Competitive parent comments (just for fun)

[prettymuchapixiegirl]

A few that I've come across:

"I love the way your DS is happy sitting in the buggy. My DS is never happy just sitting there like that, he is so grown up and needs constant stimulation or he gets bored"

"Oh DS, look at that slop that Pixiegirl's DS is eating, you're wondering what it is because you only have big boy food don't you?"

"To be honest I'd much rather have a child who's more average, like your DS. I think being so advanced is going to bring my DS nothing but problems when he gets to school"

All said by a "friend" who is lovely in many ways but also very competitive and our meet ups are frequently spent with her reeling off a list of what her DS is now doing, or by her making out that there's a problem because she thinks he's doing things so early....

What competitive parenting comments have you all come across?

You do have to be careful what you say to children. Mine walked into someone's house and the children there asked her if she wanted to watch television.

In a big voice that carried to her mother and myself in the kitchen she said: 'I'm not sure. My mother says that watching too much TV makes you a right moron.'

Oops.

The autistic comment is appallingly stupid. I would have choked with fury!

Lol at the mascara comment. I don't wear make up at all but it's not because I'm doing mummy stuff (OMG puke at those words) it's because I'm feckin lazy!

penelope was it that comment that made your tits drop oppossed to your jaw

My mother is a primary school teacher. New family move to village. Before their PFB starts at the school they have a series of meetings to discuss their concerns - it must be appreciated that their DS is incredibly bright, probably the most intelligent boy she will ever have come across (and much more in this vein). Child arrives and is perfectly ordinary if a little below average - when this is sensitively conveyed at the first parents evening child is quickly whipped out of the school and sent to the private school in town. Poor sod.

penelopestitsdropped- She'll be telling you to take your DS to a casino next so he can count cards for you!

What a stupid bitch!

"my child doesn't play with toys anymore as she's much too advanced for them." Said child was 6 at the time.

Ooh now see some of these comments are actually not so funny they are just sad! :( poor kids.

I have the ultimate answetr to this.

At the very next boast of amazing baby superpowers, you tilt your head slightly, look concerned, and say "Ohhhh... see, that would worry me..."

And refuse to elaborate further, swearing that you're "sure everything is fine really."

"Oh no, that's a boring baby. You don't want to play with a boring baby."

Said by one mother to her child. Now, Ds1 was 3 months old at the time, which to be fair did make him pretty boring to all but his parents.
The other child, however, was 6 months .

You know what I hate? Smug, boastful pictures of birthday cakes on Facebook.

I know I'm shit cook with no artistic ability - I don't need pictorial evidence to prove how crap I am!

I know i know.

My initial reaction was rage. but when she went on, oblivious to why on earth i had my jaw lower than my nipples. I just went off in shock

colditz thanks for that little gem

will come in handy

My current favourite is the 'how many teeth has your child lost' competition. It's hilarious. Every few days we have 'come on DD, show verybored your smile. Now come on dd'. Child eventually does a little grin to show off another gap. I say 'oh did the tooth fairy come?' trying to feign interest and then we get to my DT's 'Oh have you still not lost any yet'.

The to me 'Aren't you worried? DD has lost bla blah amount of teeth' et etc etc. Then compares to next child in playground. Then goes on about development and growing up fast etc etc.

Dcs are all in year 1.

Clearly mine should be held back a year until they learn to shed teeth more efficiently!

not to do with kids but super bitchy comment nonetheless. Am close friend (platonic)to guy whose wife suspects otherwise. She is smaller and trimmer than me, but also a few year older. We meet at a function. She hangs on to her DH possesively and we begin a conversation about this and that, getting older, trying to keep healthy etc. I have had 3 kids, she has had none - imagine the relative stomachs!!
Eventually she says "Well, I can see it must be hard losing that extra weight. Keep at it and I'm sure you'll get down to my size eventually!"
My reply - "well, hopefully

Serendippy I wouldn't mind, but i quite clearly look like a potato with Dr Martens on most of the time

My cousin is forever posting on Facebook (i know, i know) about what miracles her little babies are (not babies, not even remotely babies.), and how amazing every second she spends with them is. She sprinkles this liberally with a running commentary of how much money she has spent on them that day, with a twee little remark about what a 'naughty mummy' she is. Just shhh.

penelope - your 'pal' is mistaking asd for savant. the character rain man is based on is a savant, not an autistic. that film has alot to answer for (proba answered already but just found thread)

i have listened to my friend with older dd's make these outrageous statements for bloody years now. don't get me wrong her 3 year old is lovely BUT just as stroppy and naughty as most 3 year olds i've met. every time her dd does/says anything remotely interesting we get 'ohhhhhhhhhhhh, have you EVER, EVER heard a 3 year old say/do that????' 'have you??' 'oh dd2 is just so advaaaaaaaanced'. yawn. actually her dd2 is quite whiney and touches everyones food which drives me bloody mad but i'd find this all much more tolerable if i wasn't lectured so often on how advaaaaanced she is.

It is always the insecure ones who come out with these clangers, isn't it? I once idly chatted to a complete stranger in a park who was dressed up to the nines in the playground on a Saturday afternoon (skyscraper heels, full make-up, designer clothes). With a 3-year-old running all over the place! She kept checking her face in her mirror and telling me about how fabulous her daughter was. When I mentioned what nursery my DS goes to she said: "Oh, I decided not to send Mabel there, it's not challenging enough for her level." God only knows how I managed not to snort my tea all over her fancy coat! Though now I wish I had!

Oh, and FWIW DS's nursery is bloody brilliant but clearly this woman just had to convince herself that everything she had was the best!

Wait until your DC are older!! Recent comments from school mums include things like "My DS is grade 8 on piano and he's only doing it for fun" "My DD has just taken the highest Lamda exam for her age and she just wants to study maths at uni "my DD has come third in the Cambridge maths challenge and she's only 15!) etc etc ... it just never stops.

BTW, My DS (hugely talented musician who I brag about often) has just been forced to join the school orchestra where he is playing timpani (drums & stuff) so I can now proudly brag that "my son is in the school orchestra and he plays the triangle"!!!!! It does kind of strike the competitive mums dead!

your 'friend' sounds like a fannywipe that average comment

I can't think of ant atm I'll get back to ya lol

we go to the park with my friend and her dd aged 2
my dd (also aged 2) brings scooter
I foolishly persuade dd to lend her scooter to friends dd
dd agrees for all of about 1 minute and then starts hollering for the scooter back
after ten minutes of tantrum by dd I am really starting to pray that my friend gets her dd to give the scooter back

what does friend do? looks at me incredulously and says

"I would really like to help, but honestly I have no experience of this type of behaviour, MY dd NEVER has tantrums like this'

I've recently had at preschool 'so what school have you put down' then 'oh we've chosen xxxx. I think dd will benefit from a more academic environment'

It's not the implication that my child is less intelligent that bothers me, more the fact that they are 3 ffs!

bumperliccious you must live in my village! two schools to choose from, one academic, one not.

we have chosen the "not". you would be AMAZED at just how astonished some of the mums are.

they are 3 years old. its insane.

wikos arrrghhhhhhhhhhhh

Did you deck her?

this isn't quite the same but had a conversation with an aquantance last week whereby she was asking which school I would be sending my 16 month (!) old daughter to...so I told her...she went on to tell me how awful the school was, was I considering private to which I told her no, that isn't an option for us and I'm not sure I fundamentally agree with it anyway. she continued to bang on about how sending my daughter to one of the local schools might toughen her up! She is 16 months old FFS! Of course hers child is going private, as did she etc...

Wilkos, the same woman also said 'they give them lots of homework' - well that's one of the major reasons I didn't choose it!