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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

regarding disabled neighbour

190 replies

tinyfishbigpond · 12/02/2011 11:13

I have just moved into an area where parking is very scarce. I have a parking port in my house (think garage without a door for those who aren't familiar with one).

There are 2 parking spaces opposite my house. These are angled so that the cars run parallel with the front of my house. The council has only put in spaces because any more would stop me from being about to get into and out of my parking space.

The past 2 nights I have had a car parked on double yellow lines opposite my house in a 'third' space. This means I am really struggling to get my car in and out. I went out yesterday because I saw the car arrive and explained this to my neighbour.

The neighbour point blankly refused to move stating she has a disabled badge and can park wherever she likes. And apparently for as long as she wants. Her husband came out and was really aggressive, mocking me for renting the house when he owns his and telling me he was going to complain to my landlord.

Are they allowed to leave their car overnight on double yellow lines and cause an obstruction? I thought the max time was 3 hours. They also have no clock displayed next to the badge.

AIBU or are they? I was hoping to sort it between ourselves but they were very aggressive and told me to get the council involved.

OP posts:

Mumcentreplus · 12/02/2011 19:08

@vali

GreenAmy · 12/02/2011 19:09

No you need to look up what a debate is

I was under the impression that blue badges are for these who have difficulty walking, do the rules not say 50 meters or something, I quoted the rules earlier.

The fact that you can get a blue badge for things like asthma is news to me.

Now for these that can have a civilised debate please answer my questions

What happens if the illness then suddenly comes on at the wheel of a car.

My question about work situation stands as well as why abroad blue badges are rare

bumpsnowjustplump · 12/02/2011 19:10

My dad even gets his road tax paid GA ! He should be flogged!!

ThePosieParker · 12/02/2011 19:11

The fact that you can get a blue badge for things like asthma is news to me.

Wow....breathing difficulties will make walking difficult.

Why are you so angry about bbs?

ThePosieParker · 12/02/2011 19:12

What are you on about 'illness comes on at wheel of car?'.....

silverfrog · 12/02/2011 19:12

as I said earlier, GA, my dd1 can get in and otu of a sports car, any tight spot you care to mention, tbh.

she can skip and gallop around the supermarket to her hearts content.

but she is severely disabled, and has difficulty walking in a manner that keeps her safe.

one of the routes ot getting a blue badge is being entitled to DLA mobility higher rate. this is paid to people who have a physical disability, and to those who have a mental disability which means they cannot walk for periods/distances. for whatever reason.

so, a blue badge for us would mean that I do not have to keep my (tall, strong, impulsive, and at times ot of control) daughter safe all the way across the carpark/roads/town centre, but can park close by my destination, and hugely minimise the risks and dangers that we all face when out walking with her.

bumpsnowjustplump · 12/02/2011 19:13

GA what happens if next time you are driving you have a heart attack?

amistillsexy · 12/02/2011 19:17

GreenArmy...maybe one reason you don't see many blue badges 'abroad' is because it's a UK scheme .

Guess what? I use a Blue Badge for my son, who has ASD. You are welcome to have him for a week if you fancy taking him round a few shops with you...You'd soon be crying with the trauma of it, as he SCREAMS in your ear and KICKS the seat, and anyone he can reach if he thinks he's going to have to walk more than a yard more than necessary.

Oh! and like another poster said, sometimes his legs work too well-he just runs off in the path of anything coming! And other times he just collapses his legs and refuses to move at all, leaving me, with all sorts of back problems and two younger children (and the weekly shop for a family of 5, more than likely), to pick him up and carry him.

But you know what? It's all worth it, because I get to park in a great big yellow-painted DISABLED spot, and let the world judge me and know my business...It's just great for the morale!

GreenAmy · 12/02/2011 19:18

bumpsnowjustplump I do not have a diagnosed illness people who have blue badges do

people tell me earlier that they are fine walking round a supermarket but later can not get off the chair because they are so ill.

slightlymad72 · 12/02/2011 19:18

It seems that greenarmy has one of the worse disabilities of all, IGNORANCE. There is no known cure and these people often live sad little lives as their ill informed misguided opinions tend to leave them isolated and lonely.
Often this condition is brought on by themselves, as they often refuse to see beyond the end of their noses, people will often try to change these peoples lives sadly their attempts will fail as the ignorant have hearing difficulties born from only listening to what they want to hear. speech can be very difficult as well, as the constant shit that pours forth interrupts normal vocal cord and tongue function.

should we offer these people our sympathies and understanding?

NAH!!!! Some people just aren't worth bothering with.

GreenAmy · 12/02/2011 19:20

It is not amistillsexy it is a European Scheme

silverfrog · 12/02/2011 19:22

I notice oyu are ignoring all explanations of why an apparently able bodied person might have ablue badge...

so, carry on being a judgy pants.

can't be much funbeing such a sourpuss all the time.

Mumcentreplus · 12/02/2011 19:22

The scheme is different abroad my dear...or do you think we make the rules in the EU?? ..I can't say why it's different in other countries

The UK badge can also be used by a person who assists the person with a disability..not that the person with a disability drives the car at all times..that may not be possible...but the badge is about access..it's about the vehicle..about allowing the disabled person or their carer the ability to have parking..do you understand that GA?..so the car may be driven by people other than the badge holder..

and about the work...a person may have a disability that changes/affects them daily or weekly or even hourly..they are not able to control this..they are given a maximum amount per week they are able to work and this probably affects their benefit...why are you of people in this situation?

valiumredhead · 12/02/2011 19:22

people tell me earlier that they are fine walking round a supermarket but later can not get off the chair because they are so ill.

Why is it so hard for you to understand that somedays it IS possible to walk round a supermarket and other days be crippled with pain and hardly able to leave the house?

My GP understands that along with the BB issuers - not sure why people have to justify their situation to you.

amistillsexy · 12/02/2011 19:25

I can answer that one...My friend (who doesn't have a bb for herself, btw, but for her daughter who uses a wheel chair due to spinabifida and who is paralised from the waist down..is that OK for you, Greenamy?) has a disability that 'came on' while she was driving. She has epilepsy, and her's 'came on' whilst driving on the motorway. 'What happens' is that you crash through the central reservation and then end up in hospital. Unable to care for your daughter. And then you aren't allowed to drive until it's been under control for a year. But hey! At least she wasn't using a bb during the time she was manipulating the wheelchair onto the (unadapted)bus!

Your ignorance is a true gift, Greeny.

TigerseyeMum · 12/02/2011 19:26

To answer the query, my Dad has COPD - sometimes his lungs work fairly well and he looks 'normal'. Other times he has had an infection, or other problem, and he cannot walk far at all.

He is safe to drive as the illness remains consistent, it does not cause acute attacks (except when he has a severe infection and then he is hospitalised) but he has a blue badge because on the (many) days he cannot walk far he is entitled to use it.

I guess if you saw hi on a good day you might judge, but would you want to swap places with him so you can park nearer the supermarket door?

Similarly, people have shot daggers at me when I have parked somewhere to collect my friend - until my friend rocks up with his guide dog in tow, and then they look sham-faced and find something else to look at.

You just never know what goes on in people's lives to make a judgement.

slightlymad72 · 12/02/2011 19:32

My DD has RRMS, a debilitating neurological condition, RRMS is characterised by relapses and remissions, she can be fine one minute and disabled the next,

The DVLA is aware of her condtion but has deemed her fit to drive a car, her license is limited for 3 years and then they review. If the DVLA deems her fit then she is, she also surprisingly is intelligent enough to assess whether she is fit before getting behind the wheel of a car.

ThePosieParker · 12/02/2011 20:15

I bet that selfish bastard Stephen Hawkins has a bb...and he's already in a motorised wheelchair.

GreenArmy, Are you really trying to say that you can't think of any conditions that might come and go?

undercovamutha · 12/02/2011 20:37

GA I don't know why you can't understand the following situation:

Person with mobility problems who would to prefer to manage without a wheelchair (which are a nightmare in most shops tbh). Can walk short distances - such as from disabled space and short trip round supermarket - but has to pace themselves.

Person may be able to do 2 such 'outings' in a week, with the other 5 days of the week spent virtually bedridden as a result of the effort spent.

This is the situation my DM is in. She will not give up her independance, is grateful she can still walk (for now), and intends to do so for as long as possible. She would probably pass muster with you GA as she normally uses walking sticks, but not ALWAYS. She could very easily be mistaken for 'able bodied' at times, when she is having a good spell and is very rested.

Things are not always black and white.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 12/02/2011 20:40

M.S. relapsing remitting. Ina relapse you may be barley able to satnd or maybe can manage a few steps/need a wheelchair. During a period of remission you may be able to walk short distances with a stick.
Just one example greeny
HTH

thederkinsdame · 12/02/2011 20:46

And this weeks judgy mcjudgy pants go to Greenarmy for her sterling efforts in defending the position of the ignorant few who make life for the 'disabled but not obviously enough' a little bit harder every day...

valiumredhead · 12/02/2011 20:55

Fnar!

thefirstMrsDeVere · 12/02/2011 20:58

Yes that was me GA it was an attempt to get you to understand.

What dont you understand about a young previously fit man who wants to spend time as a 'normal' family man so much that he is prepared to pay for it later in the day?

What if the illness suddenly comes on when is driving? What a sudden attack of MS? He is always in pain. He puts up with it. He goes to work (yes fucking hell, disabled people go to work) and he very very occasionaly comes out with me and the kids.

But it takes a lot of planning and a lot of getting over. One of the things that takes a lot of getting over is the crap we have to put up with from people who think disabled people should be pushed around in wheelchairs by their aged parents. They cant possibly be tall and handsome and (incredbily) virile with a stunning wife (thats me haha) and a ton of fabulous kids.

No they wear funny clothes and have funny haircuts and smell. They are allowed out with their carers and should be fucking greatful.

You dont understand because you DONT want to understand. If you did you would have to revise your attitude and that wouldnt be as much fun as sneering and judging would it?

You do realise that disability can happen to anyone dont you?

You are wrong, deal with it in a dignified manner. You never know, it may improve your life.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 12/02/2011 21:00

QueenSconetta · 12/02/2011 21:02

Walking is generally a lot more physically taxing than driving surely? Hence why someone can be able to driver without a problem but struggle to walk/walk for a distance.

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