Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider the dreaded controlled crying?

118 replies

wahwahwahwahwahwah · 17/02/2011 19:30

DS is 5 months old. He has been sleeping well up til recently (not through the night as he is BF so wakes up to feed)

When he gets tired he screams and screams and screams. No amount of cuddling will calm him down but there is nothing obviously wrong. He also does this in the night when he wakes up, screaming (not just crying but screaming) for hours at a time.

Me and DH are going crazy. Would WBU to try controlled crying? Does anyone have any advice?

:(

OP posts:
Panzee · 17/02/2011 20:22

I did CC and am happy with the results, but we did it at 18 months, and could tell the difference between "look at me" cries and "I'm in pain".
I remember about then he used to have what we called screamy cuddles, when we would just rock him in our arms, sing and shush him until he went to sleep, but he did put up a fight!

Panzee · 17/02/2011 20:23

I mean about 5 months or so he would do the scream to sleep thing.

MoonUnitAlpha · 17/02/2011 20:25

Is he overtired maybe? Could you out him to bed earlier and try to get longer naps in the day?

babylann · 17/02/2011 20:25

My daughter won't sleep if we are in the room. We distract her and keep her awake so it's actually more cruel to stay with her and try to "assist" sleep than to leave her to it. Luckily, it's always worked that she goes to sleep within 10-15 mins of us leaving her. We have been doing this since about 2 months, having spent all that time beforehand wondering whether it was healthy for her to sleep as little as she did. I think some babies are different and you should do what works for you.

planetalice · 17/02/2011 20:32

CCT worked for us but I realise its not for everyone.

I was ok with what we were doing I kept in mind why I was doing it and focused on the fact that a good sleep routine was good for baby and that I was not being selfish. But I have had friends who really have not got on with it, and they sat outside the room crying along with baby :(

I started CCT properly at 6 months when he went into his own room and have never had trouble with DS going off to bed he is 2 now and tonight after a book he pointed to his bed and said bed Mummy then zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and wont be a peep till the morning so I obviously am a fan of CCT :)

Next one coming in March .....you watch it be a little blighter sleep wise :)

Ginabraz · 17/02/2011 20:36

Controlled crying worked wonders for my boys, except when they were in pain. If he waking up in the night crying with a pained cry, take him to the doctor to see if he has an ear infection. Antibiotics will be the only thing that will ease the pain.

Original poster
wahwahwahwahwahwah · 17/02/2011 20:39

Moonunit I've just managed to get him taking longer naps in the day, he has about 90mis-2hrs twice a day, then usually sleeps about somewhere between 6.30-6.30 and 8.00-8.00

PS He already had the 4 month sleep regression which was nowhere near this bad. Lots of waking up, but no screaming...

OP posts:
sheeplikessleep · 17/02/2011 20:40

Worth trying Calpol - at the very least to eliminate pain / teething.

DS screams when he is overtired - like a very high pitched, shatter glass scream. Is it that type of scream?

Does he wake at the same time every night or different?

What is he doing with the rest of his body? Is he clenching his fists? Pulling his legs up?

Horrible for you all though.

Original poster
wahwahwahwahwahwah · 17/02/2011 20:41

PPS, I have now explained CCT to DH and hes not impressed at all...

He brought DS back downstairs, hes now not crying and watching the football

OP posts:
sheeplikessleep · 17/02/2011 20:43

awww, i remember those days. in our house it was one of those crap police car chase shows that ds1 always fell asleep to on daddy's lap.

so he is calming down in a different environment?

Honeybee79 · 17/02/2011 20:46

I don't really get what people mean by cc.

My DS is 4 months and has a meltdown when he's overtired. There's nothing I can do for him so I have a 5 min rule: if he's still crying after 5 mins then I pick him up. But he rarely is. He just needs to have a grumble before going to sleep. Have you tried this? I have no clue if that amounts to cc though.

ekkiethump · 17/02/2011 20:50

for the record am a complete fan of controlled crying. worked very well for us.

before you do CC though make sure there is nothing else wrong. if he isn't irritable during the day then not likely to be teething.
our DS did exactly the same thing - screaming for hours at night for no apparent reason. would only get 4-5 hours sleep per night. during the day he was an angel.
turned out he had silent reflux.
gavsicon worked really well but other treatment avaialble.
see your GP to make sure he hasnt got this.
if nothing worng would definitely recommend CC. dont think it is too young.

sheeplikessleep · 17/02/2011 20:50

honeybee - cc is checking on the lo at specific and increasing intervals. so cry for 3 minutes, check, then cry for 5 minutes, check, then cry for 10 minutes, check, then cry for 15 minutes, check ... you get the idea. until baby falls asleep. i don't think leaving a baby to 'grumble' for 5 minutes is cc. i'd have loved for mine to have been 'cry for 5 minute then sleep' babies :)

TragicallyHip · 17/02/2011 20:59

ekkiethump Ds wouldn't always be irritable during the day when teething. Majority of the time he was fine and would kick off at night so it's not always the case.

Original poster
wahwahwahwahwahwah · 17/02/2011 21:00

ekkie I've just looked up silent reflux and I guess its a possibility, but wouldnt it be present from birth? Hes only been doing it the last few days. Plus he sleeps okay during the day?

OP posts:
Original poster
wahwahwahwahwahwah · 17/02/2011 21:03

Half time and hes started again. He wants to watch the football?! Hmm

OP posts:
TragicallyHip · 17/02/2011 21:05

Like father like son eh!

LivingDead · 17/02/2011 21:06

I reckon there must be something else wrong, teething for example. My ds2 is lots older (15 months) but out of the blue did this for 2 weeks.

He had been self settling,if not sleeping through beforehand (would sometimes wake for a bottle,but settle again easily).

At the time it seemed like a change in his behaviour ,rather than a temporary blip, went on for 2 weeks (seemed longer). We had to pat and shush or cuddle to sleep, we used calpol/ibuprofen etc.

Towards the end I did actually try controlled crying, tbh I did it for one night, not even properly (I went in to pat and shush after an hour).

I was at the end of my tether, but controlled crying did not work. Shortly after he went back to his self settling ways and I felt shit about leaving him to cry that night.

If your dc has previously been self settling,or sleeping well then ime there is something wrong.

I do know what you mean, it's hard when they just scream and won't even go to sleep on you. But I don't think cc is the answer tbh, it's only worked for me once in a very specific situation (was more cio).

LivingDead · 17/02/2011 21:14

Have you tried calpol wahwah, like a pp says, teething pain isn't so bad during the day when there are lots of distractions.

I reckon my boys blip was due to cold+teething, 5 months old, too too little to leave the poor buggers to cry, not fair at all.

BrianAndHisBalls · 17/02/2011 21:19

second the reflux point - dd has/had it badly. Gaviscon (infant) in bottles can help and dr can give medication. The lying down can cause the acid to come back up and makes them scream.

Wwould get this looked into before doing cc.

MummieHunnie · 17/02/2011 21:21

I think that controlled crying was a huge mistake looking back. I would look at alternatives if I had more children. Reflux was a factor when I look back that hv did not take into account when giving me cc advice!

LiegeAndLief · 17/02/2011 21:23

Would second all the suggestions of teething. Dd was a terrible sleeper from 6 months onwards. I suspected teeth but wasn't sure as she seemed fine during the day and never responded to Calpol, teething gel etc. She is now 19mths and we have had a blissful period of good sleep which is now going to pot as her canines come through. Now that she is older it is very obviously her teeth keeping her awake and sadly Calpol and teething gel are still no help.

I'm afraid I have no advice, as I never found a magic bullet and have just suffered the sleep deprivation for the last year and a bit! I considered cc several times but never actually had the heart to carry it out. Now I'm sure she was in pain, I'm glad I went in to her.

MummieHunnie · 17/02/2011 21:27

Looking back, my dd1 was fine until about 6-9 months, then she moved into her own room and never settled until we put her baby sister in with her when the baby was about 3 months, she was fine then! I think it was lonlieness and discomfort looking back.

Original poster
wahwahwahwahwahwah · 17/02/2011 21:35

mummiehunnie - hes still in our room. we're planning on putting him in his own when we get back from holiday (2 weeks time).

I'm wondering if that might help if I did it now too? Going to move his bedtime forward to 6pm and try to make sure he has a bath EVERY night, give him a strict routine and see how he responds? I guess it would be better to put him in his new bed now, rather than wait til hes settled and risk making it worse again??

OP posts:
felicity10 · 17/02/2011 21:44

OP - sounds like you've been through the whole list of tools - gripe water etc.! I used to have all those weapons!

Have you started weaning yet, is he perhaps hungry - I'm sure you've thought of this, but just a guess! You never know, a little baby rice at supper time?