To be offended at being left out of sisters wedding

[MummyAnnabella]

She is getting married in summer and having one sister as bridesmaid. Other sisters two girls are flower girls. I am only remaining sister (no brothers) and neither I nor 3 children have any role at all. Am a bit pissed off!

Is she closer to your other sister?

Are you usually very close?

Do you think she is being super-traditional and not havng any married/mother types as bridesmaids? Any ideas why your children are left out? Seems a shame to me on the face of it.

YANBU if she was part of your wedding. However, if you ran away to Vegas and didn't tell anyone, then YABU. Even then, if you haven't got/been married, I would still expect to be involved if you're close. Need a bit more info really

She is prob closest to the sister whose 2 girls are flower girls. Same closeness to me and bm sister. I had all 3 including her as BMW at my wedding. Really only wanted one sister but felt unfair to choose one and def couldn't do two so had all 3 so they were all involved.

Am more annoyed at my kids not being flower girl or page boy than me being bm. Why have sisters two and none of mine. One of sisters kids was my fg so is on second turn while my dd has never done it as one sister married before she was born and other not likely to marry.

Is she picking the one who is "unlikely to marry"?

That might be why if so, if you're married then you've kind of "had your day".

I refused to have my sisters as bridesmaids as they were both married.

YANBU. She must have known this was likely to offend - you shouldn't pick and choose without good reason. She should have told you what her reason was.

Yes but unlikely to marry is 40 so I would have thought a little old to be bm and she was my bm with other 2 so has already had a day. Plus she is so not into dresses hair makeup etc so prob didn't care if she was asked.

I don't really want to be bm but can't see why my dd or ds aren't on the wedding.

ok this is how it goes.
"Sister, I am feeling a bit left out of your wedding. Is there any particular reason why none of my children are involved in your bridal party, given our other sisters are both involved in some way?"
"goodness me, sister, I just hadn't thought of it that way. Of course your (dd/ds) can be involved! why don't they join me as (insert appropriate role)?"
OR
"well sister, the reason I am not involving any of your family is as follows:(insert reason)"
Sorted.

Yes I agree I should have explanation. She e en had cheek to get me to go to 8 bridal shops to get her dress bm went to about half as was too busy and also as I said isn't into dresses whereas I am. I took dd with me every sat for months breastfeeding outside bridal shops! That is youngest dd btw not the 2 year old I would like to have been fg!

How old are your DCs?

Are your children upset by this?

her wedding her choice YABU.

enjoy the day without having the worry of a "role"

Off school I so agree but don't think there's any point as at one bridal shop she told me she was having other sis and said it's not meant to offend you. I said well I can't help but be offended and she said yeah I know I have 2 best friends and couldn't pick between them for bm so had neither just one sis. She said one of best friends got married and had other and not her and she was really offended and upset.

As I say it's more that no one from my family is involved than me in particular.

My mum said today she was getting a horse shoe for my dd to give and I told her I wasn't having a conciliation prize! This is my mums idea not my even sisters. I told my mum it was harsh to have sisters 2kids not mine and my mum just said let's not fall out! She couldn't been justify it!!

Does she perhaps feel you 2 year old however cute maybe overawed by the day. My 3 GD was a flower girl at my DD4 wedding and just froze and stood there shaking when she saw the size of the congregation.

So she has already explained that she hoped you were not offended.

You are coming across as very petulant and sulky.

Its her wedding, her choices.... get over it.

Ds 4 and dd 2 but v well behaved. Ds would love to be a page boy and yes dd may or may not perform role fully but my fg ( who is fg again here) refused to wear flowers in hair, had enough of photos after 5 min etc so to be expected.

They aren't upset but I feel we are totally excluded. Mum said today they are going to get photos taken between church and hotel and we won't even go to that as not bridal party. I don't mind that bit as happy to o to hotel and check in but just feel so left out.

She hasn't even asked me to read as a concilation prize!!

Love, what is all this talk of "consolation prizes".. its a wedding.. not a competition.

Maybe she doesn't want to fork out for 5 children to be part of the bridal party.

Maybe if she involved all the children on her side, she would feel obliged to have all the children on her DP's side, if there are any.

Maybe she doesn't see the point in involving a baby and a 2yo that won't know the difference and will be more of a hindrance than a help.

YABU, it's her and her partners wedding, they can do what they like.

Squeaky - she said it wasn't meant to offend but went to to agree she would be offended too!!!!

I know dd is 2 but honestly she's angel child and even if she didnt have her she could have had ds as page boy. I had a pageboy just to make my brother in laws family involved. He was crap but that's not the point!