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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

regarding disabled neighbour

190 replies

tinyfishbigpond · 12/02/2011 11:13

I have just moved into an area where parking is very scarce. I have a parking port in my house (think garage without a door for those who aren't familiar with one).

There are 2 parking spaces opposite my house. These are angled so that the cars run parallel with the front of my house. The council has only put in spaces because any more would stop me from being about to get into and out of my parking space.

The past 2 nights I have had a car parked on double yellow lines opposite my house in a 'third' space. This means I am really struggling to get my car in and out. I went out yesterday because I saw the car arrive and explained this to my neighbour.

The neighbour point blankly refused to move stating she has a disabled badge and can park wherever she likes. And apparently for as long as she wants. Her husband came out and was really aggressive, mocking me for renting the house when he owns his and telling me he was going to complain to my landlord.

Are they allowed to leave their car overnight on double yellow lines and cause an obstruction? I thought the max time was 3 hours. They also have no clock displayed next to the badge.

AIBU or are they? I was hoping to sort it between ourselves but they were very aggressive and told me to get the council involved.

OP posts:
QueenSconetta · 12/02/2011 21:02

PS have we got on to disabled toilets yet? Grin

thefirstMrsDeVere · 12/02/2011 21:04

Why the bloody hell should I have to push my great big OH round the supermarket just to prove he deserves his badge/space? How am I supposed to push the trolley if I do that?

I might as well get this out of the way:

Car NOT free, its leased.
Most cars require a huge deposit. The sports cars cost a bloody fortune.
DLA is not an out of work benefit.
Disabled people pay tax
Disabled people work
Disabled people have kids
Disabled people have sex (see above)
Disabled people spend money
Disabled people can be good looking/well dressed/funky/ugly/badly dressed/look like Ann Widecome.
Disabled people can walk
Disabled people often have to look after other people

Obviously the above is not an exhaustive list but it might get you going...

MummieHunnie · 12/02/2011 21:05

This sort of nonsense will end soon, when the first person is outed in the papers for being taken to court under the DDA!!

slinkyboo · 12/02/2011 21:06

GreenArmy - my Dad had a blue badge when he had cancer. He did not 'look' disabled but he had a terminal illness.

Don't judge when you do not know the background Angry

valiumredhead · 12/02/2011 21:07

I was just thinking back to when I was in a wheel chair - I really felt that 'invisibilty' that is talked about.People avoided eye contact etc. Once I progressed to crutches I felt I got a lot more empathy especially with regards to moving out of the way, and opening doors etc. I am sure it's because people are frightened of wheelchairs/disabilities and refuse to believe it could ever happen to them where as crutches are seen as more 'temporary' maybe, and people can empathise more with the idea of a broken leg?

Just thinking out loud...........

MummieHunnie · 12/02/2011 21:12

Valium, I think you are correct, I remember in the past people saying things like if they were in a wheelchair that they would end it all that it was no life! Sad

LisamumtoJake · 12/02/2011 21:12

I have a blue badge and would never dream of doing this...this is damn right arrogance!! Far as i know she can't park for as long as she likes, phone your local council and ask, and if so get her number and report her!

And just another point..all disabilities are not visible greenarmy, doesn't mean those people aren't in pain or suffering while doing their shop, just merely that they need to do their shop and you cant get everything from the first two aisles!!!

MummieHunnie · 12/02/2011 21:14

LisamumtoJake, I also find that even though you pay the price for it, just going to the supermarket and the change of scene and the social contact is good for you mentally, personally I hate the idea of just giving in and letting other people take over and "look after me", especially the children, I want to keep my independance as much as possible.

Bogeyface · 12/02/2011 21:16

Valium, the few months I spent having to use a wheelchair was a real eye opener. I never realised until then just how badly wheelchair users are treated. Asking DH if I wanted a drink for eg. I had useless legs not a useless brain, or ears or mouth! I used to come home from shopping in tears because of how awful it all was.

I felt so bad because I am sure that I had done the same to other people and it really did change my view and my behaviour.

In a bizarre way, I am glad I had to do it and if more people did have to spend a shopping trip in a wheelchair I am sure attitudes would change.

valiumredhead · 12/02/2011 21:18

Mummie - I use Tescos as a barrometer for my recovery. Last year I could only manage one aisle, then it was 2 now I can do all of Tescos but just pushing a small trolley as I can't lift too many bags into the care etc Grin

MummieHunnie · 12/02/2011 21:19

I remember using a mobility scooter and getting out of it in M&S cafe, to sit in a normal chair, and I could see the judgemental shocked looks that I could WALK, seriously there are LOADS of people about like Green Army and probably plenty reading this thread and too scared and shamed to admit they think the same way!

valiumredhead · 12/02/2011 21:19

bogey yeah - it's a real eye opener isn't it? Sad

MummieHunnie · 12/02/2011 21:21

Valium, I soooo get what you are saying, I could not even go into a proper supermarket for about half of last year, I used the little one near a petrol station as it was shorter to walk around, and the odd bit on the internet.

LisamumtoJake · 12/02/2011 21:22

Exactly mummie some days i can hardly walk but want out of these four walls,and a trip to morrisons sounds fabulous!!
I get judged every day for my disability, as some people out there don't think i fit the "criteria" since im only in my late 20's with a child and a blue badge and crutches!! The horror!!! I can tell you know i do my shop in morrisons, and could come out in tears because of the pain, so people should NOT judge!

However this neighbour of the OP sounds a right meanie {grin]

QueenSconetta · 12/02/2011 21:24

My Dad's disablilties are very visible so obviously that's ok GA? Hmm

Anyway point is, he pretty much only gets out of the house once a week to go to the supermarket because its just too much hassle for him to get ready, get in the car (he has to use an electric swivel seat, which incidentally cos in excess of £5000 to be fitted to his motability car, which we had to pay ourselves, no grants etc, eventhough without it he would be totally housebound) etc etc etc.

Can you imagine having to live like that? Can you?

I guess he's 'lucky' that cynics like you would not doubt for a minute he is genuine because of the deformities his disability has given him but you can't always see that someone is disabled - live in the real world.

In fact it must be worse for people who look 'normal' because they have to put up with abuse too.

bumpsnowjustplump · 12/02/2011 21:29

Ah but GA disabled people are aware of their conditions and would not drive if they knew and attack or if they were feeling really bad... you on the other hand would have no warning.....

Both my parents are disabled and both have bb and guess what my dad uses his mobility to pay his tax.. and my mum doesn't even drive... fucking cheek they have... I mean there life is just all rosy and dandy isn't it..

Your views are very familiar GA your not a relative of hitler are you? take away their cars, take away their rights infact fuck it lets just shoot them...

beautyspot · 12/02/2011 21:32

I can't be arsed to read all the replies but basically buzzlitebear is correct. (then I started to read people who thought there was a 3 hour parking allowance). Being disabled does NOT mean you can cause an obstruction in the roadway. I do wish people wouldn't spout forth about the law when they don't know what they are talking about!

CFAW · 12/02/2011 21:40

Got my dh's leaflet here and its a max of three hours.

TigerseyeMum · 12/02/2011 21:48

My friend's badge has a time limit too, 3 or 4 hours, couldn't remember which. I was surprised as he always maintains he can park wherever but I must remember to remind him it is time-limited (being blind, he can't see it printed on there, and maybe no one's told him).

He tells me off for setting the time when you don't need to, but presumably you always have to otherwise how would they know if you exceeded the limit?

ReformedCharacter · 12/02/2011 21:54

MrsDeVere, I love your posts on this thread.

DP has severe arthritis and has just been retired from work (he's only in his 30s'). He doesn't have a blue badge because, due to other people's ignorance, he won't apply.

The weekly shop is the only outside 'activity' we do together as a family now. He can manage it because he props himself up with the trolley on the way around the store. Nobody would know he was disabled by watching him do this unless they noticed the crutches in the trolley. He is in pain, but puts up with it because staying indoors gets bloody boring.

This week we had to use the underground during rush hour. Oh my God, I cannot believe how ignorant and selfish some other passengers are. On several different trains, nobody offered their seat, despite his disability (and crutches) being very visible. Most stations have some stairs and he struggles with this, not that it stopped people pushing and ramming into him in their rush to the platform. At one station he felt so embarrassed to be holding people up that he started hopping down the stairs. 4 days later he is still paying for that.

I'm sure I never thought about how shit it can be to have a disability before it happened to DP, but I certainly didn't have Blue-Badge envy Hmm. I'm sure I've never analysed the walking style of anybody who's parked in a disabled bay either.

beautyspot · 12/02/2011 22:34

YES..BUT YOU STILL CAN'T C A U S E A N O B S T R U C T I O N. Get that in to your heads. IT'S DANGEROUS!!!!!!!!!!

CFAW · 13/02/2011 00:29

Hmm ok calm down!

ReformedCharacter · 13/02/2011 03:41

What on earth are you shouting for beautyspot?

That's extremely rude!

lou33 · 13/02/2011 08:52

If you use a blue badge on double yellows you can only do so if you are not causing an obstruction. You get 3 hours max and you must display both the badge and the clock, set to the correct time.

Using a badge in a designated parking space usually means no clock needed, but it varies council by council so check when you park up. Where i live it is free to bb holders to use a car park for unlimited time as long as the badge is visible, but other areas differ

wellwisher · 13/02/2011 09:40

I think people are being a bit harsh on GreenAmy. There are SOME people who use BBs fraudulently. Like a woman I know who swiped her elderly mother's BB when the mother died (really) and used it in her own car until it expired. I have every sympathy for people who genuinely need their badges, for whatever visible or invisible reason, but I don't see why this issue always causes such RAGE on here - we often hear that many people claiming incapacity benefit are not actually entitled to it, and that doesn't seem to trigger the same avalanche of furious responses/tragic tales of genuine individuals.

Anyway, regardless of the neighbour's disability status, she and her husband shouldn't have been rude to the OP, so the parking ticket is richly deserved. :)