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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be sad at the "Aaargh, half-term" attitudes of some moms?

99 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 18/02/2011 22:33

Why can't they just fecking enjoy a week of just 'being' with their DCs?

I'm probably just judging by my own standards, but I adore having this time with my 4, and every holiday is just too short for our liking. I feel sorry that these people can't just enjoy this precious time, rather than wishing the week away.

Sad

(to clarify, all the moms that have moaned today, either are non-working moms, with no child care needs to worry about, or part-time workers with support from healthy grandparents, so please don't flame me about not understanding the juggling)

OP posts:
StataLover · 18/02/2011 23:27

I think half terms are great. I can kind of understand summer holidays when you have to entertain children for 6 weeks plus (although as working mum, it's different challenges) but I think the week of half term is fantastic!
(although don't think it's BU to dread holidays if you have reason to do so - I really feel for people in that situation)

I've lived in countries where they have really long summer holidays (2 months or more) but no half terms to break up the terms the way they do here. That drives me bonkers!

auntyfash · 18/02/2011 23:40

Oh I LOVE school holidays!!

Well,they're better than term time at least. No having to get up early, no having to scream like a bansheerepeat time and time again simple instructions such as ""put your foot in your shoe..PUT YOUR FOOT IN THE SHOE!!!! PUT YOUR FOOT IN THE SHOE NOW!!!!" ...well, I do have to do those things but there's no rush in the hols is there?

I don't enjoy the constant bickering, but I do love that my kids are far more chilled over the hols, so much so that in times of momentary madness I have considered home edding them.

If only I didn't have to work eh?

auntyfash · 18/02/2011 23:41

My striking out capability is shit.

auntyfash · 18/02/2011 23:41

hello

auntyfash · 18/02/2011 23:41

oooh it worked then!

Jareth · 18/02/2011 23:44

The only reason I love half term/school holidays at the moment is that the roads are blissfully quiet and I get an extra half-hour in bed.

pigletmania · 18/02/2011 23:44

YABU not all children are perfect prince/princesses. My dd 3.11 a has suspected SN (being diagnosed at the moment) and is a trantruming nightmare, we are walking on eggshells most of the time, even at night there is no let up, she sleep is dreadful. The only respite I get, is her 3 hours at pre school and relish that time to catch up on houswork and get a bit of sleep. I am dreading the half term, because its out of her routine, the behaviour will be even harder to deal with.

auntyfash · 18/02/2011 23:51

My ds has SN too (they are looking at HFA/AS) so routines do get pretty fucked up at end of term etc, but I find that it's the going back to school that unsettles him the most.

Xmas hols are the worst I reckon cos of the massive change in routine at home added to the excitement of Christmas, that and the change of year thing...they really mess him up. Like I say though, the hols are easier than the term times for us. I do understand that this is not the case for everyone though.

pigletmania · 18/02/2011 23:54

Auntyfash, the christmas time really ruined dd, she was starting to make progress before the x man holidays, and we were thinking great; after Christmas she seemed to go back to square one.

grovel · 18/02/2011 23:55

30% of the posts on here are negative. How sad is that?

BitOfFun · 18/02/2011 23:56

I really enjoy it. but only because dd2 goes to a fantastic out-of school club. If it weren't for that, it would be a nightmare, as opportunities to occupy an autistic child in a busy week when places are crowded are few and far between.

But with some structure in place, it is a joy, She is busy all day, and sleeps like a log.

Our half-term was last week, and it has been fab. Dd1 is still away on her skiing trip (paid for by her dad, yay!) and having a great time.

I've loved it. The relative absence of children is coincidental, but as I am confident they are both very happy and having fun, I have been able to relax and have a bit of a break from our routine.

pigletmania · 18/02/2011 23:56

I love my dd to bits, but sometimes I like that time to myself. All normal activities that you take for granted that you do with your dc in half term is 10x harder with a child with SN.

Amieesmum · 18/02/2011 23:58

I love half term and positively look forward to it :D I'm used to having to work full time and dd being in childcare during the holidays, but have been unemployed for a year due to dd's health.

Today was a teacher training day.

We walked the dog, then put our pj's back on, painted our nails, did our hair. Made cakes & scoffed them all while watching Dr who re-runs. (now everyone can tell me off for feeding dd crap, letting her wear make up & watching Dr who but we had fun so who cares!
However i'm totally blessed with dd, she is such a delight to be around (most of the time) bar having to have the telly stupidly loud so she can hear it.

I do understand people find it hard sometimes though during the holidays, it's an expensive time, and bored children can be irksome.

pigletmania · 18/02/2011 23:59

Grovel its not sad at all, its reality for a lot of people. Just because we feel that way does in noway reflect on our love of our dcs, try living a day with a child with SN and you will know. Parents on here with dcs with more severe conditions than my dd will tell you, life is not always rosey.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 19/02/2011 00:10

piglet - I know I should stop complaining and start enjoying it, feel stupid for complaining when parents of chilren with SN have it properly bad

pigletmania · 19/02/2011 00:14

I would love to do activities with dd, but most end in tantrum and me having to take her home.

pigletmania · 19/02/2011 00:16

I am hoping that this will not be forever, depending on what the dx is, I suspect that she has dyspraxia like me and with it comes the behaviour, but hopeing that once we get a dx we will know how to help her and stratergies to use, and a statement for when she starts school in september.

NormanTheForeman · 19/02/2011 00:16

I do think a lot depends on

a) the age(s) of your child(ren)

and

b) whether they have SN

I only have one ds who is NT. From my experience, half terms/holidays were quite difficult when he was young, but are a joy now that he is older. However if I also had younger children, I think I would see things differently (especially if any of them were pre-school age). Also if my ds (or any other siblings) had SN, that would also make life more challenging during holiday times.

So I am never critical of people who don't enjoy half terms/holidays, but rather, am grateful that I am in a position now to be able to enjoy them.

pigletmania · 19/02/2011 00:26

Yes Norman you are totally right too, dd is still pre school age and is delayed in her behaviour and speech, not in her intellect, she is very bright and when she is engaged she is able to learn so much, so she gets very frustrated and thats when the behaviours start as she cannot control herself. I am hoping also that as she gets older that she will learn to mangage it and develop better coping, so we can enjoy doing things together in the holidays.

Firawla · 19/02/2011 00:49

with preschool age the annoying thing about half term or holidays is that often their normal activities are not on and the other activities like soft play etc is more crowded than term time, so for that reason i don't really love half term although its not a huge issue or anything. when they are in school hopefully will be able to use it as a chance to do more fun things with them etc so would be a positive thing, but dont think i would judge those who find it difficult as obviously there must be some reason for that

ColdHeartedBitch · 19/02/2011 00:58

I fucking hate half term. 1 week before half term ds' behaviour starts to implode as routines in school are wound down, he just gets used to half term and then term starts. He can't handle the routine change (aspie), cant handle the lower levels of stimulus, I cant keep up with his input demands. His behaviour is irratic and unpredictable. And as he can up 6 or 7 times a night I also lose the time I get to catch up on missing sleep.

Love him to bits but 1 week half term does more damage then favours. However, summer holidays are a different matter as they are long enough to establish a routine. 1 bad week at beginning, 1 bad week at end and 1 bad week settling back into routines. 3-4weeks of routine and higher probility of enjoying time with him feeling happy and settled.

cece · 19/02/2011 01:10

I love the school holidays.

No school run
No after school clubs
Lots of time stretching ahead of us

Luckily my DC don't need 'entertaining' by being taken to soft play and other such things. They have never had this so don't miss it! Although this year I have merlin passes via my tesco vouchers, so will do a few days doing that later in the year

We hang out at the house, play board games, watch DVDs, play on the wii, go to the park, meet up with friends, have at least one PJ day.

The only thing I don't like is the grocery shopping but that is easily solved by doing an online shops during the school holidays Smile

sharbie · 19/02/2011 01:26

love love love the holidays

just a shame mine are getting so independent so don't see that much of them any more

justcarrots29 · 19/02/2011 07:29

I love having my daughter home - the holidays themselves are a pain because all of the toddler groups etc stop. There is always a lot of mess at home in the holidays!!

alistron1 · 19/02/2011 08:33

Love the holidays. Work in a school so it's bliss only having to deal with my 4 as opposed to thirty or so!!!

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