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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in thinking that it is better to avoid putting shoes on your toddler?

34 replies

silverten · 16/02/2011 09:21

My DD has been cruising for months but has just started walking properly.

I used the soft leather shoes when she started cruising to stop her slipping on the floors, but when she started walking properly and the weather got better we bought her first pair of proper outdoor shoes.

DH and I quite firmly believe in not using these shoes unless she's walking outside, on the grounds that she will learn better balance etc. if her feet are not restricted. In fact we've had to ask our childminder a couple of times not to put her shoes on unless she actually needs them (apart from anything else they were bloody expensive and are prone to get lost if she is wearing them whilst sitting in a pushchair).

All the other babies we know her age have been dressed in first size 'proper' shoes since they started to crawl- they look very sweet but I rather suspect that these shoes are more about the looks than their function- but whatever- its not up to me what other people choose to do.

However I have been inwardly wondering if our attitude to shoes is unusual/bonkers. What do you think?

OP posts:

booandbump · 16/02/2011 09:25

I agree with you. I didn't even have the cruiser soft shoes as we had carpet. DD took her first steps at 1 and we bought her her first pair of proper shoes but these were only worn when walking outside.

I personally think it's a waste of money, time & effort putting shoes on a baby that can't walk yet.

reallytired · 16/02/2011 09:26

I agree with you.

My son only started wearing shoes at 24 months when his child physio recommended we get shoes.

DD started wearing shoes at 16 months and she took her first steps at 14 months.

Unless there are special needs it is silly to put shoes on a non walking child. However there are worse things to worry about. Ultimately if parents want to waste their money its up to them.

MorticiaAddams · 16/02/2011 09:26

YANBU. We didn't buy Puglsey and Wednesday shoes until the Spring when they would be walking outside.

The other reason is that I hate wearing shoes and put them on only absolutely necessary so wouldn't put them on a baby for no real reason.

Rebeccaruby · 16/02/2011 09:29

I can see your point, but would it not make walking outside a bit difficult, because they are suddenly having to get used to walking in shoes, and are more likely to fall over and hurt themselves on pavements, etc?

MamaChris · 16/02/2011 09:31

Why would you not buy shoes for a cruising/walking child? Do they only walk inside?

wolfhound · 16/02/2011 09:32

I agree with you. I only put both DS's in shoes when they were walking outside. They had absolutely no problem with walking in shoes outside (didn't fall down much etc.) I think walking around outside on pavements probably feels quite different to walking around at home on carpet anyway, so shoes are only one of many factors there. My two only wear shoes outdoors. So do I.

mamadiva · 16/02/2011 09:32

I know a few mums who say that babies don't look 'dressed' unless they have shoes on. I never quite got the point of it my DS wore socks when out or bare foot inside until he was 1 and even then that was only for outside.

He is now 4 and only wears shoes outside unless he really wants to wear them indoors but has to wear plimsoles at nursery. (because you can't wrestle a 4YO :o)

poorbuthappy · 16/02/2011 09:33

we used the cruisers to stop the socks from being lost...then they worked out how to take the shoes off and now we just lose everything!
Most of the time the twins are naked...

PoledrathePissedOffFairy · 16/02/2011 09:35

Well, my children don't wear shoes inside, and neither do we (saves muck on the carpets). However, my CM will often have shoes on the toddlers in the pushchair. When she's going to school, she needs the little ones in the pushchairs so they won't be late but then, if they want, the toddlers can get out to walk home (and stop to admire dead leaves, bugs, dogshit etc) when there's no worries about time.

There was one day where my CM had crossed a road pushing a double buggy. The driver of a car stopped at the traffic lights started honking his horn at her. CM was a bit and cross, as she'd crossed on the green man. Then she realised he was trying to let her know that DD3 had removed her shoe and lobbed it into the middle of the road....... {grin]

Original poster

silverten · 16/02/2011 09:46

Seems I am not completely eccentric in this, then!

I sort of have an ulterior motive for canvassing opinions. One of my mates has a daughter who has only just started to walk- in fact she's only just got the hang of crawling, much to her mother's chagrin- but has been put in proper shoes for a month or so, mainly because her mum found them in an outlet store at a bargain price (I know this because she told me!). They are really quite big and it is quite clear to me that the child is struggling to pick her feet up in them- presumably because of the weight and size.

My first impulse was to keep my gob firmly shut but having watched the poor child trip and struggle I am now wondering whether to say something...

OP posts:

duchesse · 16/02/2011 09:48

My dd3 (17mo) is still in bobux-type things although she's been walking for six months (more like 9 or 10 months if you count walking holding onto things). She owns a pair of wellies for puddle-splashing and the rest of the time I feel no need to put her in shoes. It's not as though she's crossing fields of broken glass daily- most of the walking she does is in flat smooth shopping centres or flat smooth indoor floors. I will wait until she's about two I think to get her proper shoes- no need to rush these things.

Al1son · 16/02/2011 09:55

silverten I'd go with the keeping your gob shut option. She'll develop the skills to manage in the footwear they provide and will soon be walking around just like all her peers.

Unless you think you can get this mum to change her attitude to children's shoes completely and start going to Clark's then you'd be wasting your breath.

ScroobiousPip · 16/02/2011 10:00

Yes, the English attitude to shoes does seem a bit odd to me (and I speak as one with an english ex-DH who would happily only take is shoes off to go to bed).

Over here (NZ), far more children and adults walk around barefoot - it's not totally out of the ordinary to occasionally see an adult walking barefoot in the city centre and most children kick off their shoes in the playgrounds and parks.

I get that the weather is not so good in the UK, so shoes are needed for warmth some of the year but don't get why you see toddlers running round in clumsy sandals in their own gardens in the height of summer. It does seem a bit weird to me.

ScroobiousPip · 16/02/2011 10:00

Should add - in case my comments seem disparaging - that I am English. Still think it's weird though!

TattyDevine · 16/02/2011 10:07

OP, you sound judgemental and precious to me, having read your further post. Am I the only one who can see this?

Dont say a word to your friend, I dont see the relevance of where she got the shoes or how much they cost. I'm guessing you are a Clarks only parent, is it your first child by any chance?

Keep your beak out.

YABU.

aPixie · 16/02/2011 10:07

I agree.

Ds1 started walking at 13months. We bought his first shoes at 15months.

He's 22months now and only wears shoes when walking outside. Even if he's in the pram, I throw the shoes under the pram and only put them on if he's getting out to walk.

If nothing else, they are bloody expensive.

LaWeaselMys · 16/02/2011 10:09

It really isn't going to make that much difference. Maybe it will take her a bit longer, but it's not going to destroy her feet or stunt her development. She will be FINE.

And I am from NZ and joyfully get rid of my shoes at the smallest opportunity!

superv1xen · 16/02/2011 10:12

no, DD is 19 months and still only wears shoes when walking outside.

did the same for DS as well.

plus in my experience, the little buggers delight in taking their shoes off and throwing them when they are in a buggy

nickytwotimes · 16/02/2011 10:13

yanbu

ds1 got shoes when he was walking outside. bought him the pricey ones, but ds2 will be getting asda/brantano/whatever tbh.

BornToFolk · 16/02/2011 10:14

Tatty, I agree.

OP, your friend probably knows her child best. Keep your nose out.

everythingchangeseverything · 16/02/2011 10:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

silverten · 16/02/2011 10:54

Yes on the whole I think I will continue to keep my gob shut. Tis not a major problem and not worth risking falling out with someone over. However it is nice that no one has popped up and suggested an excellent reason why shoes might help a child to walk, so I am reassured that my decision to keep my daughter out of shoes when she is indoors isn't doing her any harm.

So much aggression from a couple of folk! Amazing what people can assume about me from so little information...

As a matter of fact: the relevance of mentioning the shoes' origin was simply to do with the mother having said to me that she knew daughter didn't need the shoes but that she thought she'd snap up while she had the chance. I can go with that reasoning- I regularly do the same sort of thing myself. We were talking about the best places to buy children's shoes- neither of us have a problem with buying cheap/discount/outlet and we regularly compare notes on where to get the best bargains for kids stuff - but I can see why it looked like I was casting aspersions on this.

What I wouldn't personally do is use said shoes before they were required, regardless of their origin or price. I should probably have been more explicit about that- or skipped the mention of the outlet bargain.

Tatty/BtF: I don't seriously expect you to change your opinion of me but perhaps you might not be tempted to jump to quite so many conclusions about people on future threads?

OP posts:

BornToFolk · 16/02/2011 10:56

smashingtime · 16/02/2011 13:01

My 3 year old dd has physio and we have been advised to keep her barefoot as much as possible to help strengthen feet and develop muscles. This is not just advice for my dd - she said all children should wear shoes only when outside while their feet are developing!

Perhaps I would be considered judgey too but I did see a toddler girl in knee high boots the other day and she couldn't walk in them properly. I did raise an eyebrow as to why you would want to do that to your child

truthisinthewine · 16/02/2011 13:28

Depends in any health issues you might not know about. My little girl was advised the wear very firm ankle boots when she was barely cruising. She has a condition which means her ankles cannot support the rest of her body and collapse completely without support. To anyone who didn't know of her condition it would have looked ridiculous for a just cruising toddler to have such shoes on. But in the time it took for her orthotics to be made she needed to wear something to support her joints.

I would be very wary of what anyone does with their child unless you are certain you know exactly why they have made the decisions they have v

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