to expect my Mother is look after my son....

[hoops997]

while my childminder is on holiday, and not ask for £200!!

Does she (your mother) think there's some logic in asking for the money you would have paid the childminder anyway?

If that's the case then, I guess she may have a point; although I think, like other posters here, that she really should have made that point from the very start.

On the other hand, if you get tax credits, then you need to explain gently to her that the amount is actually £200 minus any childcare tax credits you get as a refund. When I was paying this kind of childcare fee I was getting about a two-thirds contribution from HMRC. (Admittedly I was a skint lone working parent, so had a good level of HMRC support.) [And no, the OP doesn't have to inform HMRC of a one week change of childcare circumstances, before the MN fraud squad get all excited...]

I think it's reasonable for a mum to help out her daughter with childcare. I also think it's reasonable for you to offer to cover her out-of-pocket expenses. Hope there's a compromise looming!

ROFL at the MN fraud squad

My mum has had my DD quite a few times just lately, including overnight, when either DD's been sick and can't go to nursery, or I've had to go to hospital and can't get her to nursery. It wouldn't occur to me to pay her for it. Just as it wouldn't occur to me to charge her for a meal when she drops in unexpectedly on a Saturday, or for petrol when she's asked me for a lift somewhere.

Generally families have a reciprocal arrangement of helping out where needed.

It would be different if it was a permanent FT CM arrangement, but a one-off shouldn't need payment.

How do you know your DM smacked your DS, did she tell you this?
Have to be a pretty clever 11mo to say she had

I think both BU, you for turning not offering any money or buying her a nice gift (given you were better off by the childminders fee and even more so if you claim it from tax credits)to thank her for the childcare and her for not stating up front that she would like some financial compensation for giving up a week of her holidays.

What your mum did was not very nice... and illegal.

Gosh-I look after dgs [2] one day a week and dgs [4.5] half a day and wouldnt dream of accepting money-looking after dgc is a privilege imho-but I couldnt do it full time.

mmmmmm a pretty mixed bag of opinions, I'm certainly not going to report my Mother for the taking money/smacking, I found out she smacked him cause my niece who is 11 was there and she told me, I have had a word and told her I don't appreciate DS being smacked, the CM doesn't do it so neither should she................she said but he was in the dog bowl, I sadi she should have shut the kitchen door then, anyway it's all done not, rant over.....but I still won't accept another offer of help!!

The issue here seems to be that GM offered to look after GS for OP with no mention of money/payment. OP understandably took the offer at face value and was understandably shocked when at the end of the week, GM requested payment. I'm sure if GM had told OP she'd want paying for her time beforehand, this would have been sorted out amicably. I know that if I'd been in OP's position, I'd have paid up too - otherwise she'd have looked like she was taking liberties in expecting her mum to look after her son for free. OP YANBU - your mum should have been upfront with you. Even if she expected you to offer some payment, it would have been fairer to raised this beforehand. However, IMO it would have been more appropriate for you to have covered any out of pocket expenses rather than pay her what would have been the wage for a childminder iyswim - that would have been considerably less than £200 by the sound of it.