now seriously, I want you to consider....

[justanotherbloke]

this question....

as a woman, what is it that makes you think that you are by right a better parent than a man?

What Hecate said

OP, have you been spending too much time on AIBU? It's a ranty thread, so you're going to get the impression that all women ever do is stick on their judgy pants and rant about the perceived failings of their OH/ex/MIL!

Those of us who really appreciate our partners' parenting skills aren't posting on here about it

BoffinMum I think many men would have been better at BF than me...

DH looks after DD just as well as me. (Apart from the bf bit)

But he doesn't clean or tidy anything whilst doing it.

Thus I am better.

Yes.

It is so very different in every case that it is impossible to answer that question in any meaningful way.

There is no answer.

There is why ann stops bill from seeing his daughter

there is why john has moved the kids to australia away from lucy

there is why amy is in court again to stop frank from having unsupervised access

there is why grace is so pissed off that she is punishing jeff

etc etc

Talk about your impossible question!

Because some mothers are shit and some fathers are shit.

i dont think that at all. i would say that its dangerous to generalise. i know lots of really fantastic dads and 7 fantastic mums...

oh! I get it! you're an idiot.

I think it is easy to assume that someone is a good father/mother because they are trying desperately to see their child.

But if you get to know the family actually, it turns out the desperate parent doesn't give a stuff about the children, they were controlling/violent/threw things at the DC if they got in the way of the TV. It's not about seeing the child, it's about taking something away from the other parent and proving they are still in control.

I have no idea how often it is that someone blocks access to a parent for genuinely pile of rubbish reasons. But I suspect it's not very often.

To answer your question.... some parents, sadly, see withholding their children as a way to get back at the absent partner and hurt their feelings. The cliched 'pawn' in the game. I don't think this is exclusive to any one gender - everyone's capable of being petty and selfish in an attempt to hurt someone that has hurt them. And the disturbing pattern of crimes, such as the one the other day, where former partners go so far as to kill children is a particularly nasty example of when it is taken to extremes.

Very dangerous to generalise.

I know some great fathers and awful mothers.

And vice versa.

Im a guy and im going to get full residence of my 5 children because that is in their best interest and everyone knows it :).

OP what is your concern with mothers' instinct post?
Am interested as I never thought I had one, then recently realised that I did have one and it's spot on. Previously had thought I was a bit nuts of a worrier, but actually I was right. And have mets lots of mums who also say the same since.
But, can understand that it can come across as nuts excessive concern.

to serendipity: no, the question is worded that way because its my question...lol
we could ask everyone to answer your question though. i will go first. no. no i dont. lol

@shineoncrazydiamond. so all men are incapable of forward thinking? oh, and are all men stupid? if i had a bit less humour in me, i might have taken offence to that statement. i will just say, when it comes to forward thinking, show me a woman that can stand in the checkout queue in tesco AND get her purse out at the same time and I will yield to your claim lol x

shirleyknot, is there any justification for calling me an idiot? firstly, i have an IQ of 145, i am very clearly not an idiot, i find that people who make statements such as yours very clearly are incapable of engaging their brain before they speak... by definition, i believe the word is... an idiot

lol

oh, no wait, that's what you do to end every sentence lol

You're just stirring the pot, most responses have been "some mothers are good, some fathers are good" and your comeback to that is "I know loads of fantastic fathers and 7 good mums" lol

idiot lol

I am more fearless as a parent and am more in tune with my parental instincts than DP. He is a fantastic parent but really has had to work at releasing himself from his fears/anxieties to enable himself to parent effectively. DP very much looks to me to take the parenting lead and genuinely believes (much to my frustration and annoyance at times esp in the early days) that I just KNOW stuff, and I will guide him.

He's getting a lot better at trusting his own instincts but I do fear if anything was to happen to me DD's life would become much much smaller and he would try to be much more controlling of her to keep her 'safe' i.e. he would prioritise the relief of his own anxieties over making the 'best' decisions for DD. Plus she'd eat more junk food

@ladyintheradiator. have i generalised? i wasnt aware that i had. i cant find it...

i think i agree entirely and i applaud some of you mums here, clearly leroyjethrogibbs has her shit well and truly together... this might not read how it should sound but i wish more ex partners were like you.

What Hecate said in both of her posts, apart from the fact I don't have a man.

and I'm responding to you question OP re woman/man - not making generalisations about women and men!