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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Full school bus so DS sent in parent's car.

125 replies

Condensedmilkaddict · 15/02/2011 10:42

Would you care?

He is 13, and was at school sport training, but the bus was full, so had to go in a parent's car.

I have never met the other parent. And am obviously grateful he wasnt left there!

But a bit Hmm at school...Thought they would have had to get permission for that?

OP posts:
seeker · 15/02/2011 15:03

If the parent hadn't been willing to take him, a member of staff would have given him a lift - they weren't going to leave him there!

And as for transporting him properly - presumably he wasn't on the roofrack....!

BeribbonedGibbon · 15/02/2011 15:06

Yes but seeker, the world, and all that lives in it, is evil [deadpan]

seeker · 15/02/2011 15:08

Ooops, sorry, forgot.

gobehindabushfgs · 15/02/2011 15:10

oi, I do NOT suffer from peeeedo-mania, nor am I particularly protective

I would hope that at 13 my children would be fairly resourceful

BUT not all children ARE used to fending for themselves, whatever we may think about that

and I think the school should bloody well do what it has undertaken to do and not cock up simple things like number of children to be transported

if they had told OP that her son may not have a space on the bus, she could have sorted it out herself.

BeribbonedGibbon · 15/02/2011 15:12

Some threads are like wandering into a parallel universe.

gobehindabushfgs · 15/02/2011 15:14

well, in a way, threads ARE parallel universes

or the crossing of many parallel universes

we all make assumptions about other posters that turn out to be bullshit Wink

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 15/02/2011 15:20

Didn't the school just make a mistake. To err is to be human and all that... Yes, not ideal, but NOT life threatening. And looking at some of the school minibuses around, he was probably safer in a private car.

The boy was 13, in three years he can get married and legally have his own kids. Surely at 13 he is capapble of having a lift off another parent. My son at 13 was, and he is by some miracle still alive at 22.

BuzzLiteBeer · 15/02/2011 16:58

I'm adding up the paranoid parent/ over-reliance on rules / who can I blame threads to remind why I'm glad I don't live in the UK. I'm on about 426. They almost always contain the phrase "CRB checks".

Thats a YABU in case its not clear.

IloveJudgeJudy · 15/02/2011 19:19

What a storm in a teacup! I can't believe the Op is even posting about this. If I were her I would just be grateful that I didn't have to come and pick up my child myself. That's what would happen if the minibus is too small to take all the children. The child is 13, not 3, as others have said and I should have thought a 13-year old is old enough to stick up for themselves. If not, unless SN, why not? We as parents are there to teach our children how to be independent people. When I was at school we quite often had to walk places in a crocodile, even at senior school.

So, yes, OP, YABU.

exoticfruits · 15/02/2011 19:21

I really can't see the difficulty, I presume that there was at least the parent's own child in with him, if not more. What was the problem? It seemed that a mistake happened, they do sometimes, and common sense was used.
I don't expect that the 13yr old had the least problem with it.

TheFallenMadonna · 15/02/2011 19:26

I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

maryz · 15/02/2011 19:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RustyBear · 15/02/2011 19:27

If the children were dropped off by their parents, it's just as likely that it was parents who made a mistake as the school - entirely possible that some of them forgot to return their slips saying their children would be going and then dropped them off anyway.

toeragsnotriches · 15/02/2011 19:40

Well I'd be annoyed with school.

But he'd be safer in another parent's car than in an overcrowded bus.

52Girls · 15/02/2011 19:47

He's chuffin 13!

Hahaha! - Priceless.

Yep. YABU.

maryz · 15/02/2011 19:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exoticfruits · 15/02/2011 22:06

If I was a parent who kindly offered to fit a 13yr old in my car, to help out, I would be a bit Shock and Confused if the parent complained-not to say deeply offended.
I would feel like going around and saying 'what do you think would happen, that wouldn't happen with a minibus driver?'!

mumeeee · 16/02/2011 00:00

Yabu he is 13 and a parent bought him nack.

Teenybitsad · 16/02/2011 00:08

I would be ok...he's 13...I was once sent home with another parent for an entire day when I was 10...it had snowed and my Mum was in work. They wouldn't even have considered phoning her in those days.It was all "Oh you live near so and so...maybe her Mum can take you?" and she did.

I think we all worry a bit too much.

ashamedandconfused · 17/02/2011 11:50

do those who are poo-pooing our concerns never see other parents driving really badly? or while on the phone, even with their own kids in the car? you see kids not even fastened in and bouncing all over the place with the music blaring!

hell would freeze over before I let school send my kids home with our neighbour for example - she is a lovely friendly lady to talk to but she drives like a lunatic and is ALWAYS on the phone at the wheel. Makes me feel sick to think about it.

would a 13 yr old be able to challenge a parent who was "doing him a favour" if they were on the phone while driving? I think not.

what if the driver is one of the many idiots who dont even have a valid licence/MOT/insurance - there are 1000s of them on the roads every day!

for school to phone me and say is it OK for X's mum to drive DD home today? - fine if I know X's mum and can make a judgement. If i didn't know them from Adam i would make my own arrangements, 13 years old or not - this is my childs safety we are taklking about here, and I will not trust them to any tom dick or harry

darleneconnor · 17/02/2011 12:00

Legally, both the school and this other parent could have ended up in a huge mess if anything had happened.

The school most certainly did not provide your DS with the reqired duty of care.

Have you made/intend to make a complaint?

At least it wasn't a DD being given a lift by a father. Then I'd be absolutly fuming.

Libra · 17/02/2011 12:03

Can I ask how many of the people who would be cross about this actually have teenagers?

They tend to make this sort of arrangement all the time without asking you or even telling you. You think DS has gone into town and will be back on the bus, but then you get a lift saying that he's bumped into X and is going to the cinema with him and then X's parent is picking X up and will drop you off. Most of the time you have a vague idea of who X is and have never met the parent. All you do at that stage is ask whether it will be too far out of the way for X's dad, and thank him profusely when he drops DS off.

And pray that it is not X's big sister (passed test Tuesday, very excited at first trip out alone) driving.

And to be frank I would not be happy to be dragged out of work meeting or this morning's lecture to be asked whether or not my 13 year-old could get into that car.

Libra · 17/02/2011 12:04

'then you get a phone call' - sorry

ashamedandconfused · 17/02/2011 12:10

kids social lives are different from school-arranged events though - the SCHOOL were responsible for this child and cocked up. Not only in not having suffiecient transport laid on, but in not OKing the arrangements with the childs, yes CHILD's, parent first.

darlene is spot on, there could have been huge legal implications here

as a Guider i would never ever send a child home with another parent - and on one occasion where a parent forgot to tell me someone else was collecting their Dc i rang them to check before handing the Dc over to the person who came for them!

SoupDragon · 17/02/2011 12:13

Oh for the love of god, what is the world coming to?

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