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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wanting to get this teacher fired

690 replies

lividbeyondbelief · 19/02/2011 23:08

My dd attends a language class on saturday mornings in central london. This week due to horrible traffic we were 30 minutes late to collect her. We tried texting her teacher to say we were stuck in traffic but never got a reply. Anyway to make a long story short - she left my dd outside the school, alone with another boy, whilst she went out to go buy lunch. To make matters worse she told her to lie to us and say she was in the room next door if we asked where the teacher was when we collected our dd.

Our daughter was really upset and cried whilst being outside alone with this boy. My dh noticed she had been crying but the teacher just dismissed it, saying to dh she cried because he was late.

Obviously the bond of trust is broken and she wont be going back ever again. My question is what else should we do?

OP posts:
YusMilady · 20/02/2011 00:21

Face it OP, this is some ropy old Saturday morning language class, not Cheltenham Ladies College. Next time, pop round the corner to Costa for an hour or so (I'm still a bit unclear why your health should preclude you from any particular cafe). Don't drive off and get stuck in traffic - and don't call for someone to be sacked for your mistake.

JaneS · 20/02/2011 00:21

But Chipping, there's also a big difference between a qualified teacher in a normal school, and someone who is teaching language class on saturdays, isn't there?

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/02/2011 00:21

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PixieOnaLeaf · 20/02/2011 00:22

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elphabadefiesgravity · 20/02/2011 00:24

If this was my child I would be very, very angry.

I run children's classe on a Saturday morning and of course it is annoying if parents are late, however things happen occasionally.

My child protection policy states that I will ALWAYS be the last person to leave the building. If a parent is late then I will attempt to contact them on the emergency number, if I am unable to get in contact the I would try the alternate number (I ask for a granparents etc details. If still no joy then it would be a case of contacting social services etc.

I always make sure that I have food with me as I am aware that a parent could be late for any reason, in the past for example I have had a parent caught up in an accident or a car breakdown. In a total food emergency I would take the child with me to walk to a nearby shop. I would never even leave a 15 year old aone in the school, never mind an 8 year old.

Original poster
lividbeyondbelief · 20/02/2011 00:24

I didn't ring back because i thought she received my text and would be there with my dd at the school.

The putting a policy in place for the future is a good idea. At least for future instances. As for why no one sees an issue with her asking my child to lie - i am baffled.

OP posts:
curlymama · 20/02/2011 00:24

Fair point Chipping.

The way I see it is that it's entirely the parents fault though. Someone very close to me has a condition where if they they have to eat, they have to eat, or suffer consequenses. I know that may well not be the case here, but if it is, I would expect that person to do whatever they had to do to get food. If that meant leaving children whose parents were half an hour late to collect them, then so be it. Her health being affected would be a much bigger risk than someone taking the child.

threefeethighandrising · 20/02/2011 00:25

"And, excuse me if I'm wrong, but isn't it illegal for shops/cafes to not have disabled access?"

What a ridiculous statement.

So every cafe in London is fully accessible by every person with a disability, no matter what kind of disability they have? Perhaps (hopefully) we will get there one day, but now?

Get real!

GreenEyesandHam · 20/02/2011 00:26

This isn't the same as school, or school teachers.

If a private tutor came to your home, would you think it was ok to bugger off for a few hours and be half an hour late coming back and expect the tutor to still be there?

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/02/2011 00:26

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phooey · 20/02/2011 00:27

Haha! I'm Confused why you're so 'livid'.

You were 30 mins late to collect your child after a 2hr Saturday class. The teacher waited with your child, had to nip out for 10 mins to get lunch, left your child in the playground.

Is this really a sackable offence?!

As another poster said, plenty 8yos walk themselves to school. It was 10 mins, in a playground, you were late.

It is a major point that the teacher is unqualified, she's not in the 'teaching profession' as such, and even if she was, it doesn't make her a childminder and you were lucky she was around at all.

JaneS · 20/02/2011 00:27

So what did your text say?

You surely didn't text 'stay with DD I'm going to be half an hour late?' Confused

I can understand why you didn't call, because I do daft things too, but I'd be kicking myself if I just assumed a text like that had been received and it hadn't.

ilovesooty · 20/02/2011 00:28

The teacher had another class in the afternoon. You expected her to remain with your child at all times until you got there?

I think if I were the teacher I'd be delighted if you withdrew your child if you can't be more responsible. You didn't call her but you expected her to call you? And all this for a free service?

What kind of health condition meant you had to go to a coffee shop so far away you were at risk of not getting back on time?

YusMilady · 20/02/2011 00:28

Perhaps she asked your child to lie because she knew you'd go up like a Roman candle. Not saying that was right. Just saying. Do you often create a lot of fuss?

curlymama · 20/02/2011 00:29

Maybe the teacher was running late herslelf that morning and didn't have time to get food.

OP, maybe no body is taking as much notice of the asking your child to lie thing because it could very easily have been a misunderstanding. You didn't even speak to the teacher yourself.

Original poster
lividbeyondbelief · 20/02/2011 00:30

She told dh he shouldn't have been late, didn't get the text and that our dd was upset that we were late. Nothing about her having to leave her alone with the boy whilst pooping out to get food. But then again, why should she? She had already covered her tracks by asking dd to not tell us!!

OP posts:
JaneS · 20/02/2011 00:30

Btw, I know it's a fast thread, but I and I think someone else too have said that we do think it is very concerning if she asked your daughter to lie.

But I also asked about the circumstances because I wonder if you've got the right story here or if your DD garbled it (if the teacher was there when you got back, I wonder if it's not true she was only in the next room and your DD didn't understand that).

elphabadefiesgravity · 20/02/2011 00:30

I think the teacher sounds very unprofessional. She should plan for such eventualities.

If I did that I would expect to be disciplined by the organisation I am part of.

Ask to see the child protection policy.

Violethill · 20/02/2011 00:31

So... the bottom line is, you feel your child is too young to be left unattended (whether on the street or playground - you seem confused as to which!!) and she is the type of child who was crying and upset at being left.

Yet it still didn't occur to you to ring the tutor? You just sent a text, assumed it had been received, and didn't follow up with a call when you heard nothing back? Yet you feel the teacher should have called you?

As someone said earlier, if there was ever a time to make a phone call, this was it. You chose not to.

I think your behaviour as parents of a young child is utterly baffling.

Finally, I see no point in your having posted in AIBU, as you clearly have no intention of accepting that you are!

JaneS · 20/02/2011 00:32

Well, if she didn't get the text, isn't a qualified teacher and wasn't very far away for very long, the only real issue is the lying. What exactly happened here?

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/02/2011 00:32

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curlymama · 20/02/2011 00:33

She told dh he shouldn't have been late, didn't get the text and that our dd was upset that we were late.

She told your dh things that are all probably true then?

How rude of her! Hmm

Original poster
lividbeyondbelief · 20/02/2011 00:34

The coffee place we go to is 2 minutes away by car. Had we seen the traffic was this bad we would have stayed where we were, and my dh could have ran to collect her.

And no i don't normally create a fuss. I am just angry because my dd was quite upset this evening, thinking the teacher would punish her because she has told us what happened.

OP posts:
JaneS · 20/02/2011 00:35

How did your DD tell you she was lying? Did she actually say "mummy, the teacher told 'you must lie'", or did she say 'the teacher told me to tell you she was only in the next room and then walked off somewhere'.

hmc · 20/02/2011 00:35

There are some predictably rabid responses on this thread (zzzzzz)

No, you shouldn't have been late but I wouldn't be comfortable with the tutors actions either. I don't think you should push for the tutor to be fired, but i agree you shouldn't use her again. Clearly she realised she was acting inappropriately since she wouldn't have encouraged your dd to lie about her whereabouts otherwise