now seriously, I want you to consider....

[justanotherbloke]

this question....

as a woman, what is it that makes you think that you are by right a better parent than a man?

opps pressed post too soon

but...... I think that that would be best for my children and after all that is what is more important NOT what is best for me or DP.

i am BEST at breastfeeding....other than that DP has the upper hand

why would you think that we would think that?!

sorry just read the thread properly,my apologies.

still,DP and i would most likely have 50/50 contact,im a SAHM,so they would most likely stay here with me for sleeping mostly,BUT i would be happy for DP to be around in the evening for dinner,storys bath time etc.

however,my friend is trying to limit contact with her sons father as he is an abusive alcoholic,druggy,who only wants to see the child in order to 'win' the argument.and has never maintained a contact order,turned up when he is meant to,etc.
the courts however always rule in his favour as "the main concern is to maintain contact between the father and child"
so i wouldnt worry.

Responding to the OP, I believe my DH and I offer different things to our children, which is a good thing.

As an aside, I do, however, want to eat my teeth whenever someone tells me that babies "aren't interesting" before they're about 6 months old. And I've never heard a man contradict this - not that there aren't men who wouldn't, more that the men I've discussed this with must all be spectacularly unimaginative about babies. Even DH concurs to a certain extent. I've also heard some women saying this, but IME it's mostly men - some people clearly think you have to 'do' stuff all the time, and can't connect with this idea of just being with a baby.

having an IQ of 145 doesn't make you immune from being an idiot OP - being the sort of person that thinks it has any real bearing in a place like this rather highlights you as one!

In answer to your original question: the fact that women are naturally designed to provide both a place for the foetus to develop and sustenance once it is born has got to be an advantage in a pissing parenting competition. However beyond that I would argue that it is down to the personality of that person, male or female, as to their capabilities as a parent. Men are just as capable of being brilliant parents, but that doesn't neccesarily mean that they are as naturally predisposed to it as women are.

In answer to your second question: From personal experience - if the father bursts into his unwell son's bedroom (as it shrieks in terror) at 3am having consumed vast quantities of whisky, bellowing "if you don't shut that fucking child up I will shut him up for you" then chances are that he isn't going to be of any benefit to that child at that time. If he continues on that tack and also threatens the life of the mother, then chances are that they will both be better off without him. Don't tar all women, who prevent fathers access to their children, with the same brush. I would love for my son to have access to his father, if his father was an emotionally responsible person who could grasp just how damaging his behaviour could be. I'm not the best mother in the world, but I have given all that I could to my son.

< applauds asteria >