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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am, I know, and I know what the responses will be <quiver> but I am upset and angry so am throwing myself to the lions

103 replies

yerbladdymavva · 04/02/2011 09:21

just had a row with ds2's teacher

he's 6 and in Y2, in the top reading group and very capable, although he is not keen on reading and writing and is apt to be slapdash

he reads at home with me and writes for a purpose "insulting notes to his brother, nice notes to me etc Grin and I work in early years so I have a reasonable grasp of where he is

two of the children in his reading group have been having harder reading books because teacher thinks they are at a different level - I think the books ds2 gets are pitifully easy and dull, but I haven't questioned it much (did mention it at parents evening but didn't push it)

today though his spellings were "have", "out", "with", "some" etc - he could spell those when he was 4 fgs

the two top ones in his group had "eventually", "different", "heard" etc

I asked the teacher whether she was sure these were the right spellings as they look very like the ones he had in Reception

she said the whole class aprt from the top 2 had the same words, apart from the 4 lowest who had the same words but only 4 of them

she showed me the long test they did last week where my ds2 had spelled "were" as "wur"

If I were his teacher I would have kicked him up the proverbial arse and made him do it again - she knows damn well he can do that level of work standing on his head.

I WILL talk to him about being lazy, but honestly I am fuming that the teacher isn't making any effort to get anything out of him, I feel that she has "picked" the two top children in the group and sod the rest

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 04/02/2011 09:24

I am not sure what you are asking [thick], sometimes teachers do have favourites, hard to believe eh Hmm. My DH is a teacher and very fair I belive, he does have one class that he looks forward to teaching. The rest he just gets on and teaches.

HoorahHilda · 04/02/2011 09:24

Am very suprised your son had spellings to learn in Reception .

MrSpoc · 04/02/2011 09:25

So but your son sounds like he is being lazy in class. If you know he can do it then tell him to buck his ideas up.

There is not much more the teacher can do, unless you dont mind the teacher forcing him to do it.

Ragwort · 04/02/2011 09:26

Why don't you just give him harder/more challenging books yourself - from the library - that might spark his interest a bit more. Don't worry what the teacher thinks, prsumably he'll get a new teacher next school year?

Original poster
yerbladdymavva · 04/02/2011 09:27

they had word packs to learn in Reception, these words were in there
I taught him to read and write before he went to school, he is no genius but her can spell "out" fgs

yes he IS lazy, but I think it is as much part of her job as it is part of mine to try and engage him and get better than "wur" out of him

I know what I sound like. And dh agrees with MN and the teacher that I should just accept it.

OP posts:
BeeBox · 04/02/2011 09:28

Stand up rows with teachers are a complete waste of time. Teach him these words at home.

PfftTheMagicDragon · 04/02/2011 09:28

why hilda?

We had a bag of laminated words sent home - the key words for reception, these were the words that they were expected to be able to spell by the end of the year.

Not regimented spelling tests, but assessment in another way.

GandalfyCarawak · 04/02/2011 09:28

Actually I think YABU. He spelt where as wur, and in a classful of kids, she probably doesn't have the time to "kick up the arse" all the children who should be doing better, all in one afternoon. If you want something done, do it! And next time, if he does work hard and gets his spelling right, you'll have an excuse to complain that his words are too easy.

I honestly don't know what you're expecting the teacher to do about his laziness.

knitpicker · 04/02/2011 09:28

Calm down - it's never worth rowing with the teacher. If your child is reading at a higher standard at home then great, you can enjoy chosing books and chatting about them while your child sails through his classwork. Truly - it doesn't matter a fig and you are just being a competitive mum.

SenoritaViva · 04/02/2011 09:29

I am also not sure what you are asking. Although for my two cents worth I think your son's teacher had a reason why she had given him those words which shows she had put thought into it. Do you know how many parents would be furious if every child was re-tested if they had an 'off' day and misspelt words they knew. You need to relax and focus less on the other children.

FoundWanting · 04/02/2011 09:29

It didn't sound like favouritism to me. I took it that the teacher is working to some sort of quota system ie. the top 10 per cent are singled out; the ones struggling are another group and the mass in the middle are lumped together.

Original poster
yerbladdymavva · 04/02/2011 09:29

I do read with him at home, we have a houseful of books

when he skates over words or is lazy I tickle him and make him do it again, he giggles and reads the word properly

I know he can't have that level of 1-2-1 at school, I don't expect her to tutor him at the expense of the class. But I think this is a bridge too far - the jump between the words he has and the words the other two children have is a joke.

OP posts:
cobbledtogether · 04/02/2011 09:30

So if someone does badly in a spelling test, the correct way to deal with it is to kick them up the backside and make them do it again, not give them the words they got wrong to take home and practice to make sure they get it right in the future.

Because that is what you are suggesting.

If someone at year 6 spells were, "wur" it would look like they were setting him up to fail by expecting him to know how to spell eventually.

Why not just practice the words with him, make sure he gets them right in the next spelling test.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 04/02/2011 09:31

The last two responses have astounded me. Is this really what we are to expect from school these days? Of course the parents should be giving their children a kick up the backside (figuratively speaking) and trying to fuel an interest in their schoolwork but nothing else the teacher can do? Wait till next September when he gets a new teacher? Really? Why the hell bother sending them to school then?

Original poster
yerbladdymavva · 04/02/2011 09:31

Beebox he knows these words. He knew tham when he was four. As did several other children in his group, because I taught them, and some of them are family friends we have known since babyhood.

I understand that it's as much my problem and ds2's as hers, and I know he is lazy. I am cross about it. BUT I think she is lazy and complacent too.

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 04/02/2011 09:31

Bribery.

It is, IMHO, the easiest motivational tool for the bright but lazy.

(we did it - a star (or equiv) for every spelling test he got 10/10 in - some object of desire for 10 stars)

MrSpoc · 04/02/2011 09:32

There is only so much a teacher can do and with a class where everyone except two are at the same level, it would be difficult to force your son to take interest without singling him out.

If you are concerned give him harder books at home and assist him with his spelling. Then if the teacher says he can't spell a word and you know he can, then you will have to be firm with him and give him a telling off for being lazy.

GandalfyCarawak · 04/02/2011 09:32

Also, if you're making it into a game when he gets things wrong with the tickling thing, maybe he thinks it's funny and unimportant?

GandalfyCarawak · 04/02/2011 09:33

So Gwendoline, tell me practically what a teacher can do with a lazy child that won't do spelling tests correctly.

stealthsquiggle · 04/02/2011 09:33

Also - what does DS2 think? My DS would have been offended to be given the easy words, and I would have shamelessly used that to reinforce the kick up the backside... does DS2 care, OP?

BeeBox · 04/02/2011 09:33

ybe concentrate on teaching to spell 'were'?

Look, I can understand where you are coming from, but rowing with the teacher isn't going to solve the problem. Teachers do not - and will never - know your child as well as you do, so if you feel she is missing out on an aspect of your child's learning, the onus really is on you to deal with it. Of course you can raise it with her, but don't argue with her.

Original poster
yerbladdymavva · 04/02/2011 09:34

I do do that Mr Spoc. He wouldn't do this at home, he knows I would laugh and make him do it again. I don't want to spend all our family time making up for shit teaching though.

OP posts:
Onetoomanycornettos · 04/02/2011 09:34

I agree with you that he should have harder spellings than that (I'm guessing he had Key Words in reception and read them correctly, not that he had tests on a daily basis). My Y2 daughter is in the top group, and I'm pleased to see they get harder spellings, 'bicycle' 'available' 'tomorrow' and so on, she actually has to make an effort to learn the tricky ones.

However, I would ditch their silly reading programme and just get tonnes of great books, all the Roald Dahls, Flat Stanley, Horrid Henry if you can bear it, there's lots of Dragon books too, and let him read those every night instead of keeping him plodding on dull and not changed often enough reading books from school.

I would also look at his spellings for the week with him, practice them, and make sure he's getting 10/10 every week. If he gets that a few weeks in a row, go back in (politely) and point out that he's finding this very easy (although you have appreciated the need to consolidate, blah blah) and it would be great if he could have a bit of a challenge.

Perhaps she was a bit threatened by you knowing stuff and thought you were challenging her judgement (which you were). I would tread quite carefully with a fair bit of flattery in there, rather than barge in and tell her she's a bit rubbish (even though she may be!)

HoorahHilda · 04/02/2011 09:35

All I recall during Reception was the beginning of phonic learning , how to form the letters etc . We never had words sent home at that stage . It was still mostly play based . Thats all , and just our experience .

HoorahHilda · 04/02/2011 09:36

The above post to Puff

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