Refused a table at restaurant for having kids

[marissac]

I'm thinking of going to my local news paper to name and shame this restaurant, but would like your wise opinion on it before I do.

Today was the eve of Chinese New Year, my friends decided we should have lunch at a certain Chinese restaurant in Canary Wharf to celebrate. They et extremely busy at lunchtimes so I phoned ahead to make a reservation. Greeted by the maitre d with usual formalities, asked me what time I would like the table for etc. Then when I said it was for a party of 4 adults and 3 kids he paused. Then proceeded to tell mr they were fully booked for lunch today and that they will jot be able to fit us in AT ALL (which was strange since he was asking for my name time and phone number just a minute ago). Then I heard a female voice in the background say that there is a table free until 2, to which I immediately replied I'll take it, we will be done and your table vacated no later than 1:30.

Lo and behold this male waiter then said "don't take this the wrong way, but many customers have complained about noisy children during lunch like it's a party. We get a lot of business people here at lunchtimes. We don't mind children on the weekends, just not during the week." (please note these aren't his EXACT words in the exact order)

I could NOT believe what I heard. And to paint a clearer picture, this is our local Chinese restaurant which we have frequented roughly once a week for the past 3 yrs. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. I will sure be taking my business elsewhere, but would like everyone to be aware of the appalling attitude and service. My kids are never rowdy or unruly, yet they are being talked about like they animals that should be left on a leash tied to a lamppost.

Sorry for the rant. I'm still fuming. Do you think it's worth going to local press? Thanks for listening and for any input.

Yes, they definitely should do that. It would save bad feeling all round.

I think it is perfectly reasonable for a restaurant to say that they welcome families at weekends but need to respect the quiet business type lunches in the week. If you want to involve your children in Chinese New Year why not get a take away at home?

Thats what the childfree pub down the road do, at least its open and people are aware of it.

There are plenty of obnoxious, loud, badly-behaved adults having business lunches in Canary Wharf. I'm willing to be the OP's children would be much better neighbours at table than many of the grown ups round there. (Including people in my own kind of job.)

On a related note, I've been to at least a couple of really high-end restaurants with my children and they were really warmly welcomed. Le Manoir had a fab kid's menu, and the waiters didn't blink as they sidestepped around our crawling DD (then 1yo). V similar time at Galvin at Windows.

I also pay homage to the gods of child-friendliness that are the restaurants of Centre Parcs Sherwood Forest. Dutch Pancake house with lego room, you provided us with the most leisurely and relaxed meal we've had in years. Even if the pancake did taste like rubber.

You shouldn't be cross with the restaurant, you should be cross with the parents who let their kids run riot in restaurants - not taking them out when they are crying, letting them run around all the waiters carrying hot food, throwing slippery food on the floor and not picking it up.

Put it this way: if all children/parents behaved properly, why would the other patrons complain about them being there in the first place?

YABVU.

Gah, if I'm having a childfree lunch the last thing I want is sat next to kids.

YABU

"On a related note, I've been to at least a couple of really high-end restaurants with my children and they were really warmly welcomed. Le Manoir had a fab kid's menu, and the waiters didn't blink as they sidestepped around our crawling DD (then 1yo). V similar time at Galvin at Windows."
But your baby shouldn't be crawling around the floor in a restaurant. It's dangerous. I think they were being very polite, but speaking from personal experience serving tables, I'd love to know what they had to say out the back.
I think there should be plenty of child-friendly places to eat. However I don't think all places to eat should be child-friendly. It's OK for adults to want to just be with adults occasionally, and it's OK for other people to not want to share in any part of your parenting joy.

YANBU. I also live in canary wharf and whilst their is a strong family vibe here at weekends, there are still plenty of mums, families kids around during the week too who are still customers. Write into the local paper but expect to get flamed by people who like their lunches child free. I can only think if 2 Chinese restaurants in the area so please tell me so they can lose another customer. But then again I am off with the 2 kids 2mrow so I could let them loose

slhilly You let your dd crawl about a restaurant? She is very lucky she didn't get accidentally hurt. It is very difficult (even with the best of intentions) to see your feet when carrying a tray.

I don't even let dd walk about restaurants now, she can walk to the toilets holding my hand but that's it. I wouldn't want her to be scalded or burnt or be responsible for it happening to someone else.

I have to say, I agree with the restaurant. If they are primarily in the business district then they need to concentrate on those customers during the week and those customers are more likely to enjoy a child free zone. They are clearly not against children in general as they are welcome at weekends - it's just good business sense! He wasn't implying your children were rowdy or misbehaved!! I wouldn't advise going to the press but if you really are that upset over it then speak to the manager and explain, just don't expect too much in return.

An angle I'm most about is that many people seem to think that a working business lunch should be catered for in preference over a normal family lunch.
Although I think it should be up to the restaurant to make policy, and understand why this restaurant's policy is thus, the idea that everyone needs to be quiet in case some business people want to have a meeting whilst they dine, is frankly ludicrous. If they want quiet for a meeting, they should be in a meeting room, not expect the restaurant to be quiet for them.

I also agree that it is becoming more and more difficult to teach children how to behave properly in restaurants if they are only allowed to experience "child friendly" places with play areas etc. These have their places, but should not be the only option.

I think the tale of the baby crawling around a restaurant floor while the waiting staff politely dodge about demonstrates clearly why some places may choose not to allow children. I suppose if a pot of scalding hot coffee was tipped over the baby by accident, the mum would be on here typing "AIBU to sue?".
I think if a minority of restaurants choose not to have children then it's absolutely fine. It allows people like me who like to get away from other people's children(even the well behaved ones chatting loudly while colouring in pictures)once in a while for a romantic meal or business lunch to do so.

I guess my biggest gripe is with the ambiguity - I woulnt have a problem if lines are clearly drawn. We have been before for lunch on weekdays as a family many times and have always had a pleasant time. Then this sudden change in attitude.

To those that advised against, you are right no good will come of running off in a strop and shaming them. My attitude has changed somewhat since having kids - whereas before I too would have been in the "kids no thanks" camp, but for some reason i took today's incident as a personal insult. Restaurants REALLY need to be clear. it will save a lot of embarrassment, agro and distance travelled.

makem

I wouldn't go there anyway - it'll be very unrelaxing and no fun at all.
And I wouldn't want to be surrounded by the kind of people who hate children in restaurants, even if I had no children with me. It kind of gives the place a bad atmosphere. Grim. Boring.

Myleetlepony, put your aspersions on my character away, they don't flatter you. "I suppose the mum would be on here blah blah blah"

Funnily enough, waiters can bump into doddery old dears, fat young men, chairs, canoodling couples, dogs and their own feet, and spill scalding coffee on any of them or indeed a tiny baby innocently sleeping in its mothers' arms at a different table with disastrous results.

If the restaurants had a problem with it, then being the classy joints that they were, their maitre d's would doubtless have popped over, explained the issue and been imaginative about providing stuff that would keep the babies entertained at their seats. Fortunately, being such classy joints, they didn't mind in the slightest (Raymond Blanc is famously welcoming of children, so you'd best avoid his restaurant like the plague) and their highly trained waiters carrying their teetering piles of steak knives, scalding coffee and heavy silverware successfully avoided all one of the small baby crawling near our table by, er, looking where they were going and slowing down.

I can see why it is annoying. If you have used their service many times and were unaware of the policy, it feels like a kick in the teeth, and an assumption that your dc can't behave. Fwiw I have never seen many running around children in resaurants so think the problem is smaller than people like to make out. From the business angle, they do have to protect their business, but should understand that in doing so, they are losing yours and that of others like you, so it is their choice. If I were you, I would write a pleasant letter, saying that you enjoyed their restaurant in the past, but will unfortunately be unable to visit anymore,

I guess my biggest gripe is with the ambiguity - I woulnt have a problem if lines are clearly drawn. We have been before for lunch on weekdays as a family many times and have always had a pleasant time. Then this sudden change in attitude.

To those that advised against, you are right no good will come of running off in a strop and shaming them. My attitude has changed somewhat since having kids - whereas before I too would have been in the "kids no thanks" camp, but for some reason i took today's incident as a personal insult. Restaurants REALLY need to be clear. it will save a lot of embarrassment, agro and distance travelled.

Loopyloops my point exactly but you said it a million times better :) just like there is a time and place for kids, there is also a time and place for business meetings.

makeminemango i've pmed you :)

Whilst I believe children should remain at the table during a restaurant meal (after all it's a place if work with health and safety issues abound), there are just as many unsociable adults. The drunk yelling / sweary ones, the ones on mobile phones, and IME last summer the arrogant Jimmy Saville-alike one blowing cigar smoke in the direction of my family whilst we were eating and the kids had been good as gold. Publc places are full irritants, but that's the thing, they are public. If you don't make it very clear upfront you don't cater for kids, to pick and choose at the expense if a regular customer is a bit crap.

Still as I said earlier, there are ways, and ways to handle it.

Don't blame 'em to be honest - business folk on expenses are going to spend more than you.

they're a business - they need to make sensible business decisions.

If I'm having a work meeting I don't want kids around either.

xstitch, the restaurants were happy and so were we. They are posh places with big spaces between tables, it was perfectly reasonably safe. There was some risk, but it was in our judgement not worth worrying about.

We got up to retrieve the baby when they crawled too far away. The restaurants very sensibly seated us at tables that put a little bit of distance between us and other diners, although we were far from the loudest table on either occasion.

Loopy -

The City (area of London) has been renowned since the 15th century for business meetings/ deals being made in coffee houses - now wine bars and restaurants.

In the 20 years I worked there, don't think I ever saw a dc in a restaurant at lunchtime.

It's not a case of "business people wanting to have meetings and expecting other people to be quiet".

The vast majority of these restaurants' business is from City companies - it's very much a business area.

It's very easy to go to another part of London if you want a child friendly restaurant. But to expect to be accommodated in the City at lunchtime with kids is unrealistic in the extreme.

Hi OP is this Imperial China? I used to go there with my children too- when they were tinies. Last time we were treated badly despite spending ££ early Saturday evening. They are now 10 and 12. Will never go back. Miss the food though- was fantastic.

Take your money elsewhere!

@ 'Talking about bitting the hand that feeds you'.
Perhaps they don't want to bite another hand that ...actually feeds them more Thats bussiness.

They don't have to bow at you. They make bussiness decisions and they target the customers that will give bigger profit.

It wouldn't surprise me in that area midweek and it wouldn't make me angry. I don't see the point of going to the papers.

2 months ago my friend and i stopped somewhere for lunch. The waiter came to the door and told us : 'sorry, no jeans' and . Fair enough. It is Mayfair. I accept it. We didn't go to the papers.

I always book a table for a number of people (wouldn't think of saying x adults; y children). We turned up at an Indian restaurant one Sat evening and the owner/manager showedvery clearly that he was not impressed to see 3 young children but sat us at our table. By the end of the evening he couldn't have been more pleasant, and helpful once he'd seen that the DCs were not going to run around; cause havoc; shriek loudly or whine.

So my advice would be to give the number of people in your party and just turn up, so long as you are happy that your DCs will be quiet, well-behaved and remain at the table (which it sounds like they do anyway!) Once you were there they would probably have recognised you and not had a problem anyway.