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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Full school bus so DS sent in parent's car.

125 replies

Condensedmilkaddict · 15/02/2011 10:42

Would you care?

He is 13, and was at school sport training, but the bus was full, so had to go in a parent's car.

I have never met the other parent. And am obviously grateful he wasnt left there!

But a bit Hmm at school...Thought they would have had to get permission for that?

OP posts:
BettyDouglas · 15/02/2011 11:16

crb checks are definitely not neede for a one-off lift.

I wouldn't be worried about my child in these circumstances but I would be worried about the schools lack of forward planning. What would they have done if another parent hadn't been available?

Teachers are bound by stricter rules for this including insurance and safeguarding policies even if they are OTT, they are there to protect both the teacher and the pupil. Teachers are now told not to be in a car etc alone with a minor unless an emergency arises.

So...I would be grateful for other parent etc and not uptight about lift as in 4 or 5yrs they are going to be in cars with peers who are statistically far worse drivers than most parents.
But I would ask school what happened.

Original poster
Condensedmilkaddict · 15/02/2011 11:17

It wasn't preplanned.

Mrs x just happened to be there watching the training...

Also, they weren't coming home- they were being taken back to school.

I am very grateful to her, but also interested to know what would have happened if she wasn't there!

OP posts:
Original poster
Condensedmilkaddict · 15/02/2011 11:19

Sorry Betty - we cross posted.

I wasn't trying to repeat everything you said! Grin

OP posts:
caughtinanet · 15/02/2011 11:20

Your point about what would have happened is the most valid one but maybe Mrs X was there for that purpose.

jeee · 15/02/2011 11:23

I assumed that it was planned, as this happened at my DCs school. If it wasn't planned, and the school didn't know if a parent would be available, then yes, there is a problem.

But how did the children get to the training in the first place, in that case?

mrsscoob · 15/02/2011 11:24

how did he get there in the first place?

crystalglasses · 15/02/2011 11:24

Unfortunately giving a lift to a child without the parent knowing about it could lead to difficulties. I once gave my dd1's friend a lift home without a thinking about it. Luckily there were no repercussions from the parent, who probably didn't know about it, but should I have had an accident I can see I would have been in deep shit

Memoo · 15/02/2011 11:27

I have now had my worse fears confirmed. The world has gone crazy. A teenager can't even get a lift from his friends parents!

Original poster
Condensedmilkaddict · 15/02/2011 11:28

Parents drop the kids off at the rec centre instead of school first thing in the morning.
They train, and are then brought back to school on the school bus. Apparently.

OP posts:
olderandwider · 15/02/2011 11:35

memoo - totally agree. Storm in an egg cup.

Bramshott · 15/02/2011 11:36

So, I think YABU to worry that anything could have happened to him, or that you didn't know the parent etc.

But YANBU to worry about why it happened, and what would have happened if Mrs X hadn't been there with her car. Would they just have left him behind?!

BettyDouglas · 15/02/2011 11:38

The lift itself is no biggie, I agree. But schools can't operate a system like that. If they'd agreed beforehand that this parents would take a child then that's fine but if they were just lucky that she was there then there's a problem going on with their risk assessment/planning.

And before I get jumped on for mentioning RA, it is a legal requirement for every trip out regardless of how minimal the risk is.

Niceguy2 · 15/02/2011 11:38

FFS really?

I agree with whoever said at 3 its an issue, not at 13!

Yes poor planning by school but they improvised and came up with a sensible plan.

And for those who instantly thought of CRB checks need to simply get a life.

seeker · 15/02/2011 11:40

This "how good a driver are they?" question.

How do you usually check whether the people who give your children lifts are good drivers? If X's mum rings you up and says "You know Y's party on Friday? Could you take my dc with yours and then I'll pick them up and drop your dc home?" do you ask them to do a driving test first?

TurkeyBurgerThing · 15/02/2011 11:42

I'd have been furious. There's a 83.6% chance that parent is a paedophile.

Then again how do you know the school even CRB checked the bus?? Busaphile.

It's a catch 22. I'd take him out of that school immediately though just in case. Write to David Cameron too. Tell him this is his fault and he should be beaten by a horny snake until dead.

PURPLESWAN · 15/02/2011 11:43

AT DCs primary school children are often taken on school trips by parents - I have helped numerous times (being one of these much maligned stay at home do nothing parentsGrin)

I did always check that they brought booster seats and would have refused if one were not supplied.

I checked about insurance and as long as you are not being paid no additional car insurance is necessary.

Threads like this do make me think twice about helping out though to be honest!! For same reason I did not take offered TA post at school...the children are fine, its some of the parents!

I agree about forward planning though but maybe it was planned - perhaps thats why she was there.

BettyDouglas · 15/02/2011 11:44

Re the driving; They'll hit 17 and all be driving each other around badly in badly maintained cars anyway.

This is likely a non-issue as they knew a parent would be there. It could be a problem though if they thought they had transport for a certain amount then didn't. This all comes under the safeguarding stuff which is incredibly detailed and onorous.

And I kid you not but a school can fail their OFSTED on safeguarding even if teaching and standards are excellent.

BettyDouglas · 15/02/2011 11:45

onerous

Blessings3 · 15/02/2011 11:54

I'm sorry to say but would be happy with a female driver possibly not a male and yes I know there are female paedophiles and that not all men are but DN was put in a very frightening position by a friends father in very similar circumstances and My sis knew him well. She was 14 and very confident but he was very intimidating and very threatening saying she would be in trouble for leading him on etc

bigTillyMint · 15/02/2011 11:57

I bet the school bus would have had to take some back then return for the others if the KIND mum had not been there to help.

LadyBiscuit · 15/02/2011 11:58

Blessings - I presume you reported him?

I very much doubt the OP's child was alone in the car with the parent in any event. Bit of a storm in a Brew tbh

crystalglasses · 15/02/2011 12:04

'There's a 83.6% chance that parent is a paedophile' Hmm Have I missed something? Where does that stat come from?

Niceguy2 · 15/02/2011 12:08

'There's a 83.6% chance that parent is a paedophile' hmm Have I missed something? Where does that stat come from?

Yeah, from the same place which says that 73.54545% of all statistics are made up! Smile

I suspect the poster was trying to be sarcastic.

seeker · 15/02/2011 12:09

"'There's a 83.6% chance that parent is a paedophile' hmm Have I missed something? Where does that stat come from?"

Surely everyone knows that???

bupcakesandcunting · 15/02/2011 12:17

Only 83.6%? I would have thought much higher actually.

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