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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be totally pissed at DH...

79 replies

mellyjelly · 22/02/2011 22:03

Our baby is 3 months...

I look after her 24/7 generally... And he takes her when he can.

So, works all day, goes running, comes back for a bath, by then it's her bedtime.

Tonight he wanted to go out with his friends, which is fine because he does work hard and I am expecting him to have her on Sunday night so I can go for dinner with mine.

He was supposed to have her until he went out at 8.00, so I could have a quick tidy up, maybe watch eastenders etc, then he goes out. She's usually in bed at 9...

His friends show up at 7. They all leave.

She screams the place down. Hysterically. Like I've never heard her cry before. I call him to cone home after an hour because she's my first baby and I just ran out of things to try and was starting to panic.

Of COURSE as soon as he walks in the door (pissed off) she stops screaming, but she's still breathing raggedy, red tear streaked face so I think quite obvious she's been hysterical.

He's so angry, so am I.

Now apparently he's going to have a make up session with his friends Sunday. When I was going out.

I don't go running, I don't go to work, I don't go out once a week.

I want him to give me back my night I've been looking forward to for weeks and swallow the fact that he had to cut his night short.

AIBU??

OP posts:
darleneconnor · 22/02/2011 22:05

yanbu

kittycat37 · 22/02/2011 22:05

YANBU

Make sure you go out Sunday night.

ballstoit · 22/02/2011 22:05

YANBU. He sounds like my ex. Thats why he's my ex.

He said he would have her Sunday, tonight is completely unrelated.

pink4ever · 22/02/2011 22:06

YABU!! you called him home because your dc was cryingHmm. Think that was really just a revenge tatic because you were pised off that he went out earlier than planned. So now you cant really blame him for wanting to sabotage your night out,can you?.

SueWhite · 22/02/2011 22:07

YANBU

Say you are not cancelling plans for Sunday, but arrange for another night next week for him to go out.

DadOnAHotTinRoof · 22/02/2011 22:07

No. And I'm a Dad that thinks that - yanbu.

If he wants a makeup night then maybe that's okay - but overlapping it with your night out is just childish. And a little vindictive. And him being angry is the same.

kittycat37 · 22/02/2011 22:09

What DadOnAHotTinRoof said.

He doesn't have to go out Sunday.

Of course you're going to be worried with such a little baby screaming.

Of course you wanted reassurance.

He should understand that.

I'll bet he'd phone you if you were out and the situation was reversed.

theredhen · 22/02/2011 22:09

YANBU - I think he is entitled to another night out because this one was cut short, but he will have to make it at a time when you are home to look after baby!

ChaoticAngelofAnarchy · 22/02/2011 22:11

YANBU Tell him you're going out Sunday as planned and get him to arrange another night out with his friends.

ENormaSnob · 22/02/2011 22:11

Tell him to go out sat instead.

yabu ringing him to come home in the first place though.

CameronCook · 22/02/2011 22:14

You both deserve a night out so its unfair for him to take over yours - HIBU

You may have been a teeny weeny bit U calling him back cos she was crying, but heck its your first baby, you've had 3 months of limited sleep, you're probably still surging with hormones, so don't feel bad.

squeakytoy · 22/02/2011 22:14

Is there a grandparent who could babysit on Sunday night?

sunnydelight · 22/02/2011 22:15

He's an arse saying he's going out on Sunday just to spoil your plans. Did you over-react calling him home? well maybe, but it's hard to be rational when faced with a hysterical baby so he could cut you some slack.

Thingumy · 22/02/2011 22:15

You sounds utterly exhausted OP.

Can't you come to an agreement,he goes out saturday and you go out sunday?

He's being a bit of a cock but maybe if you weren't so stressed and knackered you wouldn't of panicked and called him when your dd was screaming.

Try talking about how you feel to your dh.

FabbyChic · 22/02/2011 22:16

You were unreasonable to call him home, however you should not have to cancel your night but don't be surprised if she gets hysterical Sunday that he calls you home and you should go to, you expected the same of him.

Tell him to pick another night.

foreverondiet · 22/02/2011 22:16

Difficult one. I can see why he was pissed off about coming back tonight. What did you think he could do by coming back?

How would you feel if she screamed the place down for him and he called you to come home?

However, he is BU to go running every night right after work. He should go running after she is in bed.

jenga079 · 22/02/2011 22:28

I don't go running, I don't go to work, I don't go out once a week It's not really about tonight is it? Sounds to me like you need to talk it all through. Good luck.

curlymama · 22/02/2011 22:28

YWBU to call him home, there was really no need. Would you have done the same if he was at work?

I understand why your dh is pissed off. If you apologise for calling him home and have a chat about things, he might realise all by himself that you should still get to go out on Sunday.

Original poster
mellyjelly · 22/02/2011 22:29

I understand what youre all saying, but she isn't like that... Of course she cries, but this was absolute wailing for over an hour... I panicked. I wasn't being vindictive calling him back, I really wasn't. I called him because I panicked.

And I suppose I could ask my mum to have her on Sunday, but I've never left her before and I'm really nervous about going out as it is without leaving her with someone other than DH...

OP posts:
kittycat37 · 22/02/2011 22:31

Why should you ask your Mum? Why is he being a child and demanding the same day you had planned to go out?
Why can't he go out again another night?

He's being selfish and mean.

StewieGriffinsMom · 22/02/2011 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ormirian · 22/02/2011 22:35

YANBU in the slightest.

A propos of nothing , when I tried to type in yanbu the first time my iPhone gave me tabby as an alternative Grin

TheSecondComing · 22/02/2011 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moodykat · 22/02/2011 22:38

In my opinion YWdefNBU - my DH and I have a deal that we cannot go out until DS is in bed, or at least bathed and pj-ed.

Original poster
mellyjelly · 22/02/2011 22:41

Thesecondcoming - I know babies cry... This wasn't my first night with get alone. I've never called him home before, and I hope never to again.

She was absolutely hysterical and at times seemed like she couldn't catch her breath and I really, really panicked.

I've never called him home from work / running / a night out before. And I actually don't think I should have to apologise (even though I did when I called) because she is his child too.

OP posts:
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