to sternly tell a teenager off in a swimming pool changing room for swearing?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

She was calling her friends, very loudly, a bunch of bastards.

I said "stop that now, that is not appropriate in front of all these children."

She walked off muttering, I then asked her to apologise, to which she said she wouldn't as she wasn't sorry, but wouldn't do it again.

I repeated that I would like her to apologise for causing offence, and she again refused saying that she didn't need to apologise to anybody if she didn't want to.

All the other moms were muttering about her being a disgrace, the life guard eventually got her to grudgingly apologise to the room and told me later that they already knew who she was because of her attitude.

My friend who was with me told me she wouldn't have got involved, but I feel that this sort of behaviour needs to be challenged, albeit I normally do it in a more gentle, "Come on,guys" sort of way. I was just so shocked at the word and the volume that I went straight into cross mom mode.

What I'm really asking is AIBU to speak to an unknown child about her behaviour?

Marmalade32....... Her own safety?? What do you mean by that?

YANBU. . .too many rude noisy teenagers I hear swearing in the streets. . .and they need checking. Good for you. . . she had it coming !
If we pulled them up more, we wouldnt have the bad behaviour you see in the streets. I find teenagers (and I have just brought up 2x, but left home now 20 and 22yrs) noisy, swearing and cheeky in town. They dont shout and swear like this in France . . .why do the Brits ?

". . Why should she say sorry for something she wasnt sorry for ?"
Strandedpolarbear ! This is exactly the kind of attitude that promotes such fowl teenage behaviour. That girl SHOULD be sorry.

Period !

'fowl behaviour' ?

She was a bit chicken to be forced to apologise, OP intimidated her.

I maybe would have told off or discussed it with them but not ask for an apology - that's way overstepping your authority.

YANBU

although instead of asking for an apology, iwould have said "if you had any decency you would apologise" therefore leaving it up to her, without anything to dig her heels in about.

Well done.

I think you were well within your rights to ask for an apology (maybe the method was not ideal); her refusing to do so is not the point; scum like her need to be told (at every available opportunity) that such behaviour in front of younger children is not acceptable.

'scum like her need to be told (at every available opportunity) that such behaviour in front of younger children is not acceptable.'

She's not scum, she was a teenager talking to her friends who forgot that there were other people there. Thoughtless yes, but I think your description is vile.

Goblinchild - people using that sort of language at that age are scum.

As opposed to all the adults I hear around me in town swearing? Or using rude gestures when driving?
Or describing their weekend activities with graphic details?

She wasn't scum ..she was thoughtless ,yes but not scum

I think it is fine to call her on it. Fine to speak to her quietly and calmly and ask her to moderate her language.
BUT ott to keep going on, and a bit disrespectful to her.
From her POV, you embarrassed and humiliated her in front of her friends - all the mums muttering about her being a disgrace life guard getting her to apologise to everyone . She said she wouldn't do it again. Repeatedly asking her to apologise
IMO was too too much. And out of proportion and a bit bullying actually.

Goblinchild - there is an inverse relationship with regard to swearing...the more you do it, the less effective it is.

Such people you describe are, most likely, scum as well. Alas, lots of people are like this nowadays.

I can accept YANBU NSTAS if you are saying that all people who swear in public are scum. That seems a fairer attitude than putting an age limit on it.

You were right to pull her up over what she said, and to point out that there were younger DC in hear shot. Not so sure about forcing a public apology. I'm sure even without that she would have thought twice before making the same mistrake again.

"Would you have challenged another adult in the same way?? Or a younger child? And demanded apologies from them?

Or are teens seen as fair game?"

I can't stand this passive-aggressive questioning on these types of threads.

IMO teenagers are the most difficult to challenge. You stand more chance of reasonable response with an adult and small kids will probably just cry, which is always great sport.

YANBU, Chaos, but I reserve the right to punt you in the fanjo anyway.

Stupid way to do it. Your usual way to do it is the way I do it and if done with a bit of humour it usually raises a smile out of the swearing bastards.

And calling a teenager who said the word 'bastards' scum is horrible.

"They dont shout and swear like this in France . . .why do the Brits ?"

They do swear, it just sounds well sexy and exotic so you don't notice as much.

'IMO teenagers are the most difficult to challenge.'

I think they are the easiest group to challenge if done properly. On the whole teenagers are all front. They really don't want to be called on it so easily back down. Don't humiliate them is really the rule of thumb.

I still remember be humiliated because of poor spelling!

Well, the teenagers round 'ere are notoriously difficult to challenge. Or easy to challenge depending on whether you view being knifed in the face a bit of a shitter or a quaint cultural quirk.

Yeah, bupcakes, but at least they dont all look like Vicky Pollard ! ha ha !!

Nah, Vicki Pollard is, loike, soooo foive years ago.

They all look like The N-Doobz now.

I'm glad you told her off for swearing (although demand for an apology was ott).
I get very annoyed with Teens showing off Effing and Blinding around their friends when DC are present. I don't care what they say when DC aren't there, but I think teens, even teens in packs, should have some sensitivity to young'uns -- and the elderly too, for that matter.

scum