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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

As I spent most of my time here..I thought I'd use it to say goodbye

672 replies

ThePosieParker · 22/02/2011 16:17

As starkly reminded by recent threads, MN is not the sort of place that I feel very safe, with or without anonymity. I don't expect to be missed, I have often been quite and outspoken bitch on here and haven't exactly made a lot of friends. I am delighted to have met some of the feminists, and will hopefully see them again. But twice in two weeks I've had PMs reminding me of things I've posted about my husband and I'm really upset about it. For me MN has been a quick knee jerk experience, one that captures my mood at any moment. So toodle pip.....about time I did more with the dcs anyway.

I am really aware that this is an attention seeking thread, but I just wanted MN to know that I won't be the only one leaving when apparent heartbreak (not mine) is fodder for someone's 'shit stirring Sunday'.....

OP posts:
TheSecondComing · 22/02/2011 22:15

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CaptainNancy · 22/02/2011 22:19

ah- you've only been here a year (said in nicest possible way).

TheSecondComing · 22/02/2011 22:24

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FellatioNelson · 22/02/2011 22:38

Agree with Lougle.

Disclaimer: I am Alouiseg's friend in RL. However, I hope what I am about to say would be no different if I didn't know her from Adam. I will not take sides re: the whole Twitter thing as I didn't read it so I cannot know who was justified in doing/saying what. But I have some thoughts and observations on what has gone on since.

Posie I can't really see the point in your leaving whatsoever now. I assume you feel vindicated as a result of this thread. You could have reported any PMs you felt were below the belt quietly and privately, but you've gone down the attention seeking flounce route, and eeked out a full four hours whilst knowing that Alouiseg's identity was being drip fed, and speculated upon, which was clearly your intention all along. You should have just named her in your OP and be done with it. So given that you have achieved what you wanted, and got loads of sympathy - why leave?

Re: The PMs. This is a minefield. We will need a whole raft of best practice guidelines about how/why/when we can PM people, and what we can and cannot say in future. We all know we use PMs to bitch about one another from time to time - but taking someone to task face to face is is off limits on PM, whereas blatantly rowing with them on the open forum is not? Confused If I make what is deemed a personal attack on a poster as a one-off, the post gets deleted, end of story. Alouiseg has made what presumably constituted a personal attack by PM, because she felt that what she had to say might compromise Posie and should be between the two of them and not for all to see - and she appears to be banned.

Can some arguments not be put to rest privately then? Is it obligatory that whenever a serious difference of opinion erupts, it must be played out in one big gladiator's arena for all to see? We really should know for future reference.

And on bringing up old threads: I see no harm in it. In RL we need to stand by things we've said or bear the consequences. Our friends' memories are not wiped clean the moment we walk away from them, and it's no different with online friends. We are entitled to change our opinions, of course, but we will piss off our friends and garner little respect if we have no consistency in our stories, gloss over facts, conveniently forget that certain conversations ever happened, or just be a hypocrite. It's tiresome in RL and it's tiresome on MN. (not aiming any of that specifically at Posie, just making the point that we should be able to reference things people have said in the past - just as we would in RL.)

I know it may be bad form to drag up people's pasts into threads when it is not entirely relevant, but sometimes if their memories are annoyingly short, and they are spouting inconsistent crap, they need a polite reminder. Again, I did this myself just the other day. So. What is it then - we can do this - so long as it's not by PM? Confused

I think unless you were fighting your corner on the Twitter argument and have followed this the whole way, then saying publicly you will ignore Alouiseg now as a result of Posie's flounce is a bit childish and smacks of playground gang mentality. There are always two sides to every story and so far you only know one. If you want to avoid any poster because you find them objectionable then it's easily done - I do it all the time. I just don't feel the need to inform you all of who they are by way of a list.

Last point - thesecondcoming - your remark about Alouiseg's politics were irrelevant, childish, bitter and nasty.

LessNarkyPuffin · 22/02/2011 22:40

If you have to whisper then you shouldn't be saying it.

pigletmania · 22/02/2011 22:42

Oh god Alousig she was full of shit, her rigid views on certain things really upset me, so i avoid threads where she was on.

LeQueen · 22/02/2011 22:43

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ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 22/02/2011 22:45

Pete's 'T' is a bit dodgy too

Xenia · 22/02/2011 22:45

If we post stuff it's our own faults if it comes back against us. That's the risk we all take. You hope people won't out you of course.

I don't think the principle of mentioning what someone has said on another thread is always wrong on line. I think I would always try not to do so as it personalises things but if someone is going on about being married and they've posted repeatedly they just had a live in lover or last week they'd been very high Tory and suddenly they are being all left wing I don't think it would be wrong to mention their earlier posts.

I haven't read this whole thread and don't know who the people are mentioned on it but it's a pity when people stop posting and it would be very dull if we all had the same views. It would also be terribly awful if women got to such a position that they just had a kind of constant "nice fest" - aren't you wonderful, no your bottom never looks bad in anyway, mutual appreciation society - would be so so dull. Lots of women like combat and winning and trimuph over others. Let's not it ever be said that we have to happy clappy smarmy Stepfords just because we are female. We are as varied as men.

BeerTricksPotter · 22/02/2011 22:46

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LeQueen · 22/02/2011 22:47

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Mumcentreplus · 22/02/2011 22:49
Hmm
GotArt · 22/02/2011 22:51

Gladiator's arena!!! Grin

I'm thinking if it starts there, it must end there.

I don't know who Alouiseg is as really, I can barely remember anyone's name around here outside of my Ante-natal thread ladies. I usually remark on people's immediate comments as my life is too full of other stuff to keep track of someone else's inconsistencies in stories. I do think there is and should be plenty of room for someone to change opinion and not be held in contempt for that change of opinion.

BeerTricksPotter · 22/02/2011 22:52

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Sassybeast · 22/02/2011 22:53

Changing opinion is fine. It's changing facts, telling lies and then re writing history that shows people up to be a bit odd and lacking in some areas.

LeninGrad · 22/02/2011 22:54

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GotArt · 22/02/2011 22:55

Facts change too. No one can ever be completely objective.

jenandberry · 22/02/2011 22:56

I suspect most changing of facts is to do with covering your tracks and mantaining privacy. The very thing we keep being told to do.

TheSecondComing · 22/02/2011 22:58

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Rehabbibu · 22/02/2011 23:00

But as I said before, it's wise to change some details if you want advice but don't want to be outed over a particular issue, so facts changing may just be self-protection, rather than trollishness.

Rehabbibu · 22/02/2011 23:00

x posts with jen.

Maryz · 22/02/2011 23:00

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Rannaldini · 22/02/2011 23:03

would anyone like me to go?

or would anyone like to throw some insults at me?

i am sober and have had a nice nap today

Xenia · 22/02/2011 23:03

The right are the very best as I hope everyone knows but I'm sure anyone who has opinions is more than happy to have debates about them. It's good fun. Of course one hopes to convert you all to the cause of the right...

As for facts, yes people can change all sorts to help keep anonymity, good point. I don't do it which is why I hvae very occasionally been identified on-line but I don't post anything I'd be unhappy with people knowing anyway. The more people know that you can have fun, have lots of children, a successful career, earn money and have a good life and that woman plus career plus babies is the route to happiness the better.

TheShriekingHarpy · 22/02/2011 23:04

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