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Original poster

Competitive parent comments (just for fun)

382 replies

prettymuchapixiegirl · 08/02/2011 21:35

A few that I've come across:

"I love the way your DS is happy sitting in the buggy. My DS is never happy just sitting there like that, he is so grown up and needs constant stimulation or he gets bored"

"Oh DS, look at that slop that Pixiegirl's DS is eating, you're wondering what it is because you only have big boy food don't you?"

"To be honest I'd much rather have a child who's more average, like your DS. I think being so advanced is going to bring my DS nothing but problems when he gets to school"

All said by a "friend" who is lovely in many ways but also very competitive and our meet ups are frequently spent with her reeling off a list of what her DS is now doing, or by her making out that there's a problem because she thinks he's doing things so early....

What competitive parenting comments have you all come across?

OP posts:
Lancelottie · 09/02/2011 13:42

Don't you think, though, that there may be an element of genuine astonishment that kids DO do some amazing things -- amazing to their inexperienced and bewildered parents, anyway?

I mean, I'm pretty ancient, but when DS1 sprouted his first tooth, I took him round to my (lovely, seen-it-all) elderly neighbour practically incoherent with excitement: TEETH! Real TEETH! how did he DO that?

I'm also pretty staggered by DS1's computer knowhow, DS2's musical ability (modest, but streets ahead of my own) and DD's all-round bossy competence. I can't claim any credit for any of it, so I wouldn't really think of it as boasting if I mentioned it.

GMajor7 · 09/02/2011 13:44

Absolutely RMCW

Punkatheart · 09/02/2011 13:45

Worse - my mother still boasts about ME. I am the most beautiful supportive daughter and if I even fart, I have invariably changed wind patterns of the world for the better. It makes my other sisters a little cross but it is exceedingly embarassing when she does it all over the place. I always feel as if I am in an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.

But I love her!

Psammead · 09/02/2011 13:46

That's true Lancelottie. My mum is completely tone deaf. Really terrible. She goes around telling people what a natural musician I am because I can bash out a tune on the piano. And I really mean bash! With one hand and half the notes wrong.

Mum is fascinated by it.

JemimaMop · 09/02/2011 13:47

At the school gate last week, talking to the mother of my 8yr old DS' classmate:

Other mum: Of course Timmy has an inate talent for running, that was identified early on by Mr X (PE teacher). DS1 trains all the time, once he is in the zone he is unstoppable, especially over long distances. Mr X actually has to tell him to slow down at times as he can't keep up. We are so proud of him, it is obvious that he is going to be a very successful athlete.

Me: Oh well done him! Do you know when the County Cross Country competition is? DS1 qualified in the local one but I haven't heard any more about it, I keep forgetting to ask. Its good that so many from the school got through though isn't it?

Other mum: errr... ummm... Timmy didn't get through so I'm not sure.

coppertop · 09/02/2011 13:49

JoanofArgos - I'm with you on the irony.

coffeecoffeecoffee · 09/02/2011 13:50

My DD was the first in her class to lose teeth and I was actually extremely worried - I thought she might have something wrong, so I phoned the dentist Smile

LadyInPink · 09/02/2011 14:20

RMCW in my DD class they asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up. My DD said she wanted to be a maid - cue guffaws of laughter from the other parents (it was on a notice board outside classroom with a pic of each child and what they wanted to be) - she was 5! I said what's wrong with that and they shrugged and said well my DD wants to be a hairdresser or swimming instructor etc etc so we think that's a bit odd. One boy wanted to be a bomber pilot; much prefer my DD being a maid and doing some good than bombing people etc but i didn't say that obviously.

I did ask my DD when she got home that day why she had chosen that particular job (as I hadn't thought she would know that word, it seemed old fashioned imo) and she replied 'I want to be like you when i grow up' - I was a SAHM at the time and i took that as the biggest compliment EVER. Smile

GabbyLoggon · 09/02/2011 14:26

A teacher said to me , you might make a good lawyer.

I told my eldest brother and he said: thats an insult.

I did not know what he meant at the time:
I do now

Chil1234 · 09/02/2011 14:44

When I said this it wasn't meant to sound as competitive as it probably did. All the children were about 18mo at the time and we'd met for coffee

Other mums: Little DCs are really enjoying their music classes/drama groups/yoga/foreign language course/swimming lessons etc
Me: Wish we had time to do all those. But miniChil1234 has had loads of fun playing with the baby-friendly CD-Rom I got him this week.
Other mums (necks snapping round like chickens spotting a cat): Computer programme!!! Which one!!!?? Where do we get it!!!??

leeloo1 · 09/02/2011 14:54

Canella What your friend didn't tell you is that her daughter may well have "written the word "peas" without any help" but that she was actually trying to write 'please' or 'princess'! Grin

GrimmaTheNome · 09/02/2011 14:55

Mind you, all these overly proud parents are better than a sort who rubbish their kids.

My DH always told me his mum said he couldn't do anything if he wasn't immediately good at it. I didn't quite believe it till one day she said, 'of course, he can't sing' Shock - he has a lovely voice but of course he never joined a choir or had any sort of music lessons with that attitude.

dementedma · 09/02/2011 14:57

re the children themselves knowing what everyone else is good at..
DS came home from school - reception - and announced he was in the "red teddies" group. He then said "but Kieran - bf - is in the blue teddies". I asked him if that was a problem. "not really" he replied, "it means I'm good at reading but he's a really fast runner!"
5 years on and DS is still a good reader and Kieran is still a really fast runner, much to lazyarse academic DS's chagrin!

Chil1234 · 09/02/2011 14:59

'Tigermum' SIL had several monumentally gifted DCs. When one was asked what time it was and was clearly struggling for an answer she chipped in quickly.... "He knows perfectly well what time it is. He just can't be bothered to tell you"

NinkyNonker · 09/02/2011 15:01

I know qs and rmcw. Unbelievable! The only thing to say about someone else's baby is how lovely they are, or something more specific if you cam find it. This particular little boy is perfectly healthy, no one knows why he is so small, and he has the cutest face/smile. Dd is always trying to hold his hand... Confused

dawntigga · 09/02/2011 15:02

Somebody once told me that her baby had an Apgar rating of 11 Grin didn't have the heart to tell her.

The Cub was late to everything sitting/walking etc and the amount of people who would say 'He's not walking YET? Darling Timothy/Tabatha walked at 6 weeks' was unbelievable. It mightily pissed them off that all I said was he'll do it when he's ready.

I'mEvilIt'sAGiftTiggaxx

TheSkiingGardener · 09/02/2011 16:02

Can I bashfully admit to some , ahem, less than tactful comments in the months after DS was born. I will flagellate myself and promise to do better.

I was zapped up on hormones and recreating my own childhood, where I was expected to do everything early as a matter of course and never felt my parents were proud of me. Hopefully I've got over the overcompensating state now. Sad

donkeyderby · 09/02/2011 16:16

a 'friend' when their DS first started football with my DS2...'your DS only got that medal because you probably bribed the coach'

The mother of an able DD with Down Syndrome to me, the mother of DS1 who is very severely disabled: 'This school was good until they started letting in children who are not able at all - it holds my DD back and it's not fair'.

kepler10b · 09/02/2011 16:31

i've experienced parental bragging about offspring olive eating and enjoyment on more than one occasion. it is boasted about as if showing what a mature and eclectic palatte they have.

it's just an olive ffs.

Punkatheart · 09/02/2011 16:31

Stupidity is astounding. I have a very very competitive friend who is very kind and generous - but she boasts about her children to the point of nausea. I told her that my father had died and that my DD was upset. 'My children don't know any dead people. I make sure of that.'

Apart from anything, it didn't even make sense!

UntamedShrew · 09/02/2011 16:32

I love these and have a secret collection on my iphone so I can enjoy them with DH later. All from the same 'friend':

"You are lucky you 'only' have boys. They are much less demanding"
[Implies boys aren't as good as girls / implies I couldn't cope with anything other than highly simple creature. lovely]

"Do you think it was easier for you to breastfeed your twins becuase you have such small boobs normally?"
[thanks for that]

"don't worry that their language isn't developing, boy twins are always the slowest"
[nothing to do with the fact that they were only 14 months old at the time then? Now they are 20 months and I can't get a word in edgeways!]

"they are obsessed with cars, aren't they? Did you know that is a sign of autism?"
[whatever.]

"have you still not put their names down for a private nursery? They'll probably be fine, I just know my kids will need lots of structured learning by 2"
[or you'll be dying to get back to Starbucks and Grazia? That's fine, just be honest about it FFS]

Megatron · 09/02/2011 16:37

I've just remembered that my mum used to frequently tell people that her wonderful daughter (that would be me) knew from an early age that it was wrong to be racist as 'she used to give the most beautiful smile to black people'. God almighty woman.

callaird · 09/02/2011 16:58

I read The Hobbit when I was 6 (am re-reading it now, conincidentaly, not for the first time) closely followed by Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Loved them all.

I am now 42 and still act like a 6 year old (I'm allowed to, I'm a nanny!) and I am about to move back in with my parents!

callaird · 09/02/2011 17:03

Sorry, there was supposed to be a point in my post!

I wasn't a particularly gifted child, just didn't have many friends so lost myself in books! Still do!

RMCW · 09/02/2011 17:17

ladyinpink oh, how sweet! Smile

ninky I agree....whatever the little mites look like and whatever they are named I always make a point of saying something positive.

If the baby has acne and is called Herod???
"What beautiful hair he has!"
Grin

I well remember the abyss of misery peoples unthinking comments caused me and wouldnt want to do that to anyone else...ever!