To ask if you ever smack?

[thatwasntverycleverwasit]

I am suffering from enormous guilt having delivered one swift smack to the back of DDs legs when I was at the end of my rope (first, and I hope only, time). Yes it was unreasonable and I said sorry to her. But it seems to be a completely taboo subject - surely I can't be the only Mum to have done this?

I'm just glad you're not my mother, altinkum. At least when my mother 'physically chastised' us (categorically NOT viewed by me as abusive, btw), she had the balls to admit what she was doing.

On the subject of that, and on whether or not it works, it never worked on me. From as early as I can remember, I always thought "Who the fuck do you think you are?". It never taught me respect. It taught me the opposite, along with resentment. And it never taught me any 'lessons' either.

the word "chastisement" is used to distinguish between hitting which is abusive, ie leaves a mark, and hitting which is mild enough to qualify as "reasonable chastisement"

that is not the same as the law distinguishing between hitting and smacking/chastisement/whatever you call it to make you feel better

however much you wriggle, you can't get away from the fact that you are smacking, you are hitting, and it is wrong, and you clearly know it.

FFS. It is NOT my 'opinion'. It is the definition of a word. Seriously, buy a dictionary.

lovely passive aggressive smiley there

and give over with the passive-aggressive smilies, too.

HAHAHAHAHA! Funniest x-post ever.

Goodness altinkum, don't you use a lot of CAPS and !!!! it's like reading The Sun.

Yes I have done it, but only when exasperated/at the end of my tether and felt terribly guilty afterwards.

I never think it's a good thing, and I am not proud of it - I have never smacked my younger children, but I smacked DS1 a lot as he would not stop biting his sister (at 4), he used to do it all the time, and she had broken skin everywhere where he'd bitten her, even on the face. I was at the end of my tether with it all as we had tried absolutely everything and he just wouldn't stop.

It don't think the smacking stopped him by the way, and he seems to just have grown out of it.

It's the inability to control ones' emotions that sometimes takes over and I find a little scary when it happens to me....

I feel like I'm speaking in a foreign language. Bored now. You carry on hitting your kid, altinkum, and see how much respect you get.

I've got to 18 months nearly and never felt the urge, hopefully I never will, but I get the feeling it may be wishful thinking, I know if I do I will feel ghastly afterwards.

Sorry, your niece. If my sister hit a child of mine, she'd never be left alone with him/her again, but there you go.

I have not got the hump because you didn't agree with me. There's nothing to agree. You are denying the definition of a word! There is no argument here. The definition of a word is, by it's very definition, the definition. You can't change that to suit yourself.

So I'm bored of saying the same thing over and over. You, altinkum, are the most passive-aggressive person I have yet encountered on these boards. Mind you, I have seen before how people with poor English comprehension skills can get very defensive, so I shouldn't blame you. It's not really your fault.

I did not attack your writing ability. I asuggested that you might have poor English comprehension skills (and not in an 'attacking' way, by any means), and due to your last post to me I have no choice but to stand by that statement.

Re. OP question:

DD is 8y. I have never smacked her and never intend too. DH the same. It is just not something we do. Was something we knew from day one and have managed to stick with that over the past 8 years or so.

Just read a few of later posts.

How would you define physical chastisement if not hitting?

Doesn't matter what term you use to dress it up - a tap, a smack, a slap, hitting. It is all designed to cause pain as a form of punishmet in order to get the child to do what you want them to do.

To Smack a child is perfectly ordinary, but in my experiance it is better to smack a child when there are younger age up to about 9 but when they have passed this age what works better is to give them a punishment eg no pocket money for a week, no computer for a few days, no tv for a day or two, not telephone for a while, take there mobile away for a coupe of days so on so on