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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

ADHD son exclusion

36 replies

tracey37 · 03/02/2011 23:08

my son has just been diagnosed with ADHD he'll be 7 this month and has been excluded seems to see him as a 'naughty boy' and is singling him out all the time coz he wont 'follow the school rules!' has anyone else had simular problems? and any comments would be helpful thank you

OP posts:

mutznutz · 03/02/2011 23:13

what was he excluded for?

beatenbyayellowteacup · 03/02/2011 23:13

what is the treatment he will have?

Alwaysworthchecking · 03/02/2011 23:15

Tracey37, I know of a boy in a similar situation, but not really enough about it to comment intelligently. Try posting in 'Education' or 'Special Needs' though, because there you'll find people with similar experiences and far more knowledge than me.
Hope you find some good advice!

Original poster

tracey37 · 03/02/2011 23:24

treatment has not been decided yet as it was only this morning we was told it was ADHD so been given choice of drugs or behaviour treatment he been excluded 3 times now twice 4 hitting out at other children and pe teacher when he was trying to 'frog march him by the arm 2 head teacher which my son didnt like' and once coz he wouldnt settle in class and had loads of warnings!

OP posts:

KangarooCaught · 03/02/2011 23:29

Did school instigate the assessment procedure? Is there going to be a meeting with school and Ed Psych who conducted the assessment?

beatenbyayellowteacup · 03/02/2011 23:29

Hmmm. I've seen a few kids who were wild (ie running down corridors screaming out at teachers/aggressive behaviour) but when medicated were actually brilliant. I'm not a fan of medication generally but in some cases it's just amazing what a difference you can see. Don't rule it out, but if he really doesn't like it, reconsider.

It's a good thing that he was diagnosed so early.

The other thing is, don't define him by his ADHD (not saying you do), but it's easy to see someone as their difficulty rather than that being part of him.

There may also be foods that make his behaviour worse. Not sure how to find out about this though - sorry!

huddspur · 03/02/2011 23:31

If he's hitting other pupils then he's going to get excluded irrespective of anything

cat64 · 03/02/2011 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

KangarooCaught · 03/02/2011 23:36

Agreed, to protect the children, although might be internal rather than external exclusion. They have a duty of care to all. But what is the Ed Psych suggesting re the school & best methods of helping ds? And what level of action/support is he advising? Are they going for statementing, do you know?

beatenbyayellowteacup · 03/02/2011 23:37

ADHD can also manifest as aggressive and disrespectful behaviour though. It does not excuse hurting others so this needs to be carefully explained, but it's not that simple.

Original poster

tracey37 · 03/02/2011 23:38

ed psych already seen him 3 months ago school did start the ball rolling but ive had to push to get results and answers ever since he was assesed today by the paediatric clinic

OP posts:

wasuup3000 · 03/02/2011 23:41

Has he a TA or any in school support?

wasuup3000 · 03/02/2011 23:43

Either way give IPSEA and ACE or SOS SEN a call and get some advice on what to next.

mutznutz · 03/02/2011 23:48

An exclusion may not be a bad thing until his treatment can be sorted out. Obviously you know he can't go round hitting other children and teachers...and internal exclusions are fairly impossible at an Infant school (not to mention very costly)

Original poster

tracey37 · 03/02/2011 23:52

i totaling agree that my son should not hurt other children when he has hit out and we sit down and talk to him about it there is always something that triggers him off even if it is a minor thing to us it seems major to him 1 of the problems i have got at the moment is that he's been branded 'a naughty boy' by other children in the school and this upsets him even thou sometimes he does try his hardest to be good

OP posts:

mutznutz · 03/02/2011 23:56

Yes that is usually a big problem isn't it? The child can get branded as naughty, and the other children learn which buttons to push...in order to wind him up and watch him go as it were.

On the plus side (and I know it doesn't seem like it now) at least the diagnosis is the first step to sorting all this out. The school will also recieve extra funding due to it..and therefore should be able to make SEN arrangements although money is so tight at the moment.

Original poster

tracey37 · 03/02/2011 23:56

we had senco coming into the school to help him with his temper issues but that has all stopped now and im not sure wot other help we can get for him?

OP posts:

beatenbyayellowteacup · 03/02/2011 23:59

Sorry to be a downer but not sure that the school will receive extra funding for ADHD. If you can get him statemented then they will, but it does seem unlikely from what you've said so far.

Personally I'd look at medication.

mutznutz · 04/02/2011 00:00

Sorry I was jumping the gun and assuming the statement would follow.

Original poster

tracey37 · 04/02/2011 00:03

no it doesnt feel like a plus side at the mo as ive got mixed feeling about the outcome of today! but the main thing now for me is to find out as much as i can so i can help my little un move forward and for me to be able to cope with his 'hypo times' rather than me getting cross with him

OP posts:

A1980 · 04/02/2011 00:11

I really sympathise but imagine how you'd feel if it was your child who had been hit by a disruptive child, behavioural difficulties or not. You'd probably be furious.

ADHD or not, repeatedly hitting out at children will bet a child excluded.

I really hope he improves and gets the support and help he needs.

beatenbyayellowteacup · 04/02/2011 00:12

I can imagine, but knowledge is power so you can at least make decisions to move forward now.

Original poster

tracey37 · 04/02/2011 00:27

yes i would be furious like any other parent would be im not sayning that coz my son has ADHD gives him an excuse for hitting out and im trying very hard to teach him that this is not good behaviour but at the same time there are some children that will seek my son out to tease him and wind him up which i have seen myself

OP posts:

mutznutz · 04/02/2011 00:39

You do seem to have a very sensible attitude towards this OP...that will definitely help. Good luck and don't forget, although the school had to exclude him..they really do hate doing that at Infant level as they see it as a failing on their part (well most good schools do) so hopefully they'll be helpful now you have a diagnosis.

Triggles · 04/02/2011 01:53

tracey37 - pls come over to SN board as well, you'll get some people that are dealing with same types of issues to respond.

I'm curious what your school is doing to support your son. If he is showing aggression and behavioural difficulties, there should be things in place to assist him, so that things don't escalate to the point where he is hitting. Our son is being assessed for ADHD (as well as ASD, dyspraxia, and a few other things - he doesn't do things by half, eh? ) but as soon as the school realised there were problems (not hitting, but many other issues), they got him 1:1, visual aids, and all sorts of things to help him cope with everything in school.

Your school should be stepping in to do something for him, not just sitting back and excluding him. Can you confront the school (perhaps the senco or head?) and point out that obviously they felt there were issues or the EP wouldn't have been brought in, and tell them you want support put in place for your son?

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