To be totally pissed at DH...

[mellyjelly]

Our baby is 3 months...

I look after her 24/7 generally... And he takes her when he can.

So, works all day, goes running, comes back for a bath, by then it's her bedtime.

Tonight he wanted to go out with his friends, which is fine because he does work hard and I am expecting him to have her on Sunday night so I can go for dinner with mine.

He was supposed to have her until he went out at 8.00, so I could have a quick tidy up, maybe watch eastenders etc, then he goes out. She's usually in bed at 9...

His friends show up at 7. They all leave.

She screams the place down. Hysterically. Like I've never heard her cry before. I call him to cone home after an hour because she's my first baby and I just ran out of things to try and was starting to panic.

Of COURSE as soon as he walks in the door (pissed off) she stops screaming, but she's still breathing raggedy, red tear streaked face so I think quite obvious she's been hysterical.

He's so angry, so am I.

Now apparently he's going to have a make up session with his friends Sunday. When I was going out.

I don't go running, I don't go to work, I don't go out once a week.

I want him to give me back my night I've been looking forward to for weeks and swallow the fact that he had to cut his night short.

AIBU??

I do feel for you. As this is your first baby I understand I must have been quite scary for her to act like that. But in my experience of babysitting mu sisters kids and the stories she has told this can happen and is generally just down to a massive first tantrum and the baby is actually fine!

However the situation as a whole sounds a bit tit for tat to me. You said he left earlier than expected and it came across in your post that it pissed you off. Did you mention this to him before he left with his friends? Because if you did he probably thinks you did deliberately call him home early. I'm not saying this was definitely the case but if he read it like that and he is fucked off with you for it then he will be thinking "oh I will just ruin her night like she ruined mine"

But from your side yes he is making himself look like a total arsehole - and unfortunately some partners are just like that, no offense. I only say this because he sounds like my close friends husband.. She never goes out but when she does it's a huge hassle for him.

I think what I comes down to is a long chat between you both when you are both calm. And maybe you need to say "well you go out and enjoy your hobbies so I'm going to take one night of my own to take up a hobby"

I think maybe you getting out for an hour on you own in the week might help you to de stress and take some of the weight off. It's almost like you have put too much pressed on yourself by saying "I have to be the one to stay home and do everything with the baby" when in reality you have a partner and a mum to help. People don't mind looking after babies. ESPECIALLY not the grandparents :)

OP, you are not to feel guilty about calling him home when you needed him. Your baby is twelve weeks old! Twelve weeks! Tiny. All normal rules are suspended. In the first three months of my children's life neither of us went out alone except for the essentials such as work and food shopping. It doesn't sound as if you are breastfeeding and one of the beautiful things about that is that you can SHARE the care much more easily, as DD isn't as dependent on you. Personally I don't think that he should be doing anything other than work or chores/errands that benefit the family while the baby is awake. He can run first thing on a Saturday morning or he can go out late evening when she is down. I bet that when he has her you aren't sitting down or relaxing. I bet you're washing up and tidying. You need to talk. And don't give up your night out. He can wait a week or longer to see his mates.

MissyMorrison87 said "People don't mind looking after babies. ESPECIALLY not the grandparents "

No offence intended, Missy, but have you never read any of the threads where people are FIGHTING to get their child's grandparents to take an interest in them?!?! There are tons of grandparents who wouldn't want to return to their youth and spend x - even 1 or 2 - hours looking after a young baby.