Smokers

[boredbuthappy]

My best friend is a heavy smoker and has not stopped going on about how she can't wait to babysit. I'm 37 weeks now and the reality of the baby coming has set in very well and I've realized (not that that I didn't know it before, but suddenly my instincts are much more prominent) that I do not want smoke, second-hand smoke, anyone smelling of smoke anywhere near my child.

I told her that I was not going to let her anywhere near the baby if she smelled of cigarettes even if it's ever so slightly. She was very offended by this and told me that it wasn't going to do the baby any good by "wraping him in cotton wool".

I'm just curious to know hoe other people deal with this issue. Have no doubt, I'm not backing down, my baby-my rules, but how do you keep people from deciding you are going OTT with the protectiveness??

I don't want to get in a arguement but I don't believe taxes from smoking cover the amount of resources dedicated to smoking related illnesses.

Annpan88 - yes they do.

10 billion generated in smokin tax.

3-5 billion spent on smoking related illnesses.

you can deny the health implications all you want - but you can't deny the stink, makes me want to barf never mind some little baby.

smoking - not smokin!!

smoke if you want but it's horrible for the children of smokers, from the smell to worrying about your mum dying from a smoking related disease ( i actually used to cry about it when i was little). Yes, everyone dies - but it's not much fun nursing your 60 yr old mum for weeks, literally waiting for her to die of lung cancer - so guess i was right all those years ago - no-one was surprised how she went and it wasn't pretty - but hey ho, lets all be blase about it.

I'm afraid different websites provide different figures and those figures are from one of many different conflicting and possibly "reliable" sources. And its not just the cost to the NHS and theposieparker said.

Anyway, second hand smoke is dangerous for babies so I don't even see what we are arguing here. (I'm not saying its life threatening for all of them but it does cause problems for some babies)

Everyone just have some and smoke if you want, but not round peoples babies if they don't want you to

personally i wouldn't want to stick anything in my mouth that contained arsenic and hydrogen cyanide. but that's just me.

Like said above Govt could not afford the losses in tax revenue if everyone stopped smoking.

Second hand smoke is probably harmful to babies (but no-one knows HOW harmful). Third hand smoke is possibly harmful - but there is no evidence of that yet.

Smoking is undoubtedly harmful to the majority of smokers.

is also harmful to babies - so you'd better not let anyone near your baby if they've had a drink.

Gin....drinking only affects people's behaviour...no matter how much someone drinks they can't pass it on.

and no, i wouldn't let someone hold my baby if they'd been drinking either.

OP - Haven't had time to read the whole thread, just the first and last pages. Just wanted to say that I am a smoker and I wouldn't dream of going near a baby if I smelled of fags.

There is some correllation between smoking parents and cot death - even if the parent(s) don't smoke anywhere near the child. Have you ever heard the advice that if you're a new mum and a smoker that you shouldn't even contemplate co-sleeping for that very reason?

I think your instincts are spot on but maybe reassure her that it won't be the case forever. When a child turns 1 the chance of SIDS is massively reduced and as a parent you feel able to relax about a whole variety of issues...

HTH

OP you are definitely not being unreasonable in my opinion.

I am 38 week pregnant and while I've never been a smoker, the smell never bothered me too much.

However since getting Pregnant I have found the smell so sickening. I think it's my body telling me how toxic it is, and I am totally with you when you say you don't want your baby exposed to this, especially when it is first born and so sensitive.

My parents in law both smoke and I have told them that they can only hold the baby if they have washed their hands, cleaned there teeth and preferably are wearing something that doesn't reek of smoke. This is advice from my doctor so I have no problem enforcing it.

Yep, I've been told you can't wrap your kid up in cotton wool and they will be exposed to much worse than that, but to be honest where that may be true, I can certainly do my best, especially when they are so little.

I also think that anyone that gives a sh*t about your baby will understand your concern and will not get offended by what you ask.

Good on you.

annpann88 - afraid you are wrong, taxes raised on smoking outweigh even the most inflated estimates of the cost of smoking-related disease. Even if you pretend for the sake of argument that all heart attacks are caused by smoking, and all lung cancer, and all everything else you can possibly think of.

I know this because I was reporting for the BMJ when the smoking ban was working its way from an idea to actual legislation. I saw the detailed economic analysis drawn up by the Dept of Health and the chief medical officer, and got to question the CMO, and obviously talk to expert economists and the Royal College of Physicians and so on. Oddly enough they were terribly keen to avoid anyone pointing out this essential fact - but when challenged, had to admit it was true.