To want to know all your secrets...

[Lurve]

I just came across an intersting site called Postsecret, where people put their secrets on the internet.

So how about posting up a secret that only you know. Lets see if any Mumsnetters have something really juicy or interesting. Obviously namechange if people know you.

Sits in a big comfy chair and gets popcorn and waits

LewisFan, that is awful, how unprofessional of him, apart from the letting you down part .

Would you consider chasing it up, with a new therapist? Was it helping before he let you down?

changedjustforthis
OMFG - where is your brother? I'll punch his lights out for you.

Kenobi, thanks for the offer but thankfully we don't live near each other so I usually only have to see him a couple of times a year (suits me just fine). My DM has a Rose tinted memory of our childhood and says I must have another child as my DS will be miserable otherwise. Sometimes I find it quite hard to bite my lip to stop from telling her exactly how miserable you can feel when you have a brother!

Some of these are so sad and even though i am new and have gathered that this forum may not be "fluffy" a great big squishy hug to those that need it.

Mine is that I know for sure I am suffering my dreaded depression AGAIN. And have been since ds was born 3 years ago. I am not, nor have I ever been maternal and feel I am a complete sham at being a mother. It's all a pretence, I love my son but I hate being a mother and feel trapped knowing I will always be a mother. Sometimes I feel I am drowning. I flatly refuse to go to my GP because 5 years ago i was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for my depression. I let myself down, my dh down and the rest of my family and cannot bear to go through it again. Nobody knows how bad I really feel and a fake smile is my armour.

Charlie McGee - long time MN lurker and my first-ever post is because of your message.
You sound lovely, please don't be lonely in a cold house.

Amid all the ex-heroin addicts, lesbo/BIL threesomes, creme egg fetish etc , it was your post that has got under my skin.

Please get out and start living.

threeAMmaternal I totally agree that Charlie McGee's post was one that touched me.

Charlie, if it helps you to know you aren't alone in how you feel. I too sit at home most days (even sadder I don't even have kids, I am a SAHM to dogs!!) and have no friends who live nearby. I also feel socially inept most of the time and worry that I've said the wrong thing or am boring. Keep smiling!

I secretly resent people implying my kids are neglected because they are not always spotless when i've been up all night vomiting, worked nine hours , got four kids washed dressed and fed and run around all day trying to clean, work feed and please everyone with no fucking reward at all.

Yes I am feeling sorry for myself and I don't care.

CharlieMcGee Life is too short, get yourself out there, where are you?

Wow my secrets just seem silly compared to some of the ones you guys have posted!

I'm still madly in love with my ex even though he treated me badly for the whole 5 years we were together and the reason we broke up was because he hit me during an argument. It hurts so much sometime that I can't be with him anymore that I cry myself to sleep.

I also have a HUGE fear of the dentist. So far my mouth isn't in dire condition but its only a matter of time. I think the only way I could go without freaking out is to be knocked out or something.

I also have a serious obsession with wanting to be famous, not necessarily rich just famous.

One thing we learned at music college is that you can do practically anything on stage with a smile and a bit of confidence, and 99.9999% of people will be perefctly happy to sit there and enjoy themselves anyway. They simply don't pay attention to cockups. The remaining nanopercentage aren't worth bothering about. It only goes wrong if you start listening to your inner voice too much and persuade yourself you are looking silly, then the audience loses confidence in you.

That's a roundabout way of saying that you can get away with a lot more in terms of day to day interactions than you would ever realise, so things that might seem stupid or daft to you really don't to other adults. In my experience, it's people who have been picked on as young teenagers by pack like hoards of nasty girls who get over sensitive and worried that everything that comes out of their mouths is potentially ridiculous or damaging to their image, but once you have decided to disregard that and just say what you want to say a few times, it's massively easier.

So to anyone who sits at home feeling lonely, I would say get out there and have at least one deliberately friendly conversation with another adult every day, and exercise your social muscles that way. All will be well.

Also there's a brilliant academic (paperback) book that is an easy read, that explains how and why humans interact in our society. It's Goffman's 'Presentation of Self in Everyday Life' and it gives you a real insight into people's inner, secret lives, and how they reconcile this with their public images.