to ask you to tell me the annoying things your MILs do/ have done? (just for fun)

[IHaveAPainINMyNeck]

to make me feel more benevolent towards mine??

At her daughters wedding I was made to feel like a bag lady. I had most of the coats etc dumped on me even though I had an 8 month dc to look after. Older dc was in wedding party so appeared in lots of photos. Dh did too. I think myself and younger dc appeared in 1 wedding party photo and that was a bit of afterthought. Similar think happened at christening. She took photos of all the "family" but I wasn't there at time.

However, apart from these instances we do actually get on ok. She could be worse.

We tolerate each other really. Found out a few things lately that have made me realise that she doesn't really like me.

She told DH to leave me when we'd had an arguement just before we were due to get married til he told her I was pregnant and then that was that then....she changed her tune and he HAD to marry me.

She hides bibles on the kids bookshelves (she's deeply religious and while I have nothing against religion, she knows that I don't like it thrust on my dc's!)

She asks how I am, and if I say anything except that I am fine I get the 'well you CHOSE to have so many children it's your own fault'

She went through a phase of coming round and bullying me into letting her have the kids (only the ones she wanted at the time though!!) on a saturday so I was only left with sundays with them and I had to do all the baths, uniforms etc, and no time for fun with them as DH was at work. After a few weeks my eldest ds said that he overheard her talking to a friend at a fair thing she'd taken them all to...apparently she likes to take the children out as I do nothing with them Course I don't.... I just sit on my arse all day don't I?!?

Trying to support our local community I signed me and the kids up for the carnival parade and did the costumes etc. She tells me it's pointless and doesn't know why I bother.

She used to try and do my washing when she came round til I started hiding it!! That's my pet hate is anyone else sorting my washing!!

She wouldn't let me attend DHs nans funerals (lost both in the space of 6 months ) At her own mothers funeral I was heavily pregnant and she said it would be better if i was just to wait back at the house to let the guests in for the wake and uncover all the food, make the tea etc. She then proceeded to lock me in the dining room with the priest and the undertakers to try and bully me into having my kids christened and tell me how evil I am for not having them christened yet. (I plan to do this when they are old enough to make their own choices!) Then when her MIL died (dhs other nan) I was told I couldn't go to the funeral as I wasn't family.... then proceeded to have a go at me that she'd never got to meet dd2 before she died.

She only favours some of our children. And it is obvious. DH was going to take me away once (we have never been away even overnight...even when we got married!!) and then she ruined it by refusing to have the kids, saying she couldn't cope with them. Sometimes she will offer to have some of them if I need to go to an appointment etc, then says that theres no rush and then when we get back complains we are late and she has to go out etc.

The biggest thing we hate is that she invites all the family round for big dinners and goes out with them all etc but we never get invited. We only find out by chance about them, like it's all a big secret.. We have however been invited to her dds 30th party tomorrow, which I am dreading big time (suppose its a chance for her to show off mt dd3 seeing as most of the famiy haven't met her yet). I will just hide in a corner while everyone gets my childrens names wrong and forgets that it will also be MY 30th birthday very soon....She sent an invite for it at the weekend. So I have to drop everything this week to attend. DH is at work tomorrow, she put on the invite that she will save him some food....

She bullied DH into landscaping her garden for her then kept changing her mind. He told her to get someone else into finish it. She won't and continually has a go at me and him about it.

When me and DH had a bad patch last year, she suddenly started coming round all the time and 'supporting me' saying DH had been an idiot with what he did and to leave him to it etc. Then I found out from DH that she'd only tried to do that so she didn't have to say she was going to lose her grandchildren. She was just trying to keep me sweet. She promised she would take me and the kids on holiday this year without DH cos of all that had happened. (long story but me and DH are trying to make a go of our marriage again now...she dispproves)

She buys presents for all the kids when its one of thems birthday which I really don't agree with but I suppose it's harmless enough really and certainly not the worst thing...

oh I could go on forever....

she also told me the other week that I look better for getting some fat off me and that I am not to put it back on....

After reading this I think i got away lightly.

MIL is agrophobic - Will not leave the house. So no unexpected visits (we also moved 150 miles away just to make sure). She keeps herself to herself mostly. When we told them we were expencting a got a blow by blow account of her births with DH and SIL. Prolapse included

However SIL is another matter. She was a bridesmaid at our wedding. Nightmare from start to finish.

• She was never actually asked to be a bridesmaid, just assumed.
• Then demanded we have the dresses made because she couldn't try anything on in the shops we went to (She was a size 24+ at the time and refused to let me order soemthing she hadn't tried on.
• On hen weekend she threw a strop and expected me to run after her to bring her back. Eh I don't think so. Then she had a huge moan to my mum about how selfish I was and she didn't feel involved
• When she found out that DH was having his female friend as an usher, demanded to know who she would be doing the Grand March with at the wedding (it'sa Scottish thing where the bridal party all march round the dance floor in partners) She wasn'ty doing it with a girl. When told we weren't having a Grand March because the dance floor at the venue was quite small she sulked and said we had to have one.
• Throughout all the fittings for her bridesmaid dress she wore a bra, the same bra each time. Dressmaker made the straps to fit over the bra. At final fitting she turned up with a new bra, that had different straps and could be seen. She refused to wear the other bra and had to get the dress altered 3 days before the wedding.
• Limited for space, we only had parents and Cheif Bridesmaid/Best Man at our top table. Not happy with this she guilt tripped Dh into changing the arrangement as "It would be her only chance to sit at a top table. I made sure she was at the end furthest from me!
• On wedding day turned up looking like an oompaloompa. She had had 3 fake bakes done during the week. I am pale and interesting, she just looked ridiculous. I have since found out she hadn't even washed off the 3rd application!

Thats just the wedding stories! I could have an entire thread on the rest of her antics!

I much prefer to spend time with my MIL as she is much nicer to me than my own mum unfortunately MIl & I have had our up's and downs as normal people do in relationships/friendships, but we get on very well now (since the DD's arrived)

Step-FIL on the other hand is another matter entirely.

before we were married, my dh and his mother were going to fill out my visa forms together.

mil told dh that she would fill them out. she wrote a note in my application that i wanted to come to the uk for 'illegal purposes' so I was denied the wife visa.

we didn't find out till we were on our way to Bora Bora where we were taken off the flight (because end location was going to be London)

after we were escorted off the plane, we tried to check into a hotel and go to the british embassy that was in La (where we were) and found that someone had called and canceled all of my dhs credit cards/bank cards.

we had only been married three days at this point so I was too ashamed to call my parents, and i had transferred the money from my bank account (US) to my dhs in the UK--so it wasn't really in any account yet.

we spent many nights sleeping under desks at fed ex kinkos and 3 days sitting in front of the embassy hoping someone would cancel and we would be seen.

husband couldn't believe his eyes when he saw the application himself and what his lovely mother had written.

did i mention, that on our wedding night she called 17 times?

I actually feel quite a lot better about my MIL after reading some of these stories.

Sure, she's a bit needy and difficult sometimes but on the whole not that bad at the moment.

She does have a weird relationship with food though, which I can see I'm going to have to deal with before my daughter gets much older.

(years ago but still bugs me - one of my many selfish loony MIL stories)

MIL promised to make the cake for DP's 30th birthday party then when I asked a few days prior how it was going she admitted she'd forgotten and would it be ok if I made it instead?

Livid but wanting it all to go smoothly I speed-baked and decorated a cake for him, only for MIL to turn up at the party with a homemade cake for DP's aunt whose birthday (47th or something so not a biggie) was a week after his - THEN after we'd all sung happy birthday to DP she insisted everyone sing again for his aunt (who was known only by about 10 of the 60-odd people at the party)

!

My mother-in-law is amazing. It would be impossible for her to be nicer or more supportive in everything we do. I want to be like her when I grow up.

My mother's pretty difficult though. :)

When DS started (German) kindergarten she said 'what do they call him at kindergarten?'.......Me: err Little Omlett , because its his name!

When discussing DDs special diet (after a visit to the GP) I explained it was a 'chicken & egg' situation in that she needed the nutrients to treat one set of symptoms, but the food types caused other issues; - MIL said 'well whats she gonna have at my house then, I dont like eggs, but I could buy some chicken'

Left DS(9m) (v v sensitive skin) in the same nappy for 9 hours on a car journey because 'she didnt like to wake him'

Bathed same DS 4 times in 24 hours and then was astounded that his excema was bleeding!

Once asked me if 'he would be alright' refering to DH bathing DS - not sure which he she meant!

Reads anything lying around the house (cards, letters, medical reports), treats all my friends (even those she has never met before) as good friends of hers and asks me heeps of questions about them, has a very low expectation of my DH...

I could go on.....& on....& on but I guess I should be gratefull that its just pure stupidity rather than nastiness athought she is a PITA.

My MIL quite often disses people from council estates (I grew up on one) and as she is talking she says 'No offence' in my general direction.

She told me she nearly aborted dh.

When I had a miscarriage she sped to the hospital (loves a drama) squezzed my cheeks and said very loudly 'ITS NOT YOUR FAULT' I had never said it was.....then she said 'I know exactly how you feel, I aborted 2'

She has recently shacked up with a 39 year old Phillipino guy and he makes her feel like a lady because 'He opens doors, peels my prawns and sugars my coffee'

i did, they interviewed us--and realized my mil was evil.

she was pretty mad that i made it to the country though.

Some odd behaviour with my MIL:

1. Before we got married DH took his MIL out for dinner to explain that he loved me and wanted to marry me and he thought maybe she didn't like his wife-to-be. Her response? "It's not that I don't like *, it's just I hoped she'd go away so I could have you back again."

2. On our wedding day she got hugely drunk, and said "If you ever hurt my BABY, I'll **ing smack you in the face." (She was promptly taken away and I haven't spoken to her since... nearly a year later).

This thread is hilarious

kungfupanda Does my dp have a brother I don't know about? You've just described my MIL and SIL perfectly. It drives me mad seeing her being taken advantage of. She even phones her daughter if we want to go and see her..........just to check it's ok We don't bother that much anymore which is a real shame.

Just to redress the balance. My MIL was a wonderful woman, and my dear friend. We were very different people, different ideas, tastes etc but always enjoyed each others company and had great laughs together.

She never interfered with my DCS, was a loving Granny and always supportive (my DS is disabled). She got on great with my mum too.

When my marriage to her DS was ending she supported both of us, and continued to be a great friend and support despite my leaving him and his complaints re this.

When my mum died very suddenly she was as supportive as always. She died suddenly too a couple of years ago and I miss her every day.

"To the anaesthetist administering my epidural" Bucharest, what the F**k was your MIl in the theatre/labour room for in the first place?!

Mine is the following:

chippy
glass half empty
schoolmarmish
frumpy
metaphorically knocked the confidence out of her children
snobby about stupid people like hairdressers
generally unkind
takes the micky out of others
measures people by exam grades and marks
thinks she should have been an actress
has no friends
is above cooking or cleaning
can't use a knife and fork
snotty yet working class
greedy
counts food
her own fault she's ended up so unhappy
her two daughters live on different continents - anyone guess why?

Her piece de resistance when (we had one DS) and our 4th pregnancy ended in tragedy - "at least SIL1 can perform"

Mil is a difficult and selfish woman. She was an only child and very spoilt, FIL has spoilt her too. She had 2 DCs and even though they are now 36 and 39 she still wants to be the centre of their world.

Everything has to be on her terms, when we see her, where we see her. However, as a newlywed I let her get away with too much really. Now I am older and wiser I am not a pushover. DDs are not small anymore and I make the rules over visiting. I only wish that I had learnt to do this sooner.

Luckily for me sil moved closer to her last year and she now has access to be involved more in her life combined with me not having babies anymore means she leaves us alone. We have the occasional duty visit. The DDs are not interesting to her as she loves babies and toddlers. If I was to have another we would be back to square one and I would be fending her off with a big stick again!

My sister has a lovely mil who she is very close too. Lucky her.

this sounds like my MIL to a too!!

Purplepidjin I love my mother in law too! My Mum is great but can be a bit full on sometimes and doesn't always understand that families are supposed to support each other.

My MIL is lovely, a bit opinionated at times but it's always borne from a good heart and wanting to help. She lives alone and spends almost every evening with us till we take her home at about 10. It was our wedding anniversary recently and she asked if we had any plans. DH was at work till late, anniversary was mid week and we had a weekend away with friends booked for the following week so said that we were not going to bother doing anything. She insisted that she would buy us a takeaway which i thought was a lovely gesture. The night before our anniversary she pulled out a pen and paper from her bag and asked 'right then, what are we having for our tea tomorrow? I'd like to have it as early as possible as I can't sleep if I eat too late' LOL good job I love her to bits as i hadn't thought I would be sharing our anniversary evening!