Smokers

[boredbuthappy]

My best friend is a heavy smoker and has not stopped going on about how she can't wait to babysit. I'm 37 weeks now and the reality of the baby coming has set in very well and I've realized (not that that I didn't know it before, but suddenly my instincts are much more prominent) that I do not want smoke, second-hand smoke, anyone smelling of smoke anywhere near my child.

I told her that I was not going to let her anywhere near the baby if she smelled of cigarettes even if it's ever so slightly. She was very offended by this and told me that it wasn't going to do the baby any good by "wraping him in cotton wool".

I'm just curious to know hoe other people deal with this issue. Have no doubt, I'm not backing down, my baby-my rules, but how do you keep people from deciding you are going OTT with the protectiveness??

When I first read that line I thought it meant that you only smoked when your son was in bed in his jacket/bubble thingy, like what Michael Jackson slept in (alledgedly).

Ha, no sorry to disappoint you

babies smell, i tell my friends to make sure that they haven't got a baby at least 20 mins before coming to my house

I want a fag now.

Yeah I think I might as I don't have my ds today!

hope you've got your smoking jacket on though

I have never laughed at my insistence that people that stink of cigarettes are not allowed near my baby. You won't want anyone to babysit for quite some time, be prepared for your friend to totally not get the fact that she stinks and you don't want her near your baby.

You're probably best judging the situation when it arises, ie after the baby is born and your friend has just had a fag and wants to pick her up or something. I had similar issues with my FIL. He always smoked outside, and I used to hate the baby being in the car with him when he's just had one, as the smell was terrible. But I put up with it as we weren't there very much.
The only time DH said something was once when he came in from having a smoke and straight away leaned close to the baby for a chat - that was too much.
Don't worry, you are just being protective of your baby, you don't sound uptight or anything as some others have suggested on this post.
Good luck

I don't think you're being pfb at all either....I made the same rules for all of my dcs.

it's not all about the dangers - it's just the smell is foul- would you be happy for someone with bad Bo to hold your baby.

before the smoking ban I loved going out for a night out then falling into bed in the early hours with red rimmed eyes from the smoke, trying not to boke when my head hit the pillow and the smoke stench from my hair hit me. My clothes, even the following morning would be reeking. What's not to love -and I didn't even smoke.

You all forget a big thing:

This "I cannot wait to babysit business" usually means a person will, in reality babysit once or twice. Or often never (esp.if you excl. BF for 6 months....). You'll probably be too tired to go out much.

You're so uptight and PFB.

Trying to control your PFB environment by insisting people that may be in contact with your baby do not even smoke in their own home IMHO is bonkers.

If, however, you find yourself in the situation where she regularly babysits, say two or three times a week, you should just be grateful as, like I said, that is actually quite rare

in real life.

Don't get fussed up over nothing. And breathe!

I gently.reminded my best friend that they shouldn't smoke before cuddling our very tiny new baby. She didn't mind in the slightest.

Why is it uptight to not want people to smoke before they cuddle a baby?

The argument that because there are other pollutants in our environment we shouldn't try to minimise/avoid the pollutants that we can avoid is pathetic!

And Rannaldini, I personally DO do what I can to minimise pollutants in my environment - e.g. we don't use toiletries with parabens/SLS, avoid phenylalanine/aspartame, we use reusable nappies so avoid those horrid gel disposables, we use reusable wipes, and we are vegan. I do live in a city where there are cars, I do take my child swimming in a chlorinated pool - the benefits outweigh any negatives, but I'll avoid pollutants where necessary. I am very happy being this way.

OP, good luck with your pregnancy - hope you work out what to do with your friend. Personally, no friend is worth jeopardising the health and comfort of my child. And my own comfort - the smell on smokers is vile.

if a person has a fag and is close with your child after an hour of smoking it isn't good for them. Maybe it is being a bit precious, but it is a fact

It isnt actually a fact. It is a claim, and there is no proven evidence of any dangers from 3rd hand smoke either.

If there was, it would be no more toxic than any other chemical that you would come into contact with on a daily basis.

Personally I like to live my life with a basic level of common sense, a cigarette smells disgusting, can cause hideous disease and stinks, it can even alter the brain chemistry. I choose to believe that causal links between smoking and SIDS and passive smoking and death asre pretty likely to be true. Based upon this and a distinct lack of evidence or funding to prove it either way, I'll play it safe. Besides tobacco companies are rich enough and needy enough to publish any evidence that says smoking is not harmful, but they don't.

When my lodger comes in the house from having a fag outside , the smell makes my eyes water...it's disgusting....and I'm a smoker myself!!!!
YANBU

Also I think that they still exhale carbon monoxide or some other horrid poison after they've had a fag ( i think)

Loves smoking. It might be socially unacceptable to some but I'd not give up. It's my choice, and my choice helps fund the national health service.

I'd love to see what would be done if we all gave up smoking. Tax on cigarettes come to around 80% of the cost of them.

Where would that money come from if we all gave up? Would you be prepared to fund the national health? That is what in effect smokers do.

One of my best friends decided this when she was pregnant. I smoke as do her mum and nan. It lasted about a week before she calmed down. We didn't smoke inside and certainly not while holding the baby and we did wash our hands after smoking though. Her baby is 2.5 now and perfectly healthy.

sharon2609 That is exactly what my midwife told me when I asked her the reasons why smokers should not sleep in the same room near new babies. Apparently smokers exhale carbon monoxide for some time after having a cigarette.

FabbyChic If we all gave up there'd be fewer ill people needing the services of the NHS, and the NHS would need less money. In effect, smokers fund their own NHS needs via the taxes on cigarettes.

YRNBU smoking stinks why would a non smoker be happy with a stinking smoker holding there precious baby! The problem with smokers is that they are so used to the smell they can't smell how much they reak

Loopy....ah that's alright then if you cuddle a week old baby stinking of cigarettes, that's great...you should be delighted with yourself.

You may be right Fabby, the tax from smokers is enormous....but against smoking education, smoke health downsides, picking up litter, cigarette n=bins etc....I wonder if we actually benefit.