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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask you to invite Hello into your home? I did, my life shall never be the same.

135 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 09/02/2011 21:37

Her name is synonymous with wit, glamour and tenaciousness. Enduring Mumsnet Contributor and mom of four, Chaos Reigns, believe these fine qualities, combined with Olympic standard perseverance, help her fragrantly waft through her gilded life.

Opening the doors of her sumptuous Black Country cottage for the first time ever in this week's HELLO! - the 39-year-old has plenty to say.

Sitting atop a luxurious velvet sofa in a room adorned with the heady scent of finest Kenyan white roses, Chaos looks the epitome of relaxed motherhood.

Her eternity ring, symbolising many years of marriage to the doting husband Bedlam, glints enchantingly under the myriad of lights sparkling from the room's impressive chandeliers.

The room abounds with familial warmth, silver framed photographs of the delightful heirs to the superior genes with which this loving family have been so richly blessed are scattered elegantly across Louis XV furniture.

Known affectionately to her friends and family as CiTi, Chaos inspires us with her desire to give back to the society that reveres her. "Although, as a busy working mother of four, I have very few moments to myself, I frequently help out in the local community." It transpires that Chaos is a valued committee member of the Local Under-Stimulated Hamster Society, particularly with conversational Anglo Saxon and Cath Kidston vintage pattern recognition.

As the sun sets on a glorious day in the Reigns domicile, Hello reluctantly leaves with a basket of still warm, hand-crafted cinnamon muffins and fond memories of a life-enhancing glimpse into this intriguing and unsurpassed world.

OP posts:
NormanTheForeman · 11/02/2011 13:58

I'm thinking of this for my summer/weekend residence. Do you think Hello would be able to do a better job of this than my current abode?

ChaosTrulyReigns · 11/02/2011 14:59

Norman, I pontificate that the Hello crew would rather that you holidayed in this bijou and vintage domicile, by the delightful banks of an idyllic rainbow trout filled lake. Norman could wander through the swaying fields in his Paul Smith limited edition Hunters, while collecting cowslips and periwinkes to adorn the inside of the Romanyesque abode. Norman could accept day guests bearing the finest Bollinger which they could quaff whilst watching the mesmerising sun sink over fields of gold.

OP posts:
NormanTheForeman · 11/02/2011 15:47

Funny you should mention it, we already have that domicile! Now all I need to do is find the idyllic lake....

And I don't have any Hunter wellies, but do have a rather natty tie. Is that any good?

ChaosTrulyReigns · 11/02/2011 21:03

Natty ties are fabulous darling, but do they protect your feet from the morning dew?

OP posts:
LeQueen · 11/02/2011 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tillyscoutsmum · 11/02/2011 21:09

Sooo many Black Country mners Smile

I lived in Tipton .. briefly. Well, Great Bridge really. The posh bit Hmm Wink

ChaosTrulyReigns · 11/02/2011 21:37

Is there a link to your gaff? Confused

Tilly are you by the Asda? Grin

OP posts:
Tillyscoutsmum · 11/02/2011 21:39

I was Chaos. I could just nip down the cut to get me shopping loike Wink. I was only there for a year (about a year too long tbh)

I'm in Stourbridge now though

ChaosTrulyReigns · 11/02/2011 21:47

Stourbridge is far clarsier.

Grin
OP posts:
BrianAndHisBalls · 11/02/2011 21:51
HighPriestessBoo · 11/02/2011 23:41

I'm 38 Brian. Dunno about the Coach but I made a dent in the Black Cross :o But I thought you were 'laid low by love' hmmm?

pinksmarties · 12/02/2011 00:23

Chaos, you've made me laugh all week, I love the way you write. I think you're just wonderful. Smile Local understimulated hamster society.......PMSL

I hope you're a writer in RL, but I bet you're not.

BrianAndHisBalls · 12/02/2011 09:09

The Black Cross!!!! I'm 35. Trying to think of names of 'famous' black crossers....

Matt obviously (RIP)
Leyton
Julie D
Damian
Mick dreadlocks biker bloke
Richard Ashmore

god I bet we have traded body fluids Grin In a both shagged same bloke way not in a woman to woman way.

I'm now laid low by low due to having a bloke from the black country in my life Grin

DillyDaydreaming · 12/02/2011 09:17

Oh I needed this thread this morning just utterly fantastic. Now for some Brew just because I can.

HighPriestessBoo · 12/02/2011 15:06

Brian If you know/knew all those people then we must know each other. I am trying to work out who you are.... much more fun than me PMing you :o

If your are who I think you are then we know each other already and are friends on Facebook!

bupcakesandcunting · 12/02/2011 15:33

Oy'm in that Stourbrige ay I?

I went to do my food shop at the Great Bridge Asda last weekend as my friend told me of a wondrous clothing/home department. 'Twas an eye-opener, I can tell you... Grin

BrianAndHisBalls · 12/02/2011 19:47

Ooooh! a mystery! i'm going to get all miss marple now....

let me go check my fb friends...

BrianAndHisBalls · 12/02/2011 19:50

hmmmm im going for lt or sp. if lt we've never swapped bodily fluids that i know of Grin if sp we had the same boyfriend for 2 years i think Grin

ChaosTrulyReigns · 12/02/2011 20:35

I've just read this thread back through properly.

Smile

There's some great laughs on here, thanks for joining in!

Gissabreak - Thanks everso - I have that photo on canvas in my living room, and it gives me the warm fuzzies every time I look at it. Smile

That's vaire kind of you to say so pinksmarties, but no, Oi'm just a normal mom. Wink

OP posts:
InspirationalBreadbin · 12/02/2011 21:05

Whilst Hello magazine journalists are familiar with visiting the rich and famous, they could not contain their awe when visiting the home of Insprational Breadbin.

Upon opening the door, the unmistakable odour of cat poo greeted them - further inspection revealed that a fresh offering had been left unburied in the litter tray, carefully positoned under the dining room radiator for enhanced distribution of scent.

'Ha ha' simpered IB nervously, 'They always do that when I am expecting guests any minute'.

The tour continued, though had to be curtailed for one of the journalists when immediately upon entering the sumptious lounge, he tripped over a Fisher-Price Animal Train, broke his ankle and fractured his elbow.

Whilst awaiting the ambulance, the tour continued for the one remaining journalist in the kitchen. The most notable feature being the complete lack of a breadbin, inspirational or otherwise.

The downstairs loo, just off the kitchen displayed the unmistakable mark of Mr IB, who had missed the loo and left splashes on the floor, as usual.

Finally, the conservatory, large and frankly freezing, IB chuckled as she shared her fond memories of family christmases all sitting round the dining table in winter coats.

As the ambulance had arrived, the tour concluded without going upstairs, though Hello has pledged to return to view the upper levels at a later date...

HighPriestessBoo · 12/02/2011 22:17

Ha ha neither Balls. I know sp ( now going through a mental list of all her exes....)... give us a clue?

I can't work out who lt is though... ooh this is fun!

BrianAndHisBalls · 12/02/2011 22:24

Her ex that is also my ex is RA.

So you know Huw? Owain etc?

Grin

Oh and tiffanys is still there, went to b'grove to a party today and there's a banner across the strand saying 'tiffanys tea and coffee shop' or something like that.

God you better not be JD she scared the crap out of me.

HighPriestessBoo · 12/02/2011 22:29

I'm not JD - and yes I was a bit in awe of her too, although she now runs a shop in Malvern and I saw her on a stall at the Christmas Fayre - she didn't remember me but was very pleasant!

If the answer to this question is yes I will PM you with my identity (and we aren't friends on fb) Did you once throw RA's guitar out of his window? :o

BrianAndHisBalls · 12/02/2011 22:31

No dont think so. He was a right alcoholic twat though so I wish I had done....

JD and I shared a bf too, SB. JD was very pretty but scared me to death Grin

ahhhhh.... are you S??

BrianAndHisBalls · 12/02/2011 22:31