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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Looks like IABU for being chubby

108 replies

justcarrots29 · 07/02/2011 14:49

I am fat and people hate fat people. That has been proven in a recent thread. I feel like a failure and a loser because I struggle to not to eat delicious things. Fuck.

Where do I get the motivation to lose 1.5 stone? How do you all stay motivated to say 'no' to all the the nice food and meals and puddings? I expect to get nicely toasted for being lazy and weak willed except I do keep very active (but certainly eat too much).

Go ahead - flame me.

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfWitches · 07/02/2011 18:15

I had surgery for it.

I see surgery as doing something about it.

I know all too well about the mental health aspect of extreme morbid obesity. Of being so mentally fucked up that you are actually happy to die.

I was 36 stone.

You still have to do something, if you are not happy, or stop moaning.

And there is still no reason at ALL for other people to be spiteful or to give a shit.

Like I say - we're not going to run Tesco out of food, so why do they give a crap?

softpaw · 07/02/2011 18:22

ok best answer.i never sit down,and think everyone hates me ..and i miss everything til next day x

Emmanana · 07/02/2011 18:22

Softpaw your post came straight after mine. Sorry if I gave the impression I was having a pop at you.
It was a general comment on why people are nasty and sneery.
Hi if you're new Smile

Underachieving · 07/02/2011 18:23

NancyDrewHasAClue I am dreadfully sorry you misread me. Last time I posted anything explainatory on AIBU I was told off for overexplaining, thus being misread as patronising. This time it seems, in my keenness not to be perceived to be talking to you like idiots, I have under explained and confused you. If it's not patronising it's over complicated eh, terribly sorry.

The part that everyone else seemed to get and you seemed not to was that I am saying you Nancy, as a hater, are scared of being that fat person. That's why you hate. I believe it's a phenomenon called psycholocial distancing.

happiestblonde · 07/02/2011 18:26

This is not a view I subscribe to but I think people are rude about overweight people because a) costs to NHS b) whining about not being able to control it so seen as weakness.

Not good though.

Emmanana · 07/02/2011 18:28

Underachieving
Where wer you the other day? I posted this on a thread, and couldn't for the life of me what my friend called it Smile

A psychologist friend has a fridge magnet, with the words:

Criticism tells you everything you need to know about yourself. so listen carefully. The faults you point out in others are more often than not your own. The way you speak about the world is the way the world will speak about you. How can life look up if you keep putting everyone down?

QOD · 07/02/2011 18:29

"anyone who wants to sneer and laugh at and be disgusted by fat people is a bitch / bastard. They choose to be spiteful about the appearance of someone else, when it doesn't affect them one little bit. I can only assume that they do that because they get pleasure from hurting people's feelings. They enjoy seeing the upset in someone's face. It makes them happy to hurt someone's feelings. There is no other explanation for choosing to be nasty to someone over something that does not affect you"

Hecate I love you :o

There is definetly (omg I cannot spell that!!) a hatred for fat people that comes up over and over again both on here, but even more, on that piece of crap paper daily mail online. The comments posted by readers following on from any "story" about fat people are hate filled. I like your take on it.

softpaw · 07/02/2011 18:29

emma..yeah.i'm new.but i have lots to say!xx

mutznutz · 07/02/2011 18:33

I don't hate fat or thin people...actually I don't hate anyone.

But what I actually can't stand in anyone is self loathing. It's one of the single most unattractive things anyone can be.

Be who you are and accept yourself or put the effort in to make a change. No-one's going to do it for you.

NancyDrewHasaClue · 07/02/2011 18:36

Gosh underachieving you clearly seem to know something about that other great psychological theory: passive aggression.

specialmagiclady · 07/02/2011 18:37

The only way to get thinner is eat less, do more. I got together with some friends last year and we agreed to weigh ourselves and write it down in a book. I lost 2 stone over the year. I'm now back in my wedding dress and wishing I hadn't ditched all the clothes that I chucked out because I was too fat. I'm also fitter than I've ever been.

I really didn't do anything but a bit of exercise and STOP EATING WHEN FULL.

(I'm not doing so well this year at that - comfort/boredom eating is a bastard).

Ooh hypnotherapy helped a lot.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 07/02/2011 18:39

nicely done there yourself, Nancy Grin

NancyDrewHasaClue · 07/02/2011 18:50

Aw hecate was it the use of "gosh" - did I overplay it?! Grin

twopeople · 07/02/2011 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

HecateQueenOfWitches · 07/02/2011 19:07

Grin nancy.

twopeople - my late grandad's gp had what he called the miracle diet.

Have your usual meals.

On a tea plate.

No snacking in between.

He guaranteed it would work Grin

mutznutz · 07/02/2011 19:13

Fat people do get a lot of bashing and it's unfair...but then again so do smokers.

It's a similar thing really except smokers seem to be a fairer game for negative comments.

Both seem to 'disgust' people

Both get accused of being smelly

Both are (mostly) self inflicted

Both cost the NHS money (short or long term)

Both shorten your life expectancy

Both take a hell of a lot of will power and effort to change.

Jellykat · 07/02/2011 19:20

I think some 'plumper' ladies look beautiful, think Adele and Dawn French..It's how you personally feel that counts isn't it?

The generalized 'socially acceptable' view works the other way too - my DS1 is 6ft 2" and weighs just over 9 1/2 stone, despite eating like a horse.He won't ever reveal legs/arms even on the beach, because he feels everyone will be taking the piss for being so stick thin. Confused

mutznutz · 07/02/2011 19:29

Adele is 'plump' but Dawn French is without doubt very morbidly obese. Have you seen her recently? She's gained a hell of a lot of weight.

maddy68 · 07/02/2011 19:33

buy smaller plates
eat less carbs, more protein and veg

annoyingdevil · 07/02/2011 19:43

Since when has an extra 1.5 stone been classed as fat? You do realise, that slightly overweight people tend to live longer than obese / underweight people

mutznutz · 07/02/2011 19:45

That would depend on the weight the op is now I guess. If I gained a stone and a half I would most definitely be fat.

bettybosseye · 07/02/2011 19:54

Sorry op but i sounds like you're feeling sorry for yourself.
People are mean about other people all the time for all sorts of things.
You sound as if you're lacking self confidence. Unless your weight is affecting your health then sod what other people think.
The more you listen to negativity the more depressed you'll be so you'll comfort eat, put on more weight and on and on it will go.
You could have the perfect figure, whatever that is, and people would be mean about something else.

Jellykat · 07/02/2011 19:59

Yes mutznutz,but i still think Dawn French is beautiful! maybe it's because she comes across as self confident..

I agree with betty.

mutznutz · 07/02/2011 20:02

Yes, I think she's definitely pretty.

pigletmania · 07/02/2011 20:08

I am erm chubby too, and need to loose weight so your not alone Grin. I look like I am 6 months pg, wish I was, I have an enourmous food baby in there Grin