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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

regarding disabled neighbour

190 replies

tinyfishbigpond · 12/02/2011 11:13

I have just moved into an area where parking is very scarce. I have a parking port in my house (think garage without a door for those who aren't familiar with one).

There are 2 parking spaces opposite my house. These are angled so that the cars run parallel with the front of my house. The council has only put in spaces because any more would stop me from being about to get into and out of my parking space.

The past 2 nights I have had a car parked on double yellow lines opposite my house in a 'third' space. This means I am really struggling to get my car in and out. I went out yesterday because I saw the car arrive and explained this to my neighbour.

The neighbour point blankly refused to move stating she has a disabled badge and can park wherever she likes. And apparently for as long as she wants. Her husband came out and was really aggressive, mocking me for renting the house when he owns his and telling me he was going to complain to my landlord.

Are they allowed to leave their car overnight on double yellow lines and cause an obstruction? I thought the max time was 3 hours. They also have no clock displayed next to the badge.

AIBU or are they? I was hoping to sort it between ourselves but they were very aggressive and told me to get the council involved.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 12/02/2011 12:57

Permenant disabilities only. Which I don't understand as you could have a temp one which expires after a certain length of time. I really needed one when I was in a wheel chair and on crutches etc.

valiumredhead · 12/02/2011 12:58

My last post was to bogey btw! Sorry you are in so much pain Sad

WelliBob · 12/02/2011 12:58

Yes, Bogey, I know. She was certainly severely disabled for those few months and had to give up work and became a virtual recluse. But I understand the permanance thing. I was just pointing out that they can't be that easy to obtain.

Certainly my friend whose DS is autistic couldn't do without it despite the fact that he looks like a fit, healthy 10yr old (which he is).

GreenAmy · 12/02/2011 13:00

Ok educate me silverfrog

How can anyone who can walk round a supermarket unaided and get in and out of a Lotus Elise have (ever tried it) severe walking difficulties

Does the card change colour or something if a non disabled driver uses it?

GreenAmy · 12/02/2011 13:01

Should not have put walking in my last post

WelliBob · 12/02/2011 13:01

Greenarmy, what does the lotus have to do with it? Good to know disability doesn't affect the affluent! Hmm

GreenAmy · 12/02/2011 13:04

Have you ever tried to get in and out of one, try it, it so awkward.

WelliBob · 12/02/2011 13:05

Perhaps one of the has Aspergers? People with AS rarely has physical symptoms. However, they often has really major sensory issues. Noise and carparks may be a trigger.

Or one of them may have renal failure and awaiting a transplant. So they may seem fine for a little while but unable to walk very far or for long distances.

You just don't know.

altinkum · 12/02/2011 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WelliBob · 12/02/2011 13:06

It would only be awkward if that persons disability was physical. Did you read my post about my friend with the autistic son? Absolutely nothing physically wrong with him at all.

ThePosieParker · 12/02/2011 13:06

GreenArmy, I've no doubt that sometimes people use their disabled badges when they don't need to and I know family members borrow them. My DH works with a man who constantly uses his father's badge just to park near work all day, he's out of order and morally bankrupt, of course. Then I know a lady who uses one to pick up her dcs when not with her DH who the badge is for, but he's at home dying of Motor Neurons disease and so she needs to get home very quickly.

However in the grand scheme of things I would rather give every badge user the benefit of the doubt rather than accuse and judge someone wrongly, wouldn't you?

valiumredhead · 12/02/2011 13:07

I can walk unaided around a supermarket ( on a good day) and get in and out of cars.

slightlymad72 · 12/02/2011 13:08

I have a BB for my DD, today she could very easily climb out of Lotus Elite, and that snap shot of time that you would see her do that Greenarmy would give you the impression that we are abusing the system, however what you may fail to grasp is that her condition means that tomorrow she could have no use of her legs and be paralysed from the waist down.

You see a snap shot of someones life and then begin to judge them on it, because at that particular time they appear to you to be functioning normally does not mean that they are.

KangarooCaught · 12/02/2011 13:10

GreenArmy, the disabled parking badge has nothing to do with income. My FIL has a heart condition/an a ex-miners' bone/arthritis condition that I've forgotten the name of...neither obvious to look at him, but my MIL is his carer and he qualifies for a blue badge.

kittybuttoon · 12/02/2011 13:12

I know that not much I can say is going to influence you, GreenAmy but I have a major illness which makes me vomit violently if I overdo the walking.

I expect if you saw me getting out of a car and going into Tesco you would think I was normal until I barfed all over you.

Try and have a bit of compassion and imagination, do.

WelliBob · 12/02/2011 13:12

Yes, what if one of them has R.R MS? Certainly they would have good days where they 'looked' fine. On other days they would have little or no control over their limbs.

Posie, Your friend who uses it even when her DH isn't with her...I don't begrudge her one bit, whether she's in a rush to get back to him or not. It's making her obviously very difficult life a little easier. Who in society could complain about that?

ThePosieParker · 12/02/2011 13:14

WElli.....yes that was my point, she has to contend with dreadful things on a minute by minute basis and always has to get back to him asap......but GreenArmy would definitely be judging her.

zookeeper · 12/02/2011 13:14

The parking ticket really is delightful news Grin

KangarooCaught · 12/02/2011 13:19

You'll just have to put your hands up and say "Nothing to do with me mate but good to know they're proactive round here"

RunAwayWife · 12/02/2011 13:29

She can park for 3 hours, after that call the police and have her car towed, she sounds most unpleasant

undercovamutha · 12/02/2011 13:31

Posie - I definitelyagree that there will always be people who abuse the system, and BBs are no different. But I'm sure it is a minority.

My Great Aunt used to let her Grandson use her mobility car (with BB) all the time. He was not disabled at all, and this made us all very cross.

My DM has a BB and mobility allowance. She went through a terrible time getting it, as she had to have a thorough medical with a doctor who treated her as though she was trying to pull a fast one, even though she IS disabled and in chronic pain. It really upset her and she found it a real ordeal.

My DM could not manage without a wheelchair if it wasn't for being able to use disabled spaces. She loves the independance of trying to walk short distances, and hates being confined to a wheelchair.

Shakirasma · 12/02/2011 14:29

My aunt has a bb. She has rheumatoid arthritus and on a good day you wouldn't know anything was wrong with her. But on a bad day she can't get out of bed except the crawl to the bathroom on all fours.

Most of the time she is 'ok'.

So green army should she not have a bb because some days she is not crippled entirely?

GloriaSmut · 12/02/2011 14:36

I think reasonable words are wasted on idiots like GreenArmy. They are keener on having a pointless argument than they are cluttering up their empty heads with facts.

KangarooCaught · 12/02/2011 15:45

ive GA the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes MN is an education Grin

Actually, it is. A lot of what I know about SEN comes from MN & informs my teaching...rather than my long ago TT.

jenga079 · 12/02/2011 16:01

Ooh, well done that Traffic Warden (not often you get to say that!)

I love a bit of karma Smile

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