Competitive parent comments (just for fun)

[prettymuchapixiegirl]

A few that I've come across:

"I love the way your DS is happy sitting in the buggy. My DS is never happy just sitting there like that, he is so grown up and needs constant stimulation or he gets bored"

"Oh DS, look at that slop that Pixiegirl's DS is eating, you're wondering what it is because you only have big boy food don't you?"

"To be honest I'd much rather have a child who's more average, like your DS. I think being so advanced is going to bring my DS nothing but problems when he gets to school"

All said by a "friend" who is lovely in many ways but also very competitive and our meet ups are frequently spent with her reeling off a list of what her DS is now doing, or by her making out that there's a problem because she thinks he's doing things so early....

What competitive parenting comments have you all come across?

The worst place I ever had the misfortune to be (which will show my age now) was a 15 yr school reunion. Most of the mums had photo's, newspaper clippings (I kid you not), locks of hair (to show how beautiful and blonde it was) I was child free at this point so thought Male company would be better. Spoke to one man "Where do you live now Mummyplonk?"
"moved to such-n-such last year and really like it"
"yes, we looked to move there but none of the houses where big enough for us"

gave up, finished drink, went home.

Wow at some of these comments. Particularly the special power one. Penelope - why did you not lamp her one and say "Look, I've found MY special power"?

Most of our friends seem pretty normal on this front, although I have yet to venture into the world of school obviously, although I do know someone who has insisted that each of her children were walking/talking/doing various things at an insanely early age and then looked a little silly when they in fact did said things slightly later than average.

I did come across a teeth-grittingly embarrasing mum in our doctors waiting room. They have a TV and a mum came in with a baby who must have been about 2 months old maximum. She was one of those mums who keeps up a running commentary apparently to the baby, but actually for the benefit of all around her, accompanied by furtive little glances to see if everyone is paying attention to her superior mothering skills.

She parked the pram facing the television and immediately commenced an anti-TV debate with the child.

Oh no, you are trying to watch the TV aren't you? Oh you mustn't do that. You KNOW we don't let you watch TV. TV is bad for you. Oh you naughty little thing. Look at you trying to watch the TV. I better move you away.
(Moves pram back about an inch and looks around to see if people are nodding in agreement with her parenting ethics - no-one is. Raises voice.)
Oh dear, you are determined to watch the TV aren't you? Where did you get that idea from? You are never allowed to watch TV at home. Mummy and Daddy don't watch much TV either. If you keep trying to watch the TV mummy will have to move you away.
(another furtive look followed by raising of voice to near-shout)
I'M GOING TO TURN YOU AROUND SO YOU CAN'T WATCH TV. MAYBE WE CAN READ A BOOK INSTEAD.

I was so close to starting a conversation with DS about how nobody cared but I resisted!

Having just heard an episode of 'Dragon Mother' which is being serialised on R4 this week has put all your competitive friends in the shade!

Absolutely anything that comes out of my SIL's mouth re her DS (who is very slightly younger but vastly more knowledgeable and intelligent than my DS, apparently). I had to send my DC to a private school in order to give them a chance, poor dears, they wouldn't have a hope otherwise, whereas her little darling will take over the world all on his own.

He, (D)N is a little bugger who is very badly behaved - "free spirt not to be encumbered" - and a bloody liability when out in public with him. He is violent with his sister, but no one , not anyone, is allowed to discipline him in anyway for fear of squashing his "spirit".

I'll squash his damned spirit, give me a chance please!

With DD1 I was actually proud that she was the first baby in the baby group to get a tooth - and boasted about it . I guess that makes me the embarassingly competitive parent.

Sadly my boasting opportunities were limited later as she didn't lose her first tooth until the middle of year 2.

I suspect that the comments in the OP are exaggerated albeit subtley. Most of the time people don't mean anything at all by what they say.

I don't understand the 'tooth competitiveness'. Why the fuck does it matter?

Take this comment

"I love the way your DS is happy sitting in the buggy. My DS is never happy just sitting there like that, he is so grown up and needs constant stimulation or he gets bored"

The person may have said this:

"I love the way your DS is happy sitting in the buggy. My DS is never happy just sitting there like that."

Not because she thinks that your child is a lump but because she knows her own child is hard work and she is tired of it. No offence meant. In fact she will not even remember having said it.

This is a little different,but still competetive none the less.

I was attending parents evening at DD's School, parents of another child in her class walking in behind me.

On entering the building there was a big notice telling us where to go so i stopped to read it, then set on my way to DD's class.

The next thing i hear behind me from the mother is;

"Whats wrong, does no one want to chat, Oh well maybe some parents are too tired to talk!!"

I Though WTF!!
I looked round and the head teacher was on the reception, (Who said mother had made beeline for)
There was no one else there so it was obvious that she was referring to me. (she only knows me as DD's mum, have never spoken to her)

I had no reason to go to reception as the notice told me all i needed to know. This was her way of letting me know that she was chatting to the head.

This mother lives her life stuck up the teachers arses...refers to all by thier first names and will delight anyone who will listen certain conversations she has had with Or just repeat a loud comment 3 or 4 times, just to let you know that she is on first name terms with staff

She Will spend an unnessecary amount of time chatting to teachers/head/reception staff at the end of the day, that she is usually last one to leave school.

She makes such a big deal about it, You would think she is out every weekend with them.
It is quite sad. I think she likes to make herself feel more important than she actually is as she doesn't have anything else in her life.

She does this at older Dc's school as well.

A friend went to visit the preschool DD1 goes to. I think it's lovely, lots and lots of local kids go there, never heard a bad thing about it.

She proceded to tell me how filthy it was, not stimulating enough for her DS, said 'all they do is play!' - they're 3 YEARS OLD FFS!!

She is now sending her DS to a very expensive private nursery, so much more structured don't you know. From what she's said the only difference seems to be they have tables and chairs.

Ferocious Beast, believe me, my friend did say it as I wrote it....

It's ok, Lequeen you can read 'The Hobbit' and not accelerate away from being a little girl.

I know because I read The Hobbit at 6 and still wet my knickers at lunchtime once. .

Not that my parents would have dreamed of mentioning that I was reading The Hobbit. Which proves I wasn't. Or does it? Confused myself now.

LeQueen...I'm in the same boat, yes my 7yo has read the Hobbit and Little Women but I don't talk about it in real life and keep my head well down. The other mums all know about DD as they are all parent helpers at the school and listen to her read, and I sometimes think they know more about her than me.

I have been very fortunate in that the one really competitive mother now avoids me like the plague. This was after she openly demanded in front of other parents which level of the reading tree DD was on and so I said "she's finished it". This was in reception...

If I hear other parnets brag I just nod nicely, and I really hate parents using their child's "superior intelliengence" as an excuse for having bad manners and being very selfish.

My SIL1 lives on another continent and is a great one for coming out with corkers about her DS (1 month younger than my DS) such as:

"Oh wow, DS said his first word today! And now he just keeps on saying it over and over!" (DS was 3 months old at the time. Smile and nod.)

"DS has NINE, yes NINE teeth now! How many does your DS have now AKMD?" (Answer: none and I hope it stays that way for a while!)

Since when does getting teeth indicate superior parenting? Odd.

She also got pregnant 'by accident' with her DS just after we announced that I was pregnant (her DS was significantly premature). Last year SIL3 got engaged. Shock horror, SIL1 got pregnant 'by accident' again and the baby is due 2 weeks after the wedding. SIL1 has medical issues that mean she can't carry a baby to term so the baby will be delivered by CS 2 weeks before the wedding.

When we were both pregnant she threw a major strop to my MIL saying that she hoped I didn't have a girl as she has a DS and was expecting another. I wanted to have a girl just to spite her This time round she is having a girl and my very bitchy side is hoping that the scan is wrong

She is also great at competitive illnesses and posts her entire family's medical details on Facebook, complete with temperature readings and illnesses in capitals. The first photos of her DS are captioned with "born by EMERGENCY CS" :(

I have been tempted to delete her husband from my friends because she posts vom-inducing comments about him being a super hero on his wall.

Other than my SIL... there is a woman at a baby group I go to who follows other mothers around boasting about her son's achievements and being very sorry that their babies aren't up to his level. PMSL.

Oh, just remembered the comment:

Small child rolling balls up a slide and laughing. Mother says "he knows he's breaking the laws of physics and he just loves that." He was 3.

Miggsie, I love it!! That's hilarious! Did you manage to keep a straight face?

Miggsie, that is brilliant

Must move in different circles to the rest of you. The 'oneupmanship' among the mothers I talk to at the school gates seems to focus on how dense/difficult/rude/aggressive our children are.

Also 'talents' and other things that mark them out tend to be things that are either odd or downright embarrassing (such as my youngest's ability to whistle at the age of 2, and my oldest's incredibly luxuriant body hair).

I'm not Chinese but I understand that this is something that's traditional to their culture - talking about your 'worthless' children because boasting and bigging them up in front of other people is a cultural taboo (especially if you know your child is clever and hard-working!)

My DM lived next door to a serial bragger who had a son the same age as my DB.

She used to tell my DM how her wonderful son was going to be a pilot.

He became a greengrocer

Miggsie - I would have immediately started a lecture to DSs about how he is not breaking the law of physics. I'm very keen on the law of physics not being broken.

I DID keep a straight face, because I was so stunned anyone could attribute such behaviour in a 3 year old to a knowledge of physics. I also managed to mumble "how nice" or something. It was actually DH who had difficulty breathing for some moments.

DH then exploded on the way home about balls going up slides...it was very amusing, especially when DD piped up "well the balls did all roll up, but then they came down, and I didn't think it was funny at all."

when dd1 was a baby I remember saying at a NCT group how much more awake I was feeling now we'd got her sleeping through the night and another woman saying: 'oh we don't do all that, we're just those strange people you hear about who actually like spending time with their babies in the evening'.