to expect my Mother is look after my son....

[hoops997]

while my childminder is on holiday, and not ask for £200!!

My mother has looked after my kids for 4 days and nights on the trot and never asked for money. It wouldn't occur to her to ask. MIL has always looked after the dc's when they are sick and couldn't go to school/nursery. She has never asked for payment either but she does drop hints about gifts she'd like!

Still don't understand how you can use g/kids for making money. They keep me young and running around after them keeps me slim and healthy

I'm shocked that a grandmother would charge to look after her own grandchild!

How long did she look after him, for £200?
Was it the same rate you usually pay your childminder?

But YANBU anyway.

If she is soooo financially demanding, I suspect she has not got the warmest of personalities. Do you really want to subject your ds to a sour old trout!

I am at your mums attitude tbh! This is a one off thing not a regular arrangement, asking that amount of money to look after her own grandchild, what a cheek. My mum would love to look after dd 3.11 but as she is elderly I dont think she would cope as dd can be a bit of a handful. If she wanted money she should have told you from the beginning so that you could have the option of finding alternative arrangements.

How many days/hours has she had him for £200?

I wouldn't of paid her btw, but you have, so instead i would never arrange or take up an offer for her to have your DS again.
I would be asking for every occassion now if she needs payment for such and such, ie:

Your mum; " oh i was going to come over and bring DGS a toy for his birthday on tuesday"
You; " do you want money for travel expenses and the cost of the toy? "

Your mum; " I can have DGS saturday next week if you like?"

You; " depends really, haven't got enought money to pay you to babysit your own grandson at the moment, maybe i could not eat meat for 2 weeks so you can have "quality time " with YOUR grandson, i will think about it".

She is a cheeky money grabbing bitch op and i wouldn't let her forget what i thought about her.

and my mum would gladly do it out of the kindness of her own heart and would dream of asking for money, how low. I can understand expenses for outings etc, especially if they were hard up but £200

How often does she look after him? Sounds to me as if she is making a stand and there is more to this than you've disclosed.

meant would not ask for money

Ask her if she had to pay her own mother or MIL when they had her children over.

If not, just use this face
and tell her you will be seeing less of her during the recession.

MollieO even if she was making a stand, the mum should have said at the beginning and be up front about it then, not say AFTER looking after dc.

Even if the OP does have her DC with GM often, why would she pay her unless she had massive outgoings because of it?
I am sure that if i was in this postition where i felt a little taken advantage of, i would mention that i need a little expenses money etc for food, or travel if i were taking my grandchildren out.

But i wouldnt arrange to look after a grandchild and then after the fact demand £200!
WTF?
Its just not on.

New to this thread so hope i've got the basics! i agree with the others - grandparents should want to look after your child and if they don't or want 'compensation' then do you really want your child minded by them? My mother in law loves minding my children and would drop her plans in a second if needed buy my mother may be a bit like yours - it seems like she's doing 'me' a favour whereas my mother in law views it as me doing her a favour by giving her 1-1 time with my children. the end result if my parents lose out as i dont ask them for help now. i think if your mother has had to miss work etc then she should be compensated financially but otherwise its a huge insult to you and your children by making out its a chore.

Did your mother offer or did you ask? Does your mother need the money?

I think it's a strange situation but you and your mother seem a bit weird about this.

You begrudge paying your Mum for the childcare, thinking that she should want to look after your child. Why would you think it was free of charge?

Your Mum didn't mention the payment to you, was she waiting for you to offer?

If you could have arranged another childminder... why didn't you?

If you report your Mum to the tax office though, you would be really unreasonable.

To be honest, if my Mum would look after my child, I'd happily pay the childminder charge for the week. If she offered to do it for free, I would have maybe taken her to a spa or something nice in return.

You have a strange relationship with your Mum... and she with you.

This is a one off, because my CM had the week off, my DP was supposed to have him but we split up not so long ago, so my Mother says that she would have DS.................tis crap, she is getting holiday pay from work as well!

just read that your mother has taken the time off work with pay - then i think maybe she is being unreasonable and its probably time for you to admit - at least to yourself that you already know this is unreasonable. Not all grandparents are hands on like i said in my previous post and there's no point trying to change them - your mother probably doesn't view babysitting in the manner you expect from a grandparent but she may not consider that she's doing anything wrong - particularly if she doesn't have close relationship with them anyway???? Its sad that she wants paying but having it out with her is more likely to cause bad feeling so best to take it on the chin and avoid asking her in future! feel for you as she sound like my mum!

If she offered to have him and she wanted payment she should of asked.
A week is a long time, but she is still getting paid by her work.
I would of offered my mum a nice meal out at the weekend after and a nice bunch of flowers maybe £20-£30 for food etc.
But your mum didn't put conditions on this offer did she?
No, so she is being extremely unreasonable.
It is depressing that she was ok demanding £200 of you at the end of the week with no warning or suggestion.
What a cow.

Well hoops997... You sound miffed because you think you're entitled to childcare from your Mum. Some grandparents really want to look after their grandchildren, others are just pushed into it and made to feel guilty if they don't, and others just won't.

I would have been quite happy to pay the CM fee to my Mum, wouldn't begrudge it for a second - and I would have offered it upfront too. It's got nothing to do with whether she wanted to look after my DC or not, it's not a business arrangement with a parent (or shouldn't be), but no reason not to pay her or make it up in some other way either.

Your DC spent time with his grandmother and you had childcare, so result. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love him or want to spend time with him.

There are too many posters on this thread calling your Mum all kinds of names... is that ok with you? :(

i agree that name calling you mum is awful and people are really being rude about someone they don't know- all grandparents are different - my mother in law minds my children 1 day per week and we always treat her regularly - flowers, meals etc but i do think expecting the full cm fee is a bit much. However equally maybe she should have said if the week was too much for her which is sounds like may have been the issue and thats why she wanted paying. I know as much as my mother in law LOVES my children she is 60 and shattered after 1 day!

I don't expect free childcare at all lying I don't expect her to suddenly say she wants paying after the event, she didn't DS out or go to groups like my CM does........like people have said she's not insured, go through the same rigourous inspection, and also I found out that she smacked DS and made him cry :(

I won't be asking her in future, that's the sad thing about this

I think she took the piss and I hope you do too. £200 daylight robbery.

i think smacking your son is another issue and something you will definitely need to address with her if you have particular views on this subject. I always allow grandparents to discipline my children in my absence as they are the ones supervising them but within reason as our whole family using alternative methods such as 'naughty step', 'time out' or 'no treats' (which is think works best!!!). If you are against smacking you really need to have this out with your mum and she should respect your wishes - however i think she should be allowed to use other methods to maintain good behaviour and manners when the children are in her company.