Competitive parent comments (just for fun)

[prettymuchapixiegirl]

A few that I've come across:

"I love the way your DS is happy sitting in the buggy. My DS is never happy just sitting there like that, he is so grown up and needs constant stimulation or he gets bored"

"Oh DS, look at that slop that Pixiegirl's DS is eating, you're wondering what it is because you only have big boy food don't you?"

"To be honest I'd much rather have a child who's more average, like your DS. I think being so advanced is going to bring my DS nothing but problems when he gets to school"

All said by a "friend" who is lovely in many ways but also very competitive and our meet ups are frequently spent with her reeling off a list of what her DS is now doing, or by her making out that there's a problem because she thinks he's doing things so early....

What competitive parenting comments have you all come across?

(if it's a standard keyboard, the arrow should be shift+6 )

I've read about half the thread and while some of the comments are funny, some of them are just mean and inconsiderate.

I saw a comedian on TV talking about someone he knew bragging about their kid saying, "Look how fast X runs he's going to be in the Olympics" to which he replied, "He's drooling too, it could be the Special Olympics".

Anytime I hear anyone bragging about their kids I think of that and giggle a little to myself.

babyphat yes i saw that, funny they had to rush little Daniel out the room but were hapy for him to pose alongside the TV which was still displaying the 'offensive' word and take money from doing the article Double standards to a whole new level! Very funny.

TyraG That is a little gem.

its good youre relaxed and dont care about school

from someone who has various tutors for primary child

never seem beans.cycling christ my weans love em

A friend of mine told me (with a straight face) that her child was potty trained day and night before the age of 1.

A lady at my NCT group is such a bragger, uncomfortably so! My DS is autistic, and we are just celebrating the 4th birthdays of all the children

Her - What did you get Mario for his birthday?

Me - another Ninky Nonky to add to his collection and a puzzle spelling his name to try and teach him what it looks like.

Her - I dont know what I am going to get DD, she is so advanced for all the toys in the shops.

DS is a rote learner and can recite off numbers up to 150 and has been able to for a long time - this pisses her off no end and her face when he did it for the first time was priceless. She said 'I thought he was supposed to have something wrong with him'

Kissy kissy.

My SIL is reverse competitive:

"Oh, your DS eats so well. DCs would never eat that."

Me: "Um...toast?"

SIL: "Oh they won't eat anything. They're so picky. They are The Pickiest Kids Alive."

Literally every single family gathering includes a recitation of the things they won't eat and a labeling of them as The Pickiest Kids Alive.

I've also gotten the whole "oh you and DS to so many fun things! I wish I could only work part time/didn't care what I looked like/were that creative."

Yes, pulling out the fingerpaint and paper takes a creative genius, doesn't it?

Oh dear, I'm a bit scared that I come off as a competetive parent after reading this thread.

I love to talk about what dd has done with friends from baby group, and we often compare who's dc is doing what.

I just get really excited when dd does stuff - she's 16 mo, so seems to learn something else every single day, and it fascinates me.

And I love comparing, not because I think dd is more advanced than other babies her age, just because I find it really interesting how they develop - one has been walking since she was 10 mo, but her language isn't good, another is signing lots of words, but can't pull herself up yet, my dd is just taking steps, but can say a lot of words. I just find it really interesting how babies develop in such different ways, yet we all obsess about what "the book" says and what milestones are meant to be achieved and when.

[Disclaimer: obv my dd is a genius in my eyes ]

Me and a friend were talking about this the other day, neither of us can be particularly bothered to be competitive but we do like to compare what's happening too.

For example, my DD was crawling all around her DD in the living room. Clearly my DD is a genius for teaching her DD the basics of crawling

Likewise, she is raising a genius baby who makes lots more noises than my DD, and so is teaching my DD to talk. It's just so obvious

My DS yr 2 so doing lots of 'tests' in prep for SATS.(apparently - see below!)

From previous school reports: Maths good, Literacy, um well....yes!!

See DS classmate and mum in the shops today - I do not know this mum btw, our DS' are classmates, and she asks how DS finding the 'tests'.

ME: 'eh?'
Other Mum (OM): "Oh yes I help once a week, as a volunteer, their preparing for SATS, your DS still finds writing hard doesn't he?"
ME: 'oh right, and yes he does'
OM: "My DS said they did a Maths test Friday and did extremely well, 24/36 - I spoke to teacher who says thats a 2A"
ME: 'OK'
OM: "What did DS get"
ME: 'I don't know'

OM asks DS who promptly says "Oh mummy I forgot to tell you, I did a maths test Friday and I got 30 right and my teacher was really pleased with me"

OM makes her excuses and leaves.

Something tells me she only made conversation to lord it how 'clever' her DS is.

My kids are all so bizarre that I've given up trying to win.

RMCW Wed 09-Feb-11 17:17:25
If the baby has acne and is called Herod???
"What beautiful hair he has!"

I nearly snorted my tea out my nose when I read that!!!! My DS had hideous acne all over his forehead and cradle cap where the acne left off, at about 6 weeks and has a very odd unusual name! (Not as bad as Herod but openly hated on MN!) He also had lots of dark hair which people always comment on!

(People actually used to say he was lovely. I used to smile and say thanks while thinking 'he looks bloody awful')

I was nearly in tears telling a friend a few months back about how difficult I was finding things with my 2 month old particularly in relation to colic and getting him to sleep. A mutual friend overheard this conversation and thought it would be helpful to say "ohhhh I'd love to be able to advise you but my DS has always been so content. I don't know anything about settling a crying baby as a result." She then went on to tell me that she was finding being a mum so easy she had time for lots of new hobbies and had never felt so well rested. It made me feel a thousand times worse.

mummy in Business class with her two children asked all the passengers to clap when Tabitha did a poo in her potty (in the aisle while we were eating)then asked Tabitha to show us her ballet steps and Rufus read his book out loud for the 6 hour flight. Harry Potter shit at the best of times without being recited loudly by an 8 year old who isn't actually a very good reader.

Oh god... would like to be a fly on that wall when those two are teenagers. Poor things.

This is a great thread!

I've found that when you have a new baby, OMs can be competetive in a I-know-everything-and-you-know-nothing-way.

My DP and I were waiting for a lift once with our newborn baby on a once in a lifetime trip to the shops without the other DCs.

This other woman was oohing and ahhing over DD in pram being very OTT asking loads of questions about DD (very OTT). Eventually (I kenw it was coming) she said "just wait till you've got two - that's when it gets really hard". We smiled and my DP replied "You're not kidding - this is our 4th" her face dropped, she turned away and didn't speak after that! She just wanted to have the upper hand.

Have noticed this at toddler groups - the only mums who ask you how many DCs you've got are the ones who think they have more than you

OMG jasminetom that is hilarious and quite disgusting! (though I respectfully disagree that HP is crap)

whatagradea I sure he is beautiful I cant tell how happy I would be if his name is Judas!!!!!????????

My ds1 was a funny looking little mite, it must be said

Funnily enough, my 2 ds's have very traditional (ie.boring) names which MN hates too

Cant win, eh?

misfit My dsis was very smug before I had ds2.

She has 2 ds's - both planned - but always made sure I knew she had it soooo hard with 2. Bear in mind, both hers slept, fed well and were put in daycare when they were 1 even though she is a SAHM

My DSIS [rising at 10am] when we had been up at 7am on holiday with both sets of three dcs.
"Oh my children always get their own breakfast".
Also...with reference to ds1 who was 9, and still playing with toys.
"oh,you are so lucky to have a child who likes playing - mine never liked to play with toys." and next sentence " He's rather young for his age don't you think, mine never liked toys at that age" She's lovely really

Also dear bossy cousin's take on healthy eating.
"I always find a smoothie a great way to make your children eat Avocado".
Er, my children eat Avocado au naturel, they don't need it smoothied. They love avocado anyway. Even if your five children hate it.

Re the competitive teeth thing, I always used to say my twins were dentally retarded. That normally shut the conversation down for a while

I hate comments like "young for his age" , swan. What does that even mean? And I dearly hope DS still likes playing at 9...whatever would I do with him otherwise?