in being cautious to chastise my friend's child

[redoneslast]

When she is present? She is a rude and unlikeable child who speaks to adults in a terrible manner. I have to bite my tongue when she "orders" me to do things and addresses me by my christian name (HATE that but thats another thread) or a "hey".. DH reckons I should pull her up on it if thats the way I want to be treated/not treated but I am concerned I will offend. Its REALLY difficult not to snap. (child is 6)

Late 40's is not old.

Blimey. Im surprised Im the only one who hates it. I must be weird.

YANBU regarding your friends dd behaviour, I would have no qualms about correcting her, she needs to learn. YABU about children addressing you as Mrs R, I would hate that, it would make me sound so old, plus my surname is a double barrelled complicated Italian name so I really dont expect any young children to be able to prononce it.

eccentric maybe

Maybe because I have boys it has never been an issue. They dont seem to engage with the mums like girls do. (IME of course).

I am, I think, the 3rd oldest mumsnetter, and i would be flabbergasted if a friend of my cdcs called me anything but my first name!

I would rather be called by my first name, I wasent aware that I should teach my child to call people by their surnames, I never did, except for the elderly folk that lived in my street when I was a little girl, but they were of the old school and terribly old fashioned. You are hardly old op, but if thats what you prefer.

Im 39 my little one is nearly four and we refer to friends parents as so and sos mummy untill they tell my child their name and then she uses that.More because she still hasnt realised mummies and daddies have names but might be my age but Im not sure I would introduce an adult by their first name to her .

Im 40, but late 40s is not old!!

If you want to be addressed as that, thats your choice, but you need to be aware that this is really really not the norm these days and is a bit formal and stuffy.

Regarding the rudeness thing though, thats different if shes being genuinely rude but not if you think her calling you Mrs so and so is rude.

My friends son engages with her friends an awful lot. Do you maybe have the impression that adults should be revered? (a little maybe?)

I find it weird when my friends kids (3 yo) call me by my first name, but I'm a teacher and more used to being called Mrs Tunip.I don't object though.
When I was a kid, as a sign of respect, we called my Mum's friends Auntie...rather than Mrs...

I have a niece (9 yo) that called me "Hey" twice, on the second time I said sharply "my name is not Hey so I don't answer to that". She has not "heyed" me again

What do you mean about boys not engaging with Mums like girls?

No I dont think adults should be revered but I do think that children should learn some adult/child boundaries and I suppose I am alone in the name bwing part of that.

What if its a child of a person you dont know that well?

negod I just mean IME on play dates, boys just tend to play and girls tend to join in conversation with mums more (only natural I suppose)

I would not mind redoneslast one bit, I would be very embarrassed for the poor child trying to pronounce my surname.

what happened to my l and w? newgold sorry

More observational than stereotyping but I understand it could be seen as that.

Same needafootmassage if we met you and you wanted to be referred to as Mrs R, my dd would have no problems with that, and would call you as such, she might have a difficulty pronouncing it, she does have speech and lang difficulties but would make an effort, she is only 3 btw.

I can accept that people disagree but Id be surprised if there wasnt at least one other person who didnt also prefer not to be called by their christian name. she says hopefully

actually , did that sentence make sense? lol
You know what i mean.