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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be livid with PIL?

123 replies

worriedmoo · 01/02/2011 21:50

My PIL very kindly agrred to travel 4 hours from their home to care for my children or so I thought....

I have a serious dose of hand,foot and mouth (yes it normally is short - lived and mild but I have had in for nearly two weeks and blsiters are still appearing) I am a lot of pain. Sad

My DH is working away tuesday til friday. DH rang inlaws and asked them if they could come and mind DCs (x3) and I would stay in a hotel so that I can have a complete break and re-coup.

Just tp put things into perspective, PIL idea of help when I am ill is leaving me with baby and sorting out my 9 and 6 year old while they clean random things, iron underwear etc Hmm Don't get me wrong I do think mostly they are trying to help.

Anyway MIL and FIL arrive and I was planning to head straight off. MIL starts by saying that I could sleep in 1 of DD's beds and she can sleep on a matress on the floor, all very well but I won't get any peace.Hmm Then she says h will DD2 be ok if you go, giving me the knowing look, then asks if baby will be ok then when none of that is working tells me that DD3 has blsiters on her bottom (implying she is getting what I have) swiftly followed by I'll look later, so I pull DDs nappy down and low and behold no blister, no spots!!! [angry}

AIBU to be annoyed that PIL agreed to mind my DC while recouperate in a hotel and then went back on it?? Hmm

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 01/02/2011 23:00

My expletings slipped out though Grin

FabbyChic · 01/02/2011 23:00

My concern is that they don't have her mobile number. What mother leaves her children with anybody even family and does not give them her number?

GloriaSmut · 01/02/2011 23:04

I'm not sure what you've got to complain about, to be honest. The PILS were commanded to appear asked to come and stay at your house. They came. You got to the hotel. With your blisters and laptop but minus your children.

Dansmommy · 01/02/2011 23:04

You are truly, completely, absolutely pathetic.

There are posters on here who look after their kids despite having disabilities, cancer, all sorts of actual serious illnesses.

FFS. Go to sleep, get up early in the morning, go home and take car of your own fucking kids. And make your wonderful inlaws a nice cup of tea.

bubblewrapped · 01/02/2011 23:04

Fecking hell.. I missed that bit FC.

Just scrolled back to check.

What sort of mother fucks off without leaving her own contact number. Unbelievable.

pikachu999 · 01/02/2011 23:05

If family can't help who can?

I hope you will be returning the favour when your PIL are older and infirm and need help.

YABU to be LIVID especially since you got what you wanted in your nice hotel room.

And also you don't have your kids 24/7 since two are in school.

I am not sure I could relax in a hotel room as I would be worried about my DCs and my PIL. I would rather be at home in my own bed. Have you not even called to check how things are and to thank them for taking care of your DCs?

noshamehere · 01/02/2011 23:08

The OP has given the children up for adoption.Hmm

taintedpaint · 01/02/2011 23:12

I missed the bit about the lack of mobile number.

OP sounds more selfish and ridiculous with every detail that comes out. Those poor DCs and PILs.

Shockingly pathetic OP, you have earned every bit of criticism you've got.

You should go home in the morning, OP, and apologise to your wonderful PILs, admit how daft you've been and give your DCs a cuddle.

Still can't believe you've left them.

AgentZigzag · 01/02/2011 23:13

Is that a statement of fact noshame?

Or an example of exaggerated reading between the lines?

maryz · 01/02/2011 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSecondComing · 01/02/2011 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skybluepearl · 02/02/2011 00:02

I've been really recently - 3 weeks of hell and couldn't get out of bed for one of those weeks never mind siting with my children. Kids were well behaved but bored and i couldn't have got through without help from my friends/family who took the kids out for days on end. I think it so important to support each other through difficult times - otherwise whats the point? I can't see any reason why youngish healthy fit grand parents can't help out? surely that what people do when they love each other?

fannybaws · 02/02/2011 10:37

Hi op hope you had a good nights sleep and are feeling better this morning. I am honestly quite shocked by the vitriol you were treated to on her last night. Green cheese I think. Mother obviously means martyr for some people.

TheSecondComing · 02/02/2011 10:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maryz · 02/02/2011 10:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 02/02/2011 10:48

Im going into hosp for a big operation in a few weeks and recovery will probably take about 8/9 weeks. Im going to be relying on everyman and his dog to look after my kids for me. Whilst im still in the same house. Unfortunately dont have the luxury of booking a hotel.
The only thing im going to be is grateful. As for being livid? tbh, I probably wont have the energy to be even mildly annoyed at people.

doubleease · 02/02/2011 10:56

Why would the DCs be coming into your room at every opportunity? If they are told not to disturb you, will they not do as they are told?

Surely the older two are old enough to understand you need rest (they are school for most of the day anyway) and to leave you in peace while PIL entertain them.

I've done the same, with the help of some ear plugs so I can't hear a damn thing, and my dc knew at the age of 6 not to come and bounce all over me in bed. Maybe it was the way she's been brought up to be considerate of others

AgentZigzag · 02/02/2011 11:02

I don't think being a mother means you have to maryr yourself, and no green cheese here either fanny, any vitriol leveled at the OP was purely because of her shitty attitude towards two people who'd kindly offered to help her out.

Slagging them off on the internet because she wouldn't be able to relax properly if she did what they asked and helped out as much as she could with her own three children.

She could have started a thread in chat about how lucky she was to have help, but chose to start one in AIBU about how they wanted to do less than she was asking.

Perhaps you think her 'woe is me' attitude is justified?

clevercloggs · 02/02/2011 11:04

blimey

slopes off to a hotel at the drop of a hat Hmm but manages to get back from Deaths Door to log on ok

hopes you would run round to PIL if ever they are poorly

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 02/02/2011 11:05

I'll agree with the above, some people have it ingrained in them that they have a right to assistance in bringing their kids up...

There's nowt seriously wrong with someone who can play on the tinternet, and if I was feeling so ill I wouldn't want to drag myself to a hotel either... Someone fancied a jolly

And how come the grandparents are useless if she's around but satisfactory if she's not... Bloody lazy git

AgentZigzag · 02/02/2011 11:13

'Someone fancied a jolly'

Probably a lot of truth in that, and nobody would blame her if she did just want to get away from it all, who wouldn't?

But don't pretend it's anything other than that, and spout shit at the people who've gone out of their way to help.

mumto2andnomore · 02/02/2011 11:18

I have never heard of someone checking into a hotel as they are ill !

Bogeyface · 02/02/2011 11:30

OP, they are YOUR kids. YOU look after them and do what the rest of us mere mortals do when we are ill and MANAGE.

For the record, today I cant walk AT ALL, I am envious of your "barely" being able to walk. You could obviously walk far enough to your car and then into the fucking hotel. I am sure you will make it into the restaurant for your meals...sorry, ice cream, too. I am seriously considering using a potty as I cant get upstairs for the loo. The school "run" was a sight to behold!

I dont begrudge you the help you have, envious yes, but not begrudging. But your demanding spoilt and brattish attitude absolutely beggars belief. And to not even have given them your number is outrageous! God forbid that they should disturb your precious "recouperation" with questions about caring for YOUR children, you know...the kids you cant be arsed with?! I assume it hasnt crossed your mind that if your DH loses his signal, or his phone then they cant contact you? Do they even know which hotel you are in? Have you bothered to call them to see how they are getting on? Or are you still in bed, growing your arse?

Mad, me?! Yes, just a fucking bit.

thunderbird69 · 02/02/2011 11:34

Aside from your AIBU question...

If you are really having trouble looking after your children then have you asked your gp if there is any help available?
I had very bad back problems years ago, I was housebound, in a lot of pain and had trouble carrying my, then, 6 month old around (also had a 2 year old to look after). I had someone (carer?) call in everyday to check on me and help with anything, I think it was a council service. It wasn't a long term thing, but helped me when I was at my worst.

bubblewrapped · 02/02/2011 11:36

I dont think she is all that housebound... not is she managed to pick up her case and flounce out to her hotel... Hmm