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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be sad at the "Aaargh, half-term" attitudes of some moms?

99 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 18/02/2011 22:33

Why can't they just fecking enjoy a week of just 'being' with their DCs?

I'm probably just judging by my own standards, but I adore having this time with my 4, and every holiday is just too short for our liking. I feel sorry that these people can't just enjoy this precious time, rather than wishing the week away.

(to clarify, all the moms that have moaned today, either are non-working moms, with no child care needs to worry about, or part-time workers with support from healthy grandparents, so please don't flame me about not understanding the juggling)

OP posts:

AtYourCervix · 18/02/2011 22:34

i lovd the holidays when the DDs were younger. not so much now they refuse to make playdough and watch disney movies with me

mitochondria · 18/02/2011 22:35

Yay for half term, I think.

But then I probably would say that.

(teacher).

Gleekfreak · 18/02/2011 22:35

You're right Chaos-am looking forward to some quality time with my gorgeous 3 having fun :)

Tortoise · 18/02/2011 22:36

I know exactly what you mean, why are school holidays met with negative remarks?
I too love having my 4 at home. We don't get around to doing much but it is nice to spend time together and time for them to play with toys that they don't normally have time to get out.

threefeethighandrising · 18/02/2011 22:36

Is it half term?

(Mum to toddler, I've got all this to come )

hardhatdonned · 18/02/2011 22:36

YABU

I say "argh half term" as it means i have to find a weeks worth of childcare. Sorry I am not perfect.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 18/02/2011 22:36

I "only" work 3 days a week, and "only" have 2 ds's, so I enjoy having the extra time with ds1 on my days off during school holidays.

I can understand how entertainng more children during bad weather or when money is tight can be hardwork and stressful, so I think YAB(a little)U.

maxpower · 18/02/2011 22:37

Ymight be a bitU - how do you know what their children are like at home? How do you know the parents don't have other pressures on them like ill health or other non-work related responsibilities that they have to manage?

hardhatdonned · 18/02/2011 22:37

(and sorry for not reading the OP properly!)

Carrotsandcelery · 18/02/2011 22:37

Chaos I feel the same. I love it when my dcs are off school. I am when they go back. No holiday is ever long enough.
I admit that by bedtime most days I am shattered and ready to see them sleep but I am keen to go again in the morning.

tulpe · 18/02/2011 22:37

YANBU
I really look forward to the holidays with DCs too.

Perhaps though if you have DCs who are just a 'mare from dawn to dusk then you would rather someone else were dealing with it?

manicbmc · 18/02/2011 22:38

I'm a TA. Yay for half term!

ilovemyhens · 18/02/2011 22:39

You shouldn't really judge.

I used to dread all the holidays with my eldest because he was so difficult to care for - subsequently diagnosed with adhd - not medicated - all the holidays and weekends were a miserable struggle and we never had any childcare from grandparents, or anybody else for that matter.

Life is a lot easier now that he's older and ds2 is a pleasure to look after in the holidays, so I do look forward to them now.

You don't know how much some parents are struggling at home and how stressful some children can be, in spite of effective parenting strategies. It's a hidden problem because of the shame and misery it leads to.

DerangedSibyl · 18/02/2011 22:39

I'll swap.

You come and do half term in my house, with a 7 year old with 3 diagnosed behavioral/neurological problems and asthmaand a 4 year old who is subsequently starved of attention (and also has asthma) and no fucking money, and I'll come you your house and do half term at yours.

deal?

Original poster

ChaosTrulyReigns · 18/02/2011 22:39

Yeah you're probaly right maxp, but these are friends of mine that I know well, and I'm pretty sure it's just a reaction to being with the DCs intensely for a week that's causing this attitude.

OP posts:

CoffeeDodger · 18/02/2011 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

ChaosTrulyReigns · 18/02/2011 22:42

Sorry, little bit of a cross post with hens and Sibyl.

I can see you have different circumstances than the ones I've encountered.

I'm sorry if I've touched on asensitive subject for you.

OP posts:

Booandpops · 18/02/2011 22:44

I like the hols except Christmas which is crap cos husband home for two weeks. Ha ha. Only half joking on that one!!!!

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 18/02/2011 22:45

well I tried not to think "arghhh half term"

Until 10am this morning (they broke up yesterday)..........and DS2 and 3 were already at each others throats........

I have to keep them from each others throats for a full week, with only one (possible - not 100% confirmed) trip out (and even that's nothing fancy) not much money - and try and keep my sanity........

DerangedSibyl · 18/02/2011 22:45

it's not that it's a sensitive subject for me, it's more that you clearly don't struggle with your children, and you should bear that in mind when judging those less fortunate.

Carrotsandcelery · 18/02/2011 22:46

Coffee That does sound a challenge. I feel for you.
FWIW my ds also has behavioural problems but I still enjoy spending time with him.

Beamur · 18/02/2011 22:46

Each to their own - no judgey pants for any Mums who feel differently, but I'm so looking forward to half term, I am a working Mum and have treated myself to a week off and am happy to be spending the week at home with DD.
Skint until payday, so its going to have to be cheap fun this week.
CoffeeDodger - that doesn't sound like much fun for either of you. What you both need are wellies and macs - then bad weather is an excuse to play outside and find puddles to splash in! Is there a swimming pool nearby? My DD (almost 4) can't swim yet but will spend ages splashing about and making herself nice and tired.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 18/02/2011 22:46

School is my break from my children - later this year it will (hopefully!) be work that's my break (plus school presuming I'm not working full time).

Vallhala · 18/02/2011 22:48

Great, a week of a destructive, challenging child with EBD, another who will wind her up, in a small village which boasts nothing more than a post office and a pub, with no support, no transport and one bus every 2 hours which doesn't run evenings or Sundays and which will cost us nearly £20 each time we wish to use it. Thanks for your understanding.

NormanTheForeman · 18/02/2011 22:48

I'm very lucky to have one well-behaved 10 year old ds. I love half terms/holidays because I get to spend a lot of time with him. However, I found these times very difficult when he was pre-school age, so wouldn't judge anyone who had several children/pre-school children/children with SN etc. I'm just lucky to be in the place I am with ds, and be able to enjoy him.

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