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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if your children are 9&12 you should have a job??!!

91 replies

stoppinchingthedummy · 06/02/2011 14:47

Ok i dont want a flaming and this is more about a family member than anyone else but i need to ask

Ok my aunt and uncle live in the same town as me ..we dont see each other much mainly because were busy BUT my auntie drives me mad ...She is about 42 ,hasnt ever worked since her dc were born and im not sure if she did before that tbh ...Her dc are 9&12 and she just spends her whole life busybodying in other peoples lives!! Petitions,letters to various mp's about one thing or another ,standing outside the school gate from 2.45pm every day usually with some kind of clip board about something or other!!

It gets my back up more because she seems to think everything is a competition , i run an after school club and all of a sudden she decides she will write to all parents at her local school about starting one there Hmm then when the response is low she keeps a low profile for a couple of days then all of a sudden when we have a new enquiry she makes a new poster for the school one and tries to encourage the children from our club to go to that one Hmm(no encouragement needed as school one is always going to be cheaper) It wouldnt bother me if it was someone directly involved with school attempting to set one up but why is she always involved in everything.

Then the latest thing is childminding ...but not registered as far as i know (although ive no way of finding out) she just gets the parents to pay her cash then if anyone asks she tells them she does it as a favour or to play with her dc!! AIBU to be feeling like she needs to get herself a job that occupies her mind ??

OP posts:
mistletoekisses · 06/02/2011 15:01

YABVU

Good on her for trying to put back into her community. What is your deal? You're the one who sounds as though you have too much time on your hands. Get over it, her life, her choices.

warthog · 06/02/2011 15:02

green-eyed monster. each to their own and all that.

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 06/02/2011 15:04

Attention seeking title that has zilch to do with the 'problem'.

Lulumaam · 06/02/2011 15:05

so there's a back story.. which of course colours your view

she sounds like she could be PITA but she's not sat on her arse whinging and wasting her life, she's getting out there doing positive stuff

you need to move on and whatever crap there is between you, either deal with it or cut her out if she pisses you off enough for you to start a thread dissecting her life which sounds actually fine to me

Pictish · 06/02/2011 15:09

I agree with the others. Why should she have a job? Because you say so??

Mind your own for goodness sake!

maighdlin · 06/02/2011 15:09

YABU

maybe she did try to get a job but couldn't because she did stay at home for years, no jobs going in her field, economic downturn etc. and she decided to do other things with her life that would keep her busy.

if she just sat on her arse all day then you would have a point but she actually uses her time well.

Violethill · 06/02/2011 15:15

Up to her, provided she's not sponging off the state, or interfering to a really annoying degree in school life etc. And even if she is, you should feel sorry for her rather than angry- it's perhaps a lack of other things going on in her life

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 06/02/2011 15:15

My two are 9 and 12.

I've never worked, in fact I spend my days making the dint on my side of the sofa bigger, somedays I branch out and venture upstairs to make the dint on my side of the bed deeper too

On very rare occasions, if i'm feeling active I tell people who moan about it to mind their own fucking business Smile

inthesticks · 06/02/2011 15:20

Perhaps you wish you could choose not to have a job?
Many schools, especially small primaries, depend heavily on parents who volunteer to help in school and organise stuff. It's often thankless and not very interesting but these people do it for the benefit of all the children.

expatinscotland · 06/02/2011 15:21

YABU.

It's none of your business so why do you care?

Get a life!

If you don't like her, stop hanging out with her.

gordyslovesheep · 06/02/2011 15:27

YABU for all the reasons stated :)

shinyshoes · 06/02/2011 15:27

ApocalypseCheeseToastie

You are my new best friend you have just described me to a tee.

Loving the honesty Grin

mutznutz · 06/02/2011 15:32

I'm a SAHM. My kids are 19, 11 and 8yrs. My husband works and earns enough money to support us all.

We both agree that as we have no family available to help out...and we don't want to leave our kids with a childminder during the 12/13 weeks holiday, I'm going to be a SAHM for a few years yet.

To fill my time and to keep me 'fairly' sane, I volunteer at the school and am their vice chair of governors.

So take me out and shoot me...along with your wicked Aunt...who by the way, I'm almost the same age as Grin

FellatioNelson · 06/02/2011 15:41

Well my children are 18, 15 and 11 and I still haven't got one! I would quite like one now, but for all kinds of complicated logistical reasons it would create more problems than it solves, and I probably wouldn't be much better off for it, so it's hardly worth the effort.

But then we've always managed on one salary so I don't feel guilty. Just bored.

GiddyPickle · 06/02/2011 15:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madwomanintheattic · 06/02/2011 15:58

she sounds as though she cares a lot about what happens to her community, and is fighting for better provision.

what's not to like?

boolifooli · 06/02/2011 15:58

Mine are 4 and 7, both at school. Dh says he can support us so I volunteer. Dh actually said as we didn't need another income it would be more ethical to not take paid work. I'm still building my CV though with my activities. And actually she already has a job, she's a mum!

valiumredhead · 06/02/2011 15:59

What giddypickle said. YABU and it's none of your business tbh.

GabySolis · 06/02/2011 16:00

If she and her family can afford to stay at home without handouts then I think it's entirely up to her what she does.
Oh and what's wrong with lobbying MP's, petitions etc? Sounds like she does a lot of good in that way, highlighting issues can only be good, surely?

esmeroo · 06/02/2011 16:04

yabu

None of your business whatsoever.Sounds like her mind is already occupied! What job would you suggest she did?. She might find that mind numbing.

Why cant people stop interfering in other peoples choices.

cupcake001 · 06/02/2011 16:12

I love the way some posters say 'Its none of your business as long as shes not SPONGING OF THE STATE'

Ha! So what if said aunt was doing this and was claiming benefits? Would that piss you all off?
would that change the whole situation?, would you all sudenly be saying ' she should get back to work, shes taking the piss!'

Just asking as it would be none of any of your businesses if she was doing this and claiming benefits as well

woahwoah · 06/02/2011 16:13

YABU - she has every right to make the choices that suit her family.

She's not costing you anything, she seems to be doing a lot of good (with the lobbying etc), and actually, it's none of your business! Hmm

Original poster
stoppinchingthedummy · 06/02/2011 16:20

Hmm im not the bitchy one reading these threads ...i said about 5 posts in- ok iabu for wondering why she does all this ...for whoever said am i jelous ..no not in the slightest and i love my job so it isnt about being a sahm in any way shape or form it is simply about the amount she moans about things ...perhaps i could have given a bit of the back story but no this is the interweb after all and ill just continue to let her facebook posts bug me...thanks all for answers :)

OP posts:
HappyToBeYappy · 06/02/2011 16:22

You might not like her moaning but that has nothing to do with her life choices and more to do with her personality.

I'm in a situation like FellatioNelson.
I have several kids into their teens, and I've never worked, and due to all kinds of reasons, it would be more complicated and difficult if I did. I spend half my week volunteering or spending a small amount of time with my OH who only has time off work on a weekday.

It's your aunt's choice, and nothing to do with you.

And there are nearly two million people out of work at the moment anyway. Are all the SAHM's who are happy to be at home and doing stuff in their communities to be added to the number of people vying for the same few jobs, just so a few pounds in tax credits don't go to them?

HappyToBeYappy · 06/02/2011 16:23

But unlike FN, I'm not bored! There's a ton of stuff to do.

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