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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if your children are 9&12 you should have a job??!!

91 replies

stoppinchingthedummy · 06/02/2011 14:47

Ok i dont want a flaming and this is more about a family member than anyone else but i need to ask

Ok my aunt and uncle live in the same town as me ..we dont see each other much mainly because were busy BUT my auntie drives me mad ...She is about 42 ,hasnt ever worked since her dc were born and im not sure if she did before that tbh ...Her dc are 9&12 and she just spends her whole life busybodying in other peoples lives!! Petitions,letters to various mp's about one thing or another ,standing outside the school gate from 2.45pm every day usually with some kind of clip board about something or other!!

It gets my back up more because she seems to think everything is a competition , i run an after school club and all of a sudden she decides she will write to all parents at her local school about starting one there Hmm then when the response is low she keeps a low profile for a couple of days then all of a sudden when we have a new enquiry she makes a new poster for the school one and tries to encourage the children from our club to go to that one Hmm(no encouragement needed as school one is always going to be cheaper) It wouldnt bother me if it was someone directly involved with school attempting to set one up but why is she always involved in everything.

Then the latest thing is childminding ...but not registered as far as i know (although ive no way of finding out) she just gets the parents to pay her cash then if anyone asks she tells them she does it as a favour or to play with her dc!! AIBU to be feeling like she needs to get herself a job that occupies her mind ??

OP posts:
Lulumaam · 06/02/2011 14:50

YABU, it's not really your concern, except for unregistered childminding - whihc if she is doing, she does have a job

you sound like you just don't like her or her choices

people like her, 'busybodies' who write to MPs, set up petitions, try to make changes are to be admired IMO more than vilified, especially if trying to make better provison for the community ...

you are not the only allowed to do something like run an after school club

why is she always involved in everything you ask? because she has the time and the will and the inclination, which i think is great

you sound like you have sour grapes over everything she does.. is there a back story?

TBH, my DCs are 11 and 5 , if i could give up my work, i would and spend more time volunteering

marmy55 · 06/02/2011 14:51

as long as she doesnt sponge off the state, its up to her

check on the OFSTED website to see if she is registered (I think)

Jajas · 06/02/2011 14:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
stoppinchingthedummy · 06/02/2011 14:51

oh i should add either a job outside the home or at least register as a childminder properly !!

OP posts:
mmmitsdelicious · 06/02/2011 14:51

YABU.
None of your business.

Ooopsadaisy · 06/02/2011 14:52

YABU.

It isn't any of your business. It's her life.

Personally I would go out of my mind if I didn't work so I always have (even when it was 8 hours a week when DS was a few months old). But if someone else doesn't want to then it's their business.

I am also 42 with teens but I know of friends who don't work if they don't want or need to. Some seem quite content and others throw themselves into community projects - that's fine.

Whatever fires your cannon.

usualsuspect · 06/02/2011 14:52

I think she can do what she likes really ..keep your beak out

BeerTricksPotter · 06/02/2011 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pagwatch · 06/02/2011 14:53

My children are 17, 14 and 8 and i don't have paid employment.

but that falls into the category of no one elses fucking business. unless you are giving me money - which you are not- how i spend my day is not your concern. Not even close

QuintessentialShadows · 06/02/2011 14:53

...but you are busybodying about her life, not? Confused

marmy55 · 06/02/2011 14:53

tbh i wouldnt work if i didnt want extra to spend, it does nothing for me mentally. Mind you i might change my mind sitting at home all day feeling my brain turn to mush

Original poster
stoppinchingthedummy · 06/02/2011 14:53

Jajas sorry havnt read another one ...Lulu i know im not the only one infact im not there are loads around me its the way she does it ...your right there is a back story ..yet another thread i shouldnt have started but i have my answer iabu so i will stop asking myself now :D

OP posts:
grottielottie · 06/02/2011 14:54

You seem very concerned with how she spends her time and she's the busy body?

mutznutz · 06/02/2011 14:55

Neck your in wind are all appropriate words here Hmm

TheButterflyCollector · 06/02/2011 14:55

Can someone tell me whether or not an aunt works or is supported by her partner or husband is anyone's business but her own? Why can't people respect others' lifestyle choices and leave them to it? It's control freakery!

Original poster
stoppinchingthedummy · 06/02/2011 14:56

Yea she is im only asking the question about someone who needs to tell everyone whats happening daily ..i dont have time to busybody in her life ...

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 06/02/2011 14:56
Biscuit
Chandon · 06/02/2011 14:56

yabu and bitchy

BeerTricksPotter · 06/02/2011 14:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ooopsadaisy · 06/02/2011 14:58

Are you, perhaps, a little jealous then?

It is sounding a little that way.

Is that the back story?

TrillianAstra · 06/02/2011 14:58

She could still do all of the things that annoy you if she had a job.

This isn't about her having a job at all.

trefusis · 06/02/2011 14:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TwoIfBySea · 06/02/2011 14:59

If she is not claiming benefits then it is entirely up to her and her dh/p what they decide their set up will be.

I think it is a wonderful thing to be given the choice and she is perfectly entitled to be a SAHM.

Before I was a single parent I was a SAHM and I loved it. I started my studies at the OU, volunteered with Guide Dogs as well as at dts' school when they eventually went. If I didn't have to work then I would still be a SAHM, right up until my dts are in high school.

If she is a busybody then leave her be. If she annoys you then walk the other way.

theresapotatoundermysink · 06/02/2011 14:59

YABU. Isn't it better for somebody who doesn't work to keep themselves busy? Would you rather she was sat at home watching Jeremy Kyle all day?

GandalfyCarawak · 06/02/2011 15:00

Sounds like she's doing a lot of community work which gets on your nerves. Which is strange.