Competitive parent comments (just for fun)

[prettymuchapixiegirl]

A few that I've come across:

"I love the way your DS is happy sitting in the buggy. My DS is never happy just sitting there like that, he is so grown up and needs constant stimulation or he gets bored"

"Oh DS, look at that slop that Pixiegirl's DS is eating, you're wondering what it is because you only have big boy food don't you?"

"To be honest I'd much rather have a child who's more average, like your DS. I think being so advanced is going to bring my DS nothing but problems when he gets to school"

All said by a "friend" who is lovely in many ways but also very competitive and our meet ups are frequently spent with her reeling off a list of what her DS is now doing, or by her making out that there's a problem because she thinks he's doing things so early....

What competitive parenting comments have you all come across?

I have friends who do third hand boosting which I think is ingenious.

It has to be delivered as if passing on something confidential.... ' oh I saw so and so and she just came up to me and said..your dc is the most gorgeous and gifted human being I have ever encountered and I envy how wonderful and spectacular he is. How did you create such a human being.......well, I was just a bit embarrassed and shrugged'

And faux complaints ' god my dd is so annoying. She won't stop going on about the project she is doing on the Tudors and she knows it annoys me when she talks over supper. She takes so long over her chorizo and olives and then she has very little time for her piano practice. And if she rushes she just spills on her Ralph Lauren dress and I wanted her to wear that for her poetry recital. Why couldn't I just have a normal child'

I have to nod along.

Trolly How advanced were my newborns then, that could tell me so vocally when they needed a snack?

Now I'm proud.

It was indeed the craziest baby-development comment I have ever heard. My mum nearly wet herself. No voice boxes?!

Haha Pag, the fake complaint is just like my friend...

That's what I was thinking. My baby was not even a minute old and let me know she was hungry!

Honestly, I have no idea how geberations upon generations of women all over the world have coped with knowing when to poke food into their babies' mouths before babysign came along!

I think the human race has survived by pure dumb luck.

i think there's nothing wrong with parents being proud of their children's abilities (if its true!) but it can be discussed without putting down other children!

And its the bullshitters that i hate - the "oh look he's defying physics" nonsense!! can they not hear how ridiculous it sounds!!

I have a good friend who constantly uses phrases like
"i am just astounded by my dd1's (or any other of her dc) brilliance".

I know these children well and they are run of the mill, happy children but I wouldnt say any of them were "astonishingly brilliant". But she peppers every conversation with insights into their brilliance - the classic example being that her dd (aged 6 at the time) had written the word "peas" without any help!!

I think it is fair enough that she is proud of how her dd is progressing with writing but the use of the word "brilliant" just stops me listening!

Do people really boast about when their DCs loose their teeth. Why?

My strangest ever conversation was with chatting to a woman at a playground. Her DS was playing with mine. They all looked about the same age (3-ish I think).

Her: Are they twins?
Me: Yes
Her: My DS was potty trained before he was 2
Me:

I'm really not a 'look at me I've got twins' type at all so no idea why she said it.

Also mother of one the girls in DS's class at school can drop the marvellous acheivements of her DD into any conversation no matter what you are talking about.

*lose

During a discussion about what books to get to read to young chilren (which don't involve rainbows and fairies), my friend says "I am reading ds (age 6) the Hobbit" WTF!!!

Like LeQueen I avoid engaging in any conversation involving ds1s academic achievements with the other mums. I am sure the kids DO talk amongst themselves.
I took ds1 with me to an event at ds2s preschool. Siblings are usually invited, so lots of parents and older children are usually present. Upon seing my son, another child (much older than ds1) grabbed hold of his mum and said excitedly about my ds1 "mummy mummy look, that is the boy who is a genious".

I am shocked at so many of the comments on this thread. It is amazing what people bring themselves to say. I honestly cannot remember anybody saying anything like this to me.

The one remark I DO remember from when ds1 was around 4 months old, was a mum stating proudly that she was minimizing her dds milk because she did not want her to develop fatty deposits, so that she could be as slim as herself.

A lady joined our post natal group and joined in a chat I was having with a friend whose baby is a wk older than mine, 6 mo. My friend's baby is very very small, on about the 1st centile, dd is a chubba. I'm very conscious that she worries, so whenever she says something like "oh little Ninky does sit up well doesn't she, Ds just can't do it yet" I make a point of telling her dd can't roll yet, whereas her Ds can. Subtly obviously.

Anyway, a convo along these lines is taking place and she is telling us that she had just been to get Ds weighed and he still wasn't putting.on.weight, she was a little forlorn. New lady chimes in with "how old did you say he was? 6 months?! You're kidding me, he's tiny!! My Ds was bigger than him at 3 months, he's teeny! You must be so worried, I'd have hated to have a baby that small, they're meant to be.chubby etc etc."

Doh.

Yes, indeed. Ds1 is not great at football, and he says "mum, everybody says I suck at football". Somehow I think it is easier to tell a child outright when he sucks at something, if he is very good at other things....

ninky, I cant believe the gob of that woman....

Children up until the age of about 12 are very honest about their own, and others' abilities.

I'd much rather DD turn out to be friendly, kind and popular than super intelligent. I wasn't particularly popular (or super intelligent) at school and it's hard. And judging by the people I know, being friendly is just as likely to get you on in life as being clever.

I don't understand what people really mean when they say their child is advanced when they smile/walk/talk/read early. Most children will do it sooner or later, so how does it make the one who did it first special? I think children with real talents for things like maths, art, music etc speak for themselves in time.

But what are mothers for if not to burst with pride every time our children do something new?

Oh god yes, the "please show approval of my parenting" thing... Ugh. Overheard others talking about the local soft play meal deals, and how they only do fruit shoots "oh NO I couldn't POSSIBLY give that to my little darling, no WAY, they are just AWFUL..."

Well duh. It's quite possible to not give your child a fruit shoot without letting everyone else know. You just drink it yourself hide it :o

ninky I got a lot of comments like that about ds1

Why do complete strangers do that???

I once got stopped by an old bag who asked why I was wheeling round an empty pram.

It wasnt empty. ds1 was so small she couldnt see him over the pram apron.

I also had people congratulate me on my "new" baby when he was 7 months old

I absolutely agree with lequeen IME school kids all know EXACTLY which child is on which level reading book, maths or phonics group etc....caused me ds1 no end of heartache The kids with older siblings were the worst....

"my sister says thats the thick table"

"you're slow"

Awful

I think I must be odd, you know.

I just want my dc to be happy and good citizens of their world.

I dont care if they dont get a levels or degrees.

My dh's family think I am mad.

ds1 told my SIL that he wanted to drive a tesco delivery lorry (he is obsessed by trucks at the moment!) and she replied
"you cant!! Thats not a job for you!"

erm...why????

As long as they can pay their own way and enjoy their job (however menial) I genuinely dont see the issue.

It's bad enough people bragging about their children, I have a friend who frequently reminds me that she got a First in her degree. It was 15 years ago. Nobody cares!