Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Full school bus so DS sent in parent's car.

125 replies

Condensedmilkaddict · 15/02/2011 10:42

Would you care?

He is 13, and was at school sport training, but the bus was full, so had to go in a parent's car.

I have never met the other parent. And am obviously grateful he wasnt left there!

But a bit at school...Thought they would have had to get permission for that?

OP posts:

ashamedandconfused · 17/02/2011 12:20

what about the legal protection of the volunteer driver - yes I do think they should be CRBd and have shown their insurance docs to the teacher, that should be standard practice IMO, it is at our school

especially in this age where everyone sues everyone for as little as a broken finger or the trauma of being involved in a minor (no injuries) RTA......

would also be very interested to know whether the OP had been asked to PAY towards the transport/coach? if so the legal situatuion becomes evem muddier with regard to the other parent even if they recieved no money

Niceguy2 · 17/02/2011 12:21

do those who are poo-pooing our concerns never see other parents driving really badly? or while on the phone, even with their own kids in the car? you see kids not even fastened in and bouncing all over the place with the music blaring!

Yes I do. All the time. And yet I still let my teenager walk to school everyday. Even in the rain because that's the uncaring abusive parent I am! Oh hang on wait...perhaps its because I'm trying to raise a child who can stand on their own two feet and one key component of that is that shit happens and you have to adapt.

When my DD was a toddler and fell over, i unreasonably expected her to get up! Someone call Childline!

Legally, both the school and this other parent could have ended up in a huge mess if anything had happened.

Why does everything have to default to what if something happened and you get sued? Whatever happened to people helping each other out? When a child ran into mine at school and almost knocked him out, I didn't think to sue school for failing in their duty of care. Because shit happens and it was an accident.

No matter how well you plan things, things go wrong. Like I said earlier, poor planning on school's part but common sense was used and no harm was done.

If that's all you have to worry about in life then I'd like to swap lives.

ashamedandconfused · 17/02/2011 12:26

nice guy, a child running into yours at school is not at all the same as the legal consequences of an accident where school sent your child home in someones car without your permission, unless you had asked them NOT to let your child play out, of course!

ragged · 17/02/2011 12:29

Would not bother me.

SoupDragon · 17/02/2011 12:32

"nice guy, a child running into yours at school is not at all the same as the legal consequences of an accident where school sent your child home in someones car without your permission, unless you had asked them NOT to let your child play out, of course!"

Personally, I wouldn't give a shit about the legal consequences, I would be far more concerned about my child.

SoupDragon · 17/02/2011 12:34

Had Mrs X not driven the extra children back to school, they would simply have had to wait at the training ground for the bus to return for them making them late back to school.

Niceguy2 · 17/02/2011 12:38

It is a valid comparison because at the end of the day, once you drop your child off at the school gates, you are in effect allowing the teachers to act in Loco Parentis.

That means teachers are responsible for your kids and can make decisions as they see fit. They of course are responsible for the decisions they made.

So they don't legally speaking need parental permission at all to make alternate arrangements to send your child back to school and at all times remain responsible for them.

At the end of the day you either trust the teachers to make sensible decisions or you don't.

If you don't then homeschool. You cannot give someone the responsibility without the power.

Pancakeflipper · 17/02/2011 12:41

Wouldn't be an issue for me once in secondary school. I'd be happy they ensured my kid returned back to school and be pleased a parent was thoughtful and kind enough to assist.

Though having read the doom and gloom reasons to why it would be wrong for a parent to give a 13 yr old a lift on a school event. I think need to stop living in my happy-la-la world and see the pitfalls to everything in life. There's risks everywhere, amazing we don't bubblewrap ourselves.

EditedforClarity · 17/02/2011 12:41

I have teenagers. I wouldn't be cross.

'At least it wasn't a DD being given a lift by a father. Then I'd be absolutly fuming'.

Jeez.

DuplicitousBitch · 17/02/2011 12:43

as long as the child in question was in full body armour and had a taser i don't see the problem

ashamedandconfused · 17/02/2011 12:45

niceguy - I am actually a teacher though, and there is no way in the world i would have done this, seriously, because we do live in a society that sues over everything and wants to allocate fault, so you have to play by the book no matter how ridiculous some of the rules are

soupy - yes of course you would be most concerned about your child, but sometimes there are terrible consequences of accidents and legal/money matters do come into play

Maryz · 17/02/2011 12:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz · 17/02/2011 12:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Niceguy2 · 17/02/2011 13:02

I am actually a teacher though, and there is no way in the world i would have done this...

That's fine since you are held legally responsible if something went wrong, its only right you make the decision.

But as many people here have pointed out, there's absolutely nothing wrong and no harm has been done.

If you want to personally live in a cotton wool world where you expect other drivers to be CRB checked, proof of driving eligbility and fully insured to give a 13yr old child a lift back to school as a one off, then thats fine. But at least understand that most of us don't want to live like that.

bonkers20 · 17/02/2011 13:23

I have a nearly 12 year old who has just started secondary school. I would care enough to want to know more about the situation i.e. was this a parent helper for the sports event or just some random parent who happened to be at the sports field?
Was it an arrangement made by the teacher ie did the teacher inform the parent to go directly back to school? Were there other children in the car?

Yes, it's nice of the parent and probably all above board, but I would want to know enough to remove that element of doubt from my mind.

They are still children and the responsibility of the school at that time.

Maybe there's a big difference between 11 and 13 though. I'd certainly expect my son to get confirmation from the teacher that it was OK to go with this other parent and that's what I'd ask him about.

If it was all above board then no problem, but yes I would check with my son. This would also serve as a reminder to him to be wary of who he gets into a car with.

seeker · 17/02/2011 22:13

'At least it wasn't a DD being given a lift by a father. Then I'd be absolutly fuming."

Please tell me this is a joke!

shockers · 17/02/2011 22:41

Oh dear... schools are buggered for sports trips and otherwise now the government cuts are in full force. If parents who are able, and bothered to turn up and watch aren't allowed to give children lifts back to school, the schools will have to hire coaches (which cost a fortune )so, just like activity trips (which are now cost prohibitive due to insurance), children will miss out.

It just feels like we all need to have a little common sense over things like this. If the school trust this parent and it's a relatively short journey then you should be glad that another parent is willing. I regularly 'jig' my hours at work to take my son's friends to and from sporting events....

However, the school don't allow me to transport my own child because, if I were to be involved in an accident, I might try to save him first, even if another child was more in need. I don't suppose the parents of the children who are never taken by their own parents (due to work commitments) would know this.

usualsuspect · 17/02/2011 22:43

Can't see a problem

TrappedinSuburbia · 17/02/2011 22:57

I'd be grateful for the lift, but annoyed at the school for not making the proper arrangements, what would have happened if the other parent hadn't been there to give a lift? And if there wasn't enough room on the bus, how did they all get there in the first place?
Or is that the reason the parent was there?

nomorefrizz · 17/02/2011 23:06

I am surprised that very helpful parent did not get your child to call you just to tell you whats happening. I would always at least try to contact parent if I were in her situation- and have been. I dont blame helpful parent at all school should also have tried to ring you.

cat64 · 17/02/2011 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cory · 17/02/2011 23:40

I had a 13yo last year and I don't see the problem.

Don't get the "If the other parent had not been available, what would have happened"-thing either. Surely the 13yo could have waited at the sports place, with a friend for company, for the bus to come back for them? If there was no suitable public transport, that is.

HowBleddyRude · 17/02/2011 23:55

I still don't understand how they got all the pupils there in the bus but needed a parent to help get them back.

Did I miss that explanation?

cat64 · 18/02/2011 00:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

HowBleddyRude · 18/02/2011 00:27

Godammit! I read the whole sodding thread and still missed that info

Thanks cat64

Flip

1 2 3 4 5