bulling on mumsnet.

[threefeethighandrising]

Yes, this is a thread about a thread. Or lots of threads in fact. So shoot me.

I'm shocked saddened by the level of bullying that goes on, particularly in AIBU.

I'm not complaining about people speaking their minds. One of the things I love about mumsnet is frank exchanges, that people can say what they want.

What worries me is a nasty group mentality - people ganging up on a poster - usually a new one - and picking apart their story and being absolutely, unforgivably nasty to them.

We teach our DCs to stand up to bullies. Well, how do we stand up to these ones?

I've recommended mumsnet to many people over the years, as a place you can find fantastic support, frank and honest opinions. Those kinds of threads make me question whether this is a place I should be inviting any one other than those with a very think skin. Which is a real shame IMO.

I'm not really asking AIBU. I am asking how we can stand up to bullies on mumsnet. I've posted it here because it happens here a lot.

altinkum - at least the photocopier man did not call you a cow!

and well done for standing up to people!

KazBar, I think you've just been bullied

Yes YABU Kaz. You mooed at him. Stop trying to milk it

It's all water off a cows back to me really...:)

Soooooo late to this partay.

No, am not reading the whole thread.

I think there are a significant number of mnetters who are constantly in search of their adrenalin fix when they roam this boards, and because they aren't witty or smart enough, they get it by goading and winding people up.

It's just too easy for them to do it. Anonymous, and no one they know in their RL knows they are doing it. Cheap thrills for impoverished minds.

It's a basic flaw with the system. Not much one can do, which is why I don't really have such and issue with the self moderating that goes on. MNHQ can't be across everything.

I feel like there is a contingent fighting hard to the flame of true MN alive at the moment, but too many are losing heart.

Shame. Maybe the site will rally get get past the current slump. Hope so.

It is this idea that being offered the chance to banter, like you are being offered a precious jewel you should just not refuse

Sorry it just doesn't do it for me. I don't find it funny and I don't feel left out because I have no interest in being part of it. It feels, well a little juvenile to me.

Altinkum - how is your ds today?

Ok Rosie, that's fine - you do it your way, I don't think anyone has a problem with that tbh. Good Luck in you endeavours :)

Glad to hear it .

Weird thing - your thread about emergency GP appointments is not showing up on my Threads Im On. V odd. I definitely posted on it yesterday.

But no matter, just pleased to hear your ds is improving.

Rosie - I'm not one for mindless banter, either. I do sometimes stop and 'say hello' to a very few posters I really like and agree it can be tiresome when a thread is hijacked entirely by people mucking around (although, to be fair to them, they could be just trying to diffuse a nasty situation) - but if you don't like banter, then do just ignore it. Step over it. Don't worry about it.

Bibs is a moany old cross-patch

big fat raspberry

Sometimes banter is inappropriate and insensitive though.

Such as on this thread. It's nice that you're enjoying yourselves, but do you have to do it here?

Many people have said that they feel bullied, or that they recognise bullying on mumsnet.

But they have been told that (I am paraphrasing)

a bullying doesn't exist
b they must be being over-sentitive
c they should just fuck off to netmnums if they can't take it

and now you lot are blowing raspberries at each other.

Fair enough the bulling thing is aimed at me (not being paranoid - it was my mistake!) and I deserve the piss taken for that which I'm happy to take as it's actually quite funny.

But when people are saying they feel like they've been bullied can't you see that this kind of "mindless banter" belittles them?

This site is a poster case for 'group think'. It's quite pathetic.

Thrrefeet - yes, we have to do it everywhere or we would die of misery, horror and boredom.

Wouldn't you rather be a bit bored than hurt somneone's feelings?

Or do you really not care? Are you really that shallow?

I think the thread has reached its natural end.

If you'd taken the time to read my previous few posts, threefeet, you would see that I was posting in a thoughtful and considerate way towards roseability.

Unfortunately you cannot control what other people post on these open threads, so the best thing, surely, is to learn to live with your fellow Mumsnetters. Writing them off as a gang of bullies is never going to end well. By the way, you are beginning to sound more than a little po-faced and uptight now.

Threefeet, I never deliberately hurt someone's feelings. I don't see that having a little joke around in the midst of threads is hurting anyone's feelings, it is just like what happens in real life. It is how we, as humans, cope.

I have read back through the thread I was on about the mafia groper godfather, and sadly I seem to have been deleted ratther a lot so can't comment on what I said. But i will say that I can see why you think it wasn't very nice, I think I may have had pmt that day...But I genuinely thought the thread was made up, for a laugh, as happens a lot.

And you've made Bibs cross now. You don't wanna do that. She is a big ol scary.

I don't think it's po-faced or uptight to try to have a frank discussion about what goes on here, is it?

Sorry if I got your post wrong - I'm at college and haven't been able to read all the posts!

I'm certainly not writing all of mumsnet off btw!

But I've seen too much bitchiness recently to be able to be comfortable keeping my mouth shut anymore though.