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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

ADHD son exclusion

36 replies

tracey37 · 03/02/2011 23:08

my son has just been diagnosed with ADHD he'll be 7 this month and has been excluded seems to see him as a 'naughty boy' and is singling him out all the time coz he wont 'follow the school rules!' has anyone else had simular problems? and any comments would be helpful thank you

OP posts:

gapbear · 04/02/2011 04:43

It's a nice idea Triggles, but where does the money come from for 1:1 support?

A school doesn't just sit back and exclude children willy nilly - especially at that age. There has to be a very strong reason.

OP - good luck with the statement process, if you're going down that route. It is worth doing, but please please bear in mind that it is a very long and drawn out process with buckets of paperwork. Please don't expect a 1:1 TA straightaway now you have a diagnosis, because the money's not there.

madwomanintheattic · 04/02/2011 04:58

please amke an appointment to discuss the new dx with the school senco and headteacher. ask them how you and they can work together to support your ds as best as possible.

if children are disruptive enough, and other parents (of peers) complain enough about their child's education being disrupted by your boy, enough money will be found to help.

but relying on this is a long hard road tbh. 1-1 in these cases is usually only for those children who throw chairs/ tables/ scissors and endanger other pupils/ teachers. even then the school have to fight the lea for cash. the school may have some unallocated funding they could use, but i doubt it. budgets are usually pretty tight.

you are better off discussing this with the gp, reading up on adhd, and considering whether you are willing to try meds. children can learn coping strategies, there is a lot of info out there.

ds1 is currently trialling meds. he's more inattentive rather than anything else though.

what support were you offered with the dx?

Triggles · 04/02/2011 12:00

gapbear I understand the money has to come from somewhere. What I'm saying is that she hasn't really mentioned that the school is providing any support - and they should be. You can talk until you are blue about "where does the money come from" but the school has an obligation to support her son. Perhaps if they had appropriate support in place, these incidents would have either not occurred or been greatly diminished.

And actually, a lot of it obviously depends on the school. We are grateful that DS2's school is proactive and puts the children first. DS2 was allotted a 1:1 for 25+5 hours (basically from the time he gets there until he is handed back to us) within a month of the school identifying that he was having difficulties coping. They provided a 1:1 immediately for 20 hours per week, then added the rest a few weeks later. He doesn't throw chairs, hit, and is not violent in any way. They applied to an outside agency that provided 10 hours of funding per week, and the school is paying for the rest out of their own budget, because "he needs the support and we need to provide it" as the headteacher says. And we are still in the process of getting a firm diagnosis (although they have tentative ones at this point, he is still undergoing assessment).

But let's be clear. The 1:1 is great, but that's not ALL that can be offered for support. There are strategies that can be utilised in the classroom to aid in him coping, there are visual aids that can be used to assist him. There are loads of things that can be done in the name of support. Which is why when the OP didn't mention support of any kind (only exclusion when things went badly), I asked what type of support was being offered to him. Because if he has been excluded even once, there should be support measures put into place immediately after that first exclusion. And they certainly don't need a diagnosis to offer support.

Original poster

tracey37 · 04/02/2011 17:31

my son is not having any 1:1 at the moment the only support he's had so far is a lady came in twice a week and spent 3 quarters of an hour with him trying to teach him diffrent ways to deal with his 'angries' as she called them this stop about 6 months ago

OP posts:

Original poster

tracey37 · 04/02/2011 17:35

to be honest with im not sure wot to do and which way to go at the moment have spoken to head teacher and she wants me to put him straight onto drugs rather than try the behaviour path

OP posts:

manicbmc · 04/02/2011 17:38

He may need both alongside each other. The drugs can work really well but your dc needs to learn some strategies for his behaviour as well by the sounds of it. Good luck with it all.

Triggles · 04/02/2011 17:53

Yes, it sounds like he needs some sort of plans put into place to help him. If you go to the SNs section on MN, there are lots of posters there that can give you an idea of what's available and who to contact. I certainly think it's worth a try to sit down with them and discuss what support he needs and that they can provide. It might be worth your time to contact Parent Partnership (?). I've heard they can be helpful and will help you speak to the school if you would like.

It's not the head teacher's decision whether or not you medicate your son. If he was seen by paed and/or ed psych, it could help to speak to them as well for their thoughts on what might help him.

Rhadegunde · 04/02/2011 17:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

tracey37 · 05/02/2011 16:06

thank you all for your helpfull comments and i will also try and post on SN :)

OP posts:

unpa1dcar3r · 05/02/2011 16:19

Tracey
you may find some more informed advice on the special needs site.
It's 2nd from bottom of this list.

mona22 · 27/07/2011 19:27

tracey i can totally empathise with you, my son is now 8 and been diagnosed a year ago with adhd.... he was branded from early age from parents,teachers and other kids, he rates high for oppositional behaviour.... i spent many an hour/ month in tears as people accused me of being a bad parent.... im not a bad parent and he isnt a nasty child but he sees things differently to others .his school provided a TA as much as they could and we worked out a handling policy, my son had to have a member of staff shadow him, not only for other childrens benefit but also to stop others as u say'pressing his buttons'

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