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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to dislike/hate One Born Every Minute?

52 replies

MrsRichardHammond · 08/02/2011 14:05

Because it makes me cry about how diabolical my own labour and birth were?

I have only watched a couple of episodes but my facebook page is FULL of people yabbering on about it and it is the text equivilent of watching the programme so i can't avoid it.

OP posts:
3timesalady · 08/02/2011 14:38

I so sympathise hun but keep in mind any labour/birth that produces a healthy baby is a magnificent achievement. There's no prize given out for doing it 'better' than anyone else. Also remember they show a few mins of a birth, not the full-on-hideousness so it's all a bit rose-tinted.

That said, I don't watch it either, can't bear the bloody show. And I had 3 ecs so just goes to show!

Just customise your chat to avoid this topic would be my advice. And try to find the good bits of your own experience too :)

GiddyPickle · 08/02/2011 14:40

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MrSpoc · 08/02/2011 14:42

I bloody hate it. My wife is addicted. we ended up having an argument last night because "your a man and will never understand the pain we went through" also "why do you not appreciate what i did"

and "why didnt you cry at the births"

My children are 2.5 and 10months.

Bloody programme should be banned.

lockets · 08/02/2011 14:43

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lockets · 08/02/2011 14:46

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altinkum · 08/02/2011 14:46

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supadupapoopascoopa · 08/02/2011 14:49

YANBU but i disagree. I love it.
TTC at the moment and i would watch it all day long if i could.
It does throw up questions about my birth with DS1, but i'm enjoying going back over it all. I was induced and hemorrhaged but other than that wasn't too bad.

NicknameTaken · 08/02/2011 14:54

YANBU. I don't watch it. I never went into productive labour and had an emergency CS instead. I felt like I cheated and was cheated - DD is probably going to be my only child, and I didn't get this major life experience (horrible as it may be for many women). I'm over it now, but I'm afraid that if I watch this, those feelings will come back.

Chil1234 · 08/02/2011 15:03

YANBU... No way am I watching programmes about birthin' no babies.... bad enough doing it.

FindingStuffToChuckOut · 08/02/2011 15:07

I'm 6 months PG - I've not watched one episode, and don't feel at all inclined to watch it. Might be more interested if I wasn't PG?

Bumperrlicious · 08/02/2011 15:09

I had two completely 'natural' births, 2nd at home in a pool and I still hated giving birth, every minute of it, so no way would I watch this programme.

Original poster
MrsRichardHammond · 08/02/2011 15:14

Phew thanks for reassuring me on that! :)

Giddypickle - i've not really spoken to anyone medical about it tbh and as it was coming up for 6 years ago i think it may now be a bit late to do so. IF I have any more i will talk it through with them then and make them aware of how horrendous it was (although I would assume my notes would show this!)

OP posts:
GMajor7 · 08/02/2011 15:30

YANBU. It is not a realistic portrayal of what goes on.

I had DD at this hospital and after being left fully dilated for over an hour and a half whilst everyone scratched their heads ended up with an emcs due to undiagnosed breech presentation. Still reeling a year later.

Honeybee79 · 08/02/2011 15:32

YANBU. I can't really stand to watch it.

My DS was born 4 months ago after a crash C-section - it just brings back all the guilt, anxiety and trauma. Makes me want to cry! Saw a little bit of an episode where everyone was going on about how well one lady was doing and how she should be so proud of herself - just made me feel like a bit of a failure. I know that says more about my emotions at the moment than the programme but, even so, I can't stand it.

skidd · 08/02/2011 15:36

MrSpoc "why didnt you cry at the births" Oh God I say this to my DH every time Blush No wonder he goes to bed at the 2nd ad break...

Ariesgirl · 08/02/2011 15:41

Oh my God. I hope there are not first time pregnant women reading this. I feel sick with dread now. And I'm not even pregnant Shock

Rangirl · 08/02/2011 15:42

YADNBU I found it very difficult watching childbirth on TV even in drama after my experiences.DS1 stillborn and then 2 EMCS Even tho I knew ,better than anyone,that the fact that DS2 and DD were healthy babies was all that mattered ,I still felt (very deep down )that the childbirth thing was something I had failed.When my DSIL had her baby and my FIL who I am close to said something like 'she did so well' I had to get out the room before I burst! I can now see 12 years down the line that this was all a natural reaction to my experiences So I would not have been able to watch a show like this then.Can you talk through your experiences with someone,maybe someone one step removed

Newgolddream · 08/02/2011 15:46

I feel so sad that some women feel guilt and feel "cheated" if things dont go to plan - at the end of the day a healthy baby is all taht matters, and Ive had 2 fairly long induced labours, icluding a back to back. DS 3 was going the same until he got stuck and I had to have an EMCS, then because he was so stuck still had to be dragged out by forceps, horrific really, he had an apgar score of 3.

But at the end of the day he was fine, I was traumitised initially but got over it.

But everyones right - the programme is carefully edited - so is not entirely realistic.

And OP - its never too late to talk to anyone about how you are feeling, whether you plan to have any more or not.

PlanetEarth · 08/02/2011 15:49

I can't watch it - it brings everything back, and not in a good way Shock.

altinkum · 08/02/2011 15:49

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JennyPiccolo · 08/02/2011 15:56

I get really loopy watching it as well, after forceps delivery 3 months ago. Still quite raw feelings there.

Honeybee79 · 08/02/2011 15:59

I don't think it's about feeling cheated. After all, I know plenty of women who have had "natural" births and had a horrible, horrible time. I think it's more about feeling traumatised and, in view, it's not necessarily the level of pain that causes the trauma but rather how you're treated. I was left on a post natal ward for 8 hours while in labour, with no pain relief, after they had sent my DH home. The consultant also shouted at me as I was being rushed into theatre for a c-section. It's experiences like that that stay with you.

Rangirl - sorry to hear about your loss.

BettyCash · 08/02/2011 16:02

YANBU - labour is not entertainment

MrSpoc · 08/02/2011 16:03

Skidd - I feel so sorry for yuo husband Smile

Not sure why i did not cry, may be becasue it was a happy time not a sad one. but wife does not understand this.

3timesalady · 08/02/2011 16:24

There is no guilt - please - in having a c/s. I had 3 (all elective for medical reasons) and I had wonderful, calm births with baby straight to breast. I so wish women wouldn't beat themselves if they don't have a vaginal birth - you don't get a badge of wonderment if you do push it out, the baby isn't any healthier/happier/cuter so please please please don't hold up a vag-birth as the epitome of succesful birthing. Every birth that results in a healthy baby (rangirl I'm so sorry for you) is a wonderful, amazing, miraculous thing and we should celebrate that fact.

Life as a Mummy is hard enough without delivering Guilt with the placenta.

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