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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about Valentine's cards for children?

178 replies

LifeIsButtercream · 13/02/2011 09:41

Ex-H has sent DD (21months) a Valentine's card.....

..... a special 'To My Daughter' Valentine's card.....

.....last time I checked Valentine's Day was for couples? I've found cards all over the place 'Happy Valentine's Day to my dog/cat/parents/left toe/nearby lamp post'

AIBU in thinking this is a little bit of commercial over-kill?

And for the record - I'm not just sulking because my toddler has more Valentines this year than I do (i.e. she has one) Sad

OP posts:
FooffyShmoofer · 14/02/2011 12:16

Those poor neglected unloved little blighters of the parents who treat their kids on Valentines Day. I am almost sure they also know they are loved the whole year round and not just hanging on for their once yearly show of affection on Valentines Day.
That's kind of irrelevant.

However, I hate to admit that I am seeing this through new eyes. Grin

mayanna123 · 14/02/2011 12:30

"wouldn't kill kids to know not every day is about them either tbh.

those saying their children would feel left out - do you feel the need to buy them happy anniversary cards too?

bit of a shame really that what could be a special day for a man and woman to treat each other as romantic partners and nod to their continued sexuality and woman/manhood aside from being parents has to be turned into buying gifts and cards and lovehearts for children."

Agree with this 100%!

FooffyShmoofer · 14/02/2011 12:36

Annoyingly, Mayanna, so do I.

earwicga · 14/02/2011 12:39

'what could be a special day for a man and woman to treat each other as romantic partners'

OR a man and a man, OR a woman and a woman.

This thread is annoying me now. If you are under the delusion that a V card is 'sexualising' your children then don't give them a card. If you aren't and it's something you like doing, then do give them a card.

What more is there to say?

blackmonday · 14/02/2011 12:39

Every valentine's day cupid comes and leaves a little teddy, a rose and a chocolate each for my two dd's. They absolutely LOVE this little tradition and it makes them so happy. Life's so short and to see them smile so much it's worth it Smile

thumbdabwitch · 14/02/2011 12:42

UC: that's rather lovely, I think - but just comes down to sharing with the DC, rather than making it all about them and giving them their own stuff so they don't "feel left out" - a bit different.

DS got my helium balloon - but that's not surprising, he's 3 - any balloon that crosses the threshold of this house is his by default. Grin

poppydaisy · 14/02/2011 12:49

"This thread is annoying me now. If you are under the delusion that a V card is 'sexualising' your children then don't give them a card. If you aren't and it's something you like doing, then do give them a card. What more is there to say?"

But the OP is asking us for OUR opinions and that is what people are doing. Personally I take the view that St Valentines is about romantic love and dp and I spend a lovely evening together. I don't like the commercialisation about it and I wouldn't buy my children anything for Valentines Day because I show my love to them in different ways througout the year.

FooffyShmoofer · 14/02/2011 12:53

I bought my kids something on Valentines day because they dont get shown love the rest of the yearHmm not.

Not the point.

eden263 · 14/02/2011 13:01

OMG OP, don't tell me this, I'm in a similar boat. My DD's father is a right pervy creep who looks for any excuse to send something gross & OTT to the house to 'prove' what a 'fantastic' father he is! Strange then how, due to his past behaviour and total lack of interest in my DD as a person, he can only see her at a supervised contact centre and resolutely refuses all suggestions of help/ways to improve his 'parenting skills' (I use the term loosely as he has none) from the staff, to the extent that they're totally at the end of their tether with his refusal to co-operate, listen or engage with the poor girl. Perhaps I can expect a similar vomit-inducing article when the post arrives!

FWIW, I think valentine's day is yet another mindless exercise in commercialism. We're supposed to tell/show our nearest and dearest that we love them on one day of the year only? If you genuinely love someone, you don't need to 'prove' it with cards or gifts that you feel obliged to buy, you should be kind/treat them with love/etc all the time, or buy them a gift when you're feeling spontaneous, or see something you know they would like.

earwicga · 14/02/2011 13:02

Fair point poppydaisy :)

kafkanightmare · 14/02/2011 13:06

DH has, in the past, also bought me a Mother's Day card from him as well as the children.

Whilst I appreciate the sentiment, I did have to tell him that I do not want a card from him on Mothers Day and I don't want a card from my children on Valentines Day.

Actually, I might take that back. I think that it's OK if your children want to send card as really family love is the only understanding they have and therefore it's quite sweet. But sending cards to your children? I think you should be old enough to know better Grin

MooMooFarm · 14/02/2011 13:11

Just popped out at lunchtime to get a big box of 'valentine' shortbread (heart-shaped biscuits with cherry bits in) to stuff my face with share with the DCs tonight

LoveMyGirls · 14/02/2011 13:12

We're making love heart cakes after school but I don't buy my dc's valentine cards, I don't make a huge fuss of valentines anyway tbh, we buy each other a card and we have something nice for dinner and make sure we spend the evening together.

I asked dd1 if she thought she would get any cards and she said she hopes not and won't be giving any but she's only 11. She is bringing her best mate home with her so she can join in making cakes.

MaybeTomorrow · 14/02/2011 13:19

Agree that I would have thought it was for couples until I had my DD. It's her second Valentine's Day and we've got her a card because quite frankly, we both love her more than anything else in the whole world. We tell her every day but sometimes a little card or pressie out of the blue is nice.

Quite like the DH too so also treated him to a card!

poppydaisy · 14/02/2011 13:34

"It's her second Valentine's Day and we've got her a card because quite frankly, we both love her more than anything else in the whole world."

I think we all love our children more than anything else in the world. But do we really need to give in to this commercialisation of buying cards and gifts to show our love to someone? And does a 2 year old really appreciate a card Hmm?

wheredidyoulastseeit · 14/02/2011 13:37

My son got a valentine card and sweets from the cats,

mummc2 · 14/02/2011 13:43

I have 2 DDs and although we dont buy them cards we made chocolate buns all together last night and all said happy valentines day love you to each other this morning.

My DD1 age 6 did say to me other day "are you and daddy getting me and DD2 a valentines card??" to which I replied that it is for people that are in love where as we love them but to be in love is something that girlfriends/husbands etc are. I told her that we tell her everyday that we love her but because mummy and daddy are so busy we never have time so its a special day where daddy appreciates mummy and shows her how much he loves me!!!! She said I deserved it Grin

UC · 14/02/2011 14:02

thumbdabwitch - thanks. you got it right. Smile

Wouldn't cross my mind to make valentine's cards FOR the kids. Cards are sent between me and DP to remind us we appreciate eachother - and if they're clean (!) I can show them to the boys in the hope that one day they'll remember to write/say lovely things once in a while to their partners.

jugglingjo · 14/02/2011 15:04

Have just picked up three little bags of chocolate hearts from the shops, and written three little notelet cards (2 with hearts) to the three people I love most. - My DH, my DD and my DS.

Feels better to have done something than not - And after all, if nothing else, Spring is in the air !

Hooray said Moley ! ( as he poked his nose out from his burrow, after spring cleaning - or something along those lines Grin )

namechange100 · 14/02/2011 15:10

My DS has a card to send his Grandma. I think its nice he has sent a card.

FooffyShmoofer · 14/02/2011 15:13

JJ - That's the spirit Grin

swallowedAfly · 14/02/2011 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Topspin · 14/02/2011 16:19

I suppose this one depends partly on what you grew up with. I've always seen Valentine's Day as a celebration of romantic love, so nothing to do with our kids. They're now in their teens and 20s, are very much loved and seem to be undamaged from the trauma of us exchanging cards without sending them one.

poppydaisy · 14/02/2011 16:30

Just heard on the radio that Brits buy (a lot!) more valentines cards than any other country in Europe.

Are Brits really more romantic or are they being sucked into the commercialisation more than other nations? I fear the latter.

othersideofchannel · 14/02/2011 16:33

Why would you buy a card for your husband/wife/partner if you are with them Hmm? I assumed you buy cards for people who don't live with you or can't be with you. Same with birthdays.

I am looking forward to a romantic evening with dh - I bought some yummy food and a nice bottle of wine, but I have not bought him a card.