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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be sad at the "Aaargh, half-term" attitudes of some moms?

99 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 18/02/2011 22:33

Why can't they just fecking enjoy a week of just 'being' with their DCs?

I'm probably just judging by my own standards, but I adore having this time with my 4, and every holiday is just too short for our liking. I feel sorry that these people can't just enjoy this precious time, rather than wishing the week away.

(to clarify, all the moms that have moaned today, either are non-working moms, with no child care needs to worry about, or part-time workers with support from healthy grandparents, so please don't flame me about not understanding the juggling)

OP posts:

izzybiz · 19/02/2011 08:42

YANBU
Love not having to rush in the mornings!

NorthernGobshite · 19/02/2011 08:42

I love school holidays. I get my dd all to myself, rather than pushing her out of the door to school every day.
I am fecked off about half term this time as have no annual leave left so dh off with her instead.

BuzzLiteBeer · 19/02/2011 08:49

I said aargh half term this week. I'm ill, depressed and stressed and the routine is about the only thing keep me going.

So, er, bite me.

ledkr · 19/02/2011 08:51

Yeah i have often thought this.Even when i had 3 ds's all primary i looked forward to lack of routine,no homework,uniform washing and packed luch making.
Now have dd8 and dd 3 weeks i felt really relaxed last night for the first time since i gave birth me or dh do not have to do the school run or be strict with bedtimes.I have a lovely week planned with them.
Best bit is you can on weeknight

ledkr · 19/02/2011 08:54

Ah buzz.do you have to work too? I admit i have had a couple of hols when things not good and did have aminor arghhh.
Can you get extra rest by sticking them in front of the telly an art activty or such like?Hope its not too bad for you.

BuzzLiteBeer · 19/02/2011 08:59

I'm studying but not working. And they are little, so its hard. I'll manage, its just the idea of them not being at school (and they only do half days here, so its not like I don't see them) does not fill be with utter joy right now and its quite insulting for random netters to go on about how they feel sorry for such poorly-parented children.

Bogeyface · 19/02/2011 09:00

ALthough I like the holidays (if only because there is no school run, yaaay!!) I think YABU.

Some kids are just naturally bloody hard work, and when they are used to having the structure of a day at school, tend to be a it much when they are at home all day.

My youngest dd is harder work during the hols as she misses school, so being at home is her worst nightmare! She was sick on Tuesday morning and was sobbing her heart out. I thought it was because she was ill, but it was becasue she had realised she couldnt go to school!

And if you have a child that has their time filled with activities during term time then they will find down time quite hard to deal with. I have children of my aqcuaintance that will just sit and wait to be entertained and are constantly asking what they are doing next because they cant entertain themselves. I wouldnt look forward to a weekend with kids like that, never mind a whole week (or 6)!

Galdem · 19/02/2011 09:02

I like half term because I get it off, too 6and^ I have some help over the holidays from my DH and mum, who also have some days free.

But when I was working, it was nothing but one big childcare headache.

RedSnow · 19/02/2011 09:04

Usually I welcome the holidays but this time I am "argh! half term" because it is probably the worst week possible for them to be off school.

a) I am TOTALLY skint
b) I have 2 exams to study for the week they go back (yeah, like THATS going to happen!)
c) I have a presentation to finish due for two weeks time
d) I now have a university interview to prepare for.

So yeah, the kids being off school this week is far from ideal.

nymphadora · 19/02/2011 09:05

Dd2 gets v anxious over school hols and had started with the constant questions by 4pm yesterday. Got a whole week of this until she goes to her Dads at the weekend. It's nice having them off but her behaviour can be v draining :(

JoyceBarnaby · 19/02/2011 09:07

YABU, IMO - it's not just about wanting to spend time with your kids. Half-term can make life harder. I have a toddler (so no school worries yet) and I am a SAHM. At half-term, a lot of the things we like doing (toddler groups, clubs etc) don't run and the things that we can still go to, are often ridiculously busy (zoo, swimming, parks etc).

I find entertaining a toddler hard enough without these extra issues, I'm afraid!

RealityIsKnockedUp · 19/02/2011 09:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trefusis · 19/02/2011 09:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Hulababy · 19/02/2011 09:12

I love half term. I love all the holidays!

I am off work in the holidays and I love spending the extra time doing stuff with DD. We have lots planned this week.

JemimaMop · 19/02/2011 09:13

In your position, YANBU. However this will be the first school holiday that I have worked for almost 7 years (previous job when the DC were small was term time only) and I am not looking forward to it. Childcare isn't a problem as they have supportive local grandparents plus a brilliant, reasonably priced holiday club, however I still wish that it was me spending time with them. I am a little bit :(

Violethill · 19/02/2011 09:14

Depends on ones individual circumstances.

If you're a SAHM of school age kids, then obviously half term hols are going to be harder work than normal, particularly if you have a child with SN or challenging behaviour.

I'm a teacher and I love half term- because I'm only dealing with my own family and not the several hundred teenagers (including those with challenging behaviour etc) that I encounter on a normal day.

ledkr · 19/02/2011 09:18

library has free stuff,walks and cold picnic in the park are free too.Cuddle on sofa with them and watch a dvd?I usd to make the mistake of planning too much to do then one day they said can we just chill out and play here?DD wants a friend to play,swimming and to stay up late for a chinese.Simple pleasures haha.
I am on maternity leave but even when working i still found it a break from usual routines and i use the local chidcare club and just earned no money that week.

Deaddei · 19/02/2011 09:19

I love half term as I don't work school holidays.
BUT when the dcs were younger I found it difficult.
I would just arrange friends to come over and then get them to go to friends......but I just found it all so boring.
At least now at 14 and 11 we give them extra allowance and they make their own arrangements.

mamasmissionimpossible · 19/02/2011 09:23

I like the half terms when my dc's (3 and 5) are not fighting! I have planned some activities, in case they are bored. I'm lucky that they can entertain themselves for a short time (disclaimer: as long as they don't fall out with each other).

cory · 19/02/2011 10:15

I used to react like this. But then I realised that:

a) a lot of the mums who say this are just making conversation, it doesn't mean they are not capable of having a lovely time with their children

b) some parents are quite simply worn out: if the child is high maintenance or copes badly with a change of routine or off sick a lot during term time (as mine are) you can end up in need of a break- and that's not a break with more children around either!

walesblackbird · 19/02/2011 10:20

One 9 year old boy with teenage tendencies who wants to do nothing but play on his x-box. One 6 year old diagnosed with ADHD but with other problems as well. And one chatterbox 5 year old little girl. Oh, and a husband who works away from home, a father who has motor neurone, a mother who's waiting for a hip replacement, no help or support available - I can't wait!!

I do actually love having my children home with me, they're a pleasure to be with and I enjoy their company.

I also enjoy not having to get up at 6.30 every morning to ensure that my middle child gets on the bus to his special school. I also enjoy not having to make three packed lunches every day.

But, equally, it's exhausting and trying to find things to do with three children ranging from 9 to 5 is tricky. And costly.

Each to their own.

shimmerysilverglitter · 19/02/2011 10:23

I LOVE half term and holidays and this from someone whose kids are only in school in the mornings. I love being with my kids, we usually do a bit of an activity at some point during the day, no more than an hour or so then we go out, park, swimming, round the shops, walk the dog whatever and then just "be" at home together. I love it.

fartblossom · 19/02/2011 10:25

I like the lie-ins, I like not having to worry about if uniform is clean.

However, I dont like the non structure there is. I dont like the chav kids down my street being a nuisence doing things like chucking stones at my house, knocking on my door and running away, tapping on my windows and generally trying to make mine and other people down our street lives a misery. I dont like being bored all day (at least with the school run it gave me something to do), I cant do anything as I have no money to do anything and everywhere is busier and so much more crowded with parents who are lucky enough to be able to have fun-filled packed school holidays.

So I do have SOME positive things about school hols, but mostly Id prefer the kids to be at school. Although I can understand they do need the time off and at least its only a week this time.

However just cos Id rather it was term time than holidays does not mean I dont love my children.

Bonsoir · 20/02/2011 08:38

In our family we are all absolutely dead beat by the time the holidays arrive. The term time is really full on, with long days and a cram packed schedule for everyone. It's just lovely to (a) live at a more leisurely pace (b) have a change and do different things.

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