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Original poster

Competitive parent comments (just for fun)

382 replies

prettymuchapixiegirl · 08/02/2011 21:35

A few that I've come across:

"I love the way your DS is happy sitting in the buggy. My DS is never happy just sitting there like that, he is so grown up and needs constant stimulation or he gets bored"

"Oh DS, look at that slop that Pixiegirl's DS is eating, you're wondering what it is because you only have big boy food don't you?"

"To be honest I'd much rather have a child who's more average, like your DS. I think being so advanced is going to bring my DS nothing but problems when he gets to school"

All said by a "friend" who is lovely in many ways but also very competitive and our meet ups are frequently spent with her reeling off a list of what her DS is now doing, or by her making out that there's a problem because she thinks he's doing things so early....

What competitive parenting comments have you all come across?

OP posts:
solooovely · 13/02/2011 20:59

nufsed - uhum . . . yes er . . . "fucking ridiculous" maybe have been a little harsh!

mumgen · 13/02/2011 21:15

This thread is HILARIOUS (albeit a little sad seeing as these stories are true!)

I remember once being in the children's centre at my local school and another mum was enquiring about their day nursery. The lady told her that they had no more spaces but that a new nursery was opening soon a couple miles away. Mum replied "oh no, I had a look on google map's, there is a big block of flats next to it, it doesn't look safe AT ALL" The lady replied sarcastically "well, they have gates, im sure stranger's wont be able to get in" The mother didn't even appear to detect the sarcasm, all the while im crying inside trying to stifle my laughter !

nufsed · 13/02/2011 21:22

solooovely - no offence taken Smile

Makes me realise how out of touch I am, one of the reasons I joined MN. No doubt I will be on quite a learning curve as I become the most competitive grandma in the town county country world Grin

Alwaysworthchecking · 13/02/2011 22:00

Just remembered my Gran was a competitive grandparent. When I was 17 or so, she went into hospital for a knee op and I painted her a card. I copied a painting from a greetings card - not particularly well, it must be said. She told all the other old ladies in there that her dgd was so talented and likely to study art at Oxford. When I said, 'Er...Grandma...?' she replied, 'Shh! Don't say anything: this lot are so competitive. I'm sick of them all going on about their grandchildren!'Grin

solooovely · 13/02/2011 22:10

nufsed - Oh no! The nicer you are the worse I feel about it! Blush

DancingThroughLife · 13/02/2011 22:56

nufsed - my mum is always on the receiving end of a Hmm face when she tells me I was in pants during the day at 11 months (am slightly under 30 Wink)

We were talking about it this weekend, and I was apparently walking at 9-10 months so it's sort of conceivable that I would take myself to the pot, pull dress up/pants down and sit. And announce to the room 'Wee' or the alternative

And she will probably fight you for Most Competitive Gran Grin

nufsed · 13/02/2011 23:18

I'm sure you were in pants at 11 months dancing. Back then we were very well motivated to get DCs using a potty, the driving force was getting rid of the nappy bucket and not having get terries dry. More for our own benefits than our DCs.

I was still fully involved in potty and toilet visits for ages after that though.

kiwilizzie · 14/02/2011 01:06

Re: the Hobbit - this must be some sort of benchmark for competitive parents as my mum is super-pushy & I have heard her tell people I was reading the Hobbit when I was 7. My personal recollection is that I started reading it & didn't enjoy it as it was probably far too advanced for my 7 year old brain to 'get' and I stopped reading it fairly early in.

Competitive mums suck. I did competitive gymnastics from age 4-13 y/o and the mums on that circuit were terrible for it. I once (aged about 8) heard a drunk mum flagging me off to another mum (really vitriolic shot about how I wasn't even really that good). I was in the next room (not) asleep and it was very confusing and upsetting, as I recall.

Luckily I don't know any super competitive mums (yet). DC are 2 and 12 weeks do no doubt we have it all to come!!

What I hate (and it's v common here in NZ) is the competitive stay at home mum stuff. Everyone seems to want to out-bake each other. Eurrrgh.

kiwilizzie · 14/02/2011 01:08

OopS - slagging not flagging. Shit not shot. So not do...

...I am clearly not gifted, as disappointing as that is to my mum!!!

solooovely · 14/02/2011 10:07

solooovely hobbling around with bruised shins looking for something heavy to beat nufsed with

Habbibu · 14/02/2011 10:40

Here, have a copy of the Hobbit. There's got to be some use for it.

Habbibu · 14/02/2011 10:41

kiwi, I suspect you didn't like it because it's rubbish not to everyone's taste...

chandellina · 14/02/2011 10:46

I read the hobbit when i was 8 and loved it. :)

Piggyleroux · 14/02/2011 11:19

'oh piggy, don't worry that your ds isn't crawling let and my dd is, he's got more teeth than she has' Confused

pinkmoomin · 14/02/2011 11:43

I find it incredibly wanky when parents boast about what their precious little darlings are wanting/ going to be when they grow up "Oh 4 year Max wants to be a doctor", "Little Grace is going to be a scientist and find a cure for cancer", "Poppy is going to be either an actress or prima ballerina". My favourite reply is "DD wants to be either a road sweeper or a disco dancer". It was refreshing to hear a mum say that her DD's ambition is to clear up dog poo from parks when she grows up.

Habbibu · 14/02/2011 12:03

Well, I suppose you could always reply that you'd hoped we wouldn't have to wait that long for a cure for cancer. For the record, dd is going to be an Octonaut.

foxter · 14/02/2011 12:39

This thread is making me quite paranoid, I'm desperately going over all the things I may have said in the past which may have made me sound competitive, and I'm sure there are quite a few as I like to talk! The trouble is, if I'm at the school gates and am feeling nervous I will talk about the kids because that's the one thing that I know I have in common with all the other people at the gate.

Having said that, some of the comments that people have posted are truly dreadful!

I laughed at the ball breaking the law of physics one though. That mum sounds just like one of my friends, she's always saying stuff like that, but she's joking. I can see the looks on some other mums' faces though and it's clear that they don't realise that she's joking. She's got a very dry sense of humour and it's quite difficult to pick up on if you don't know her well (which is probably why she only has a few close friends!).

scentednappyhag · 14/02/2011 21:17

Hangonhangonhangon- StealthPolarBear, your 2 week old daughter can put on pants by herself? That is truly brag worthy! Unless I'm reading that wrong, in which case, ignore me and carry on Grin

wheredidyoulastseeit · 14/02/2011 21:54

My dear mum used to go in for competitive weather. I moved south and she always used to phone me up for a weather based phone call when there was vast difference in the prevailing conditions.

Whats the weather like down south WDLS?
"not too bad" 'well we've got blizzards and hurricanes up North' etc, if we had overcast then she had blazing sun.
Now she's passed away my sister is carrying the weather competitive gene and has the weather report for my town saved to her homepage so she can compare weather on a daily basis
WTF!

DancingThroughLife · 14/02/2011 22:37

nufsed, I'm going the cloth route myself, so I'll probably go in for the early potty training too. Gah, all the washing Smile

Habbibu · 14/02/2011 23:56

Oh, I don't know. ds is in cloth, and I still think I'd rather wash than have the "I need the toilet NOWWWWW!!" of the young potty-trained toddler any sooner than I have to...

TarheelMama · 15/02/2011 15:24

Just had my first run in with a competitive parent. In town, in a lift, DD is in her pram with one of those zip-up covers that is part of the pram. Another mother in the lift with her DD in her pram. Her DD is all dressed in frills with frilly blankets, etc.

Older lady gets on the lift and smiles at my DD, probably bc she was nearest. Competitive mum gets put out look on her face and makes a show of cooing at her DD and saying, "Aren't you gorgeous?".

Older lady looks at my pram and says, "DD looks cosy."

Competitive mum looks at her DD and says loudly, "Well, you're the cosiest!"

Was all I could do not to laugh until I got out of the lift.

Liv77 · 15/02/2011 22:45

We were at a playgroup where they had given the children 2 stickers each. DS (2.5) stuck one sticker on his chair and stuck the other one on me.

CM then asked me in all seriousness if DS was stickerphobic as he wasn't wearing his stickers in the correct way like her DD. Biscuit

SpringHeeledJack · 15/02/2011 22:51

not a comment, so much as an Occurrence

on looking round a primary school, one parent in particular, at every opportunity, asked what they did with the more able children, what their Gifted and Talented programme was like, etc etc. The school, being a bit right on, showed off their nurture space, the Asylum seekers unit, and listed very carefully how they helped less able children- at which point this mother actually turned her back and sighed theatrically

when my dp and I were bitching about her discussing it later, he said: did you actually see her child? When I said no, he pointed out that she didn't have one with her- she was pregnant

Grin Shock
willieversleepagain · 16/02/2011 06:45

SIL & I have dd's 1 year apart, I followed every guideline, read every parenting book, & have been rewarded with a 'challenging' child (who I adore & wouldn't change but is admittedly bloody awkward sometimes). SIL has done everything you're not supposed to do & has a dd who sleeps through, eats everything, walking by 1 etc etc.
One day SIL turned to me & said 'don't you wish you'd done things more like me?, then your dd would be more like mine?'

Also when her dd started showing signs of a temper she blamed MY dd, saying hers must be copying.

Grr.