder you're upset.

HattiFattner · 04/03/2011 14:40

i'd just not go back -switch off the phone, and when you doo get back, claim a) you'ld both had too much to drink and b) you had slept in as a result. Phone them after you set off at a sesnible time and apologise, but you are 6 hours away, possibly 7 if you hit bad traffic, and will be back at 5'ish.

WHat can they do?

AllGoodNamesGone · 04/03/2011 14:42

I'd be really upset and angry.

I would never ask them to babysit again and would be tempted to get my own back in the future by refusing to take them to the chiropodists/hairdressers/supermarket because I wanted to go swimming.

YANBU.

PeterAndreForPM · 04/03/2011 14:42

Don't ever ask them again and make it very clear why

the selfish buggers

how short their memories would be, to "forget" what absolute bliss it is to have a "proper" night away and have a leisurely morning sans kids

for swimming ?

yuk

NoWayNoHow · 04/03/2011 14:42

YANBU. What a bunch of knobends. I'd have A LOT to say to them, including "why are you such selfish wankers?"

Have it out with them, explain how in future you would appreciate advance warning of inability to fulfill the previously agreed arrangement so you can make other child care plans with people who are slightly less up their own backsides.

TheProvincialLady · 04/03/2011 14:43

When they said you would have to be back early for their swimming, what did you say?

GoldenGreen · 04/03/2011 14:43

Assuming they knew the location and timing of the event well in advance, they should either have been clear about what they could/couldn't do for you or never have agreed. YANBU.