Looks like IABU for being chubby

[justcarrots29]

I am fat and people hate fat people. That has been proven in a recent thread. I feel like a failure and a loser because I struggle to not to eat delicious things. Fuck.

Where do I get the motivation to lose 1.5 stone? How do you all stay motivated to say 'no' to all the the nice food and meals and puddings? I expect to get nicely toasted for being lazy and weak willed except I do keep very active (but certainly eat too much).

Go ahead - flame me.

You have absolutely every right to be whatever shape you are.

I reckon hate is derrived from fear or a sense of feeling personally threatened. Whether that's something huge like racism (obvious link to xenophobia) or something minor like the woman at work with the squeaky voice (which invades ones personal peace) I don't think I have found any kind of hate that I couldn't trace to fear or fears lesser cousin, feeling disturbed.

There's a lot of truth in the saying that the worst homophobes are the closet queers. Take comfort in your power when the superiour little mares outside school sneer at you, they do it because you're scaring them. It's rather rediculous when you think about it isn't it. I find little statements like "steady now, you are one chocolate cake away from the slippery slope yourself y'know" tend to make me feel oodles better.

I like you am a wee bit chubby and whilst I dont like myself much right now I certainly dont hate you or any other fat people and the only people who do have some fairly severe mental issues and need to spend some time with a councellor looking at their tendency towards projection and transference. Hating someone for being fat is like hating someone for being depressed. Ridiculous.

To the woman who said she wouldnt leave the house till she lost some weight. Your kids are clearly suffering (no holidays etc) which is very wrong, you will feel worse about yourself for doing it, you will eat more and you will get worse. Get dressed, get the kids up and walk to the nearest park. Race around with them as much as you can then come back. If you get hungry get in the bath, read a book, get on mn, wash the dishes, do whatever you have to but get moving and do NOT give in to the instinct to hide away because of your size. It wont help.

Dittany: Someone asked me when I was going back to slimming world today - just out of the blue, got me thinking. Then I read on the threads about fat people being lazy etc ( no one's fault btw). I am whining - I know I am but sometimes it makes me feel better for a while! Silly excuses but I actually feel like I am offending people when I am eating fairly normally and they are all 'dieting' and are getting pretty damn slim now. Thanks for the info.
Underachieving - Made me laugh - will definitely try to think more like you!

What recent thread?

Yeah. Some people 'hate' fat people. There's no denying that.

It's not actually hate as such. It's the person doing the sneering who has something wrong with them, in their life, that makes them want to try to make others feel bad. They choose fat because you get into trouble if you choose black, or disabled...

Also fat is something that they consider you do to yourself, which in their eyes makes you fair game.

Why someone cares about the size of others I have no idea.

I am massive. I have been considerably bigger still.

I have never yet run Tesco out of food.

Nobody need fear.

Anyone who wants to sneer and laugh at and be disgusted by fat people is a bitch / bastard. They choose to be spiteful about the appearance of someone else, when it doesn't affect them one little bit. I can only assume that they do that because they get pleasure from hurting people's feelings. They enjoy seeing the upset in someone's face. It makes them happy to hurt someone's feelings. There is no other explanation for choosing to be nasty to someone over something that does not affect you.

What a shitty person someone must be to be like that, eh?

I refuse to be upset by someone who is trying to hurt me because it gives them pleasure.

underachieving what are you talking about? People don't feel threatened by fat people

I'd hate to be fat myself but I certainly don't hate fat people. I do however have a dislike for those that are lazy and don't take responsibility for their failings.

I don't care what anyone weighs as long as they are a decent person.

Why nancy - what does it hurt you if they dont? Other then the rather obvious and in most cases bollocks argument about the NHS.

The secret op is finding an eating plan that suits you. I found slimming world really great. No need to ever be hungry but you need willpower too.

nancy drew- being fat is 'a failing' is it? Says who? Why would the body store fat if it were a 'failing'.And are you saying fat people are all lazy??

HecateQueenofWitches I loved your post. I feel better already. I am not hurting anyone, my husband still fancies me and I try to dress nice etc

See Nancy - this is when I start to feel bad - have I failed as a person because I need to lose 21 pounds or even if I had to lose 100 pounds? Why? I do not really feel the need to lose it but I do feel the need not to be viewed as a failure??

I think taking a dislike to someone for being weak-willed is a little unreasonable.

No I am not saying all fat people are lazy. Some are.

Being fat is a failing if you are unhappy with the situation. If you are happy great.

It doesn't "hurt me" if people don't take responsibility for themselves, but I do find it extremely tiresome listening to people talk about how hard it is for them to lose weight as they tuck into another packet of biscuits. For the tenth time.

Look it is hard to maintain/lose weight. If it was easy the vast majority of people would not be overweight.

If you are happy being overweight = great.

If you'd prefer to be smaller, but actually don't care that much = great.

If you are overweight because of a disability/medical condition = then I sympathise.

But if you are fat because you eat 4000 calories per day and think that walking a mile to school is "exercise" then please, please do not moan about how unfair it is.

I think assuming someone is fat because they are lazy is unreasonable. My mum is overweight and yet works all day in a very physical job on her feet. She doesnt eat a massive amount, drinks slightly more then she should and doesnt have the physical resources to also go to the gym at fifty one years of age after being on her feet lifting and carrying for eight hours. She has pcos and struggles terribly to keep her weight down. She is very far from lazy.

mmm. Thanks for clarification, I actually think that is a fair point, although I still think you are being very harsh.

Why do you feel bad because of the opinion of some random person who you don't know and who doesn't matter to you?

Don't allow anyone that power over you.

Not a poster or number of posters on here, not a stranger on the bus - nobody.

Dittany I agree. As I said I don't dislike anyone because of their weight.

But I do dislike the "nothing is my fault" attitude that is displayed by some who are overweight.

Equally I dislike people who complain about having no money but eat takeaway three nights a week or that their child is intollerably grumpy but they wont enforce a bedtime.

Im a bit worried why anyone would 'hate' fat people?

I still dont get why you dislike it so much. Sure its annoying but it dont hurt you. So what if someone else eats too much takeaway or doesnt enforce a bedtime. Tell them to get over it and move on - it doesnt make em bad people.

Nancy - I actually agree with that.

If you are happy, then great.

If you are not happy and you choose to moan about it to me but refuse to do anything to change the situation - I will reach a point where I tell you to put up or shut up.

This is not specifically about weight, but is about any problem. At all.

If you can do something but choose not to, then don't choose to moan endlessly.

That has happened to me. I used to say I wanted to kill myself. Over and over again. In the end, my dad turned round and said "Put up or shut up." Those exact words.

I chose to 'put up' as it happens - not very successfully, obviously. I'm not posting from the great beyond.

But once I had recovered, I saw it for the harsh but necessary wake up call I needed.

I think that's a totally seperate thing from someone choosing to be nasty to someone because of their weight. And my opinion on that is above

justcarrots I don't view you as a failure for being overweight.

If you regularly declared a keeness to lose weight but then declined to actually do anything, then tbh I would consider that a failing.

ormirian if that was directed at me, let me clarify: I don't dislike people who are weak willed. But for gods sake admit it. I can relate to someone who says "I need to lose weight but christ I just love cake/wine/pizza".

What I cannot realte to (and therefore find difficult to like) is someone who says "It's just so hard to lose weight, no one understands, I hardly eat anything" and they're telling you this over a big mac and fries.

I do think there is a sort of person who actively dislikes the overweight. They find them aesthetically unpleasing and annoying. I think it's easy to feel that way if you've always been slim - beleiving that people only get fat by chowing down on pies and chips and pints of grease, and never walking further than the local chippy. Whereas the reality is that for most overweight people, the weight goes on slowly over the years from simply eating a little more than you use.