Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be livid with PIL?

123 replies

worriedmoo · 01/02/2011 21:50

My PIL very kindly agrred to travel 4 hours from their home to care for my children or so I thought....

I have a serious dose of hand,foot and mouth (yes it normally is short - lived and mild but I have had in for nearly two weeks and blsiters are still appearing) I am a lot of pain. Sad

My DH is working away tuesday til friday. DH rang inlaws and asked them if they could come and mind DCs (x3) and I would stay in a hotel so that I can have a complete break and re-coup.

Just tp put things into perspective, PIL idea of help when I am ill is leaving me with baby and sorting out my 9 and 6 year old while they clean random things, iron underwear etc Hmm Don't get me wrong I do think mostly they are trying to help.

Anyway MIL and FIL arrive and I was planning to head straight off. MIL starts by saying that I could sleep in 1 of DD's beds and she can sleep on a matress on the floor, all very well but I won't get any peace.Hmm Then she says h will DD2 be ok if you go, giving me the knowing look, then asks if baby will be ok then when none of that is working tells me that DD3 has blsiters on her bottom (implying she is getting what I have) swiftly followed by I'll look later, so I pull DDs nappy down and low and behold no blister, no spots!!! [angry}

AIBU to be annoyed that PIL agreed to mind my DC while recouperate in a hotel and then went back on it?? Hmm

OP posts:
Appletrees · 01/02/2011 22:42

you should just get off the compuer and go to bed if you're that sick

don't you want to get better?

AgentZigzag · 01/02/2011 22:42

I'm in my 30's, and I would find it difficult to look after three children who weren't mine.

Fuck, I've got two, I'm their mum, and that's hard enough work!

Asking you if you could sleep on the matress, asking if your DD2 would be OK without you, or that your baby might have it, are all hints that they wanted you to stay with them.

Zipzap gives some good advice on how you could compromise.

FabbyChic · 01/02/2011 22:42

Why dont you get yourself off to bed so you can rest up, is there anything else the doctor can give you to make you feel more comfortable.

missellie74 · 01/02/2011 22:42

Excuse my ignorance but is that not highly contagious? If so, is a hotel really the best place?

I think you are extremely lucky to have people around you to help out and they are helping.

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 01/02/2011 22:43

WorriedMoo - YANBU they agreed to have the kids while you went to try to get better. You have done the right thing leaving them to it. If they can't cope they'll have to ring DH and he can come home. It's no different than if you'd be taken into hospital and this may prevent you having to be taken into hospital. Help is ONLY help if someone is doing what you need done - if they're not, it's not help.

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 01/02/2011 22:43

I think you have a severe lazyitis with possible signs of a chip on your shoulder developing

Ice cream ffs, I should be so lucky

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 01/02/2011 22:44

Try to relax now, get some sleep, put your phone on silent!

Original poster
worriedmoo · 01/02/2011 22:44

Apple you are spoiling for a fight. Angry

Yes I agree DC are hard work but they are only here for a few days and then they can rest as much as they want where as I'll be there 24/7 as always.

Goodnight ladies, thankd for most of the feedback.

OP posts:
Original poster
worriedmoo · 01/02/2011 22:45

chippingin Thank you so much, finally someone understands.Smile

OP posts:
UrsulaBuffay · 01/02/2011 22:46

YABU

Appletrees · 01/02/2011 22:46

seriousl -- are you unreasonable to be livid?

yes you are, and how

freshmint · 01/02/2011 22:47

you said the 6 year old was a handful and the baby needs watching the whole time. I don't know what the other one is like but it sounds like a lot of work for two retired grandparents and you don't seem to appreciate that at all. They are full on enough for you to want to run away to a hotel but they should be able to cope with them no problem?

I think you sound demanding and ungrateful. Poor PILs.

Appletrees · 01/02/2011 22:48

I'm really not, but you asked.

Actually I think you're bang out of order, the only positive thing is if ranting on here protects your pil from your unreasonableness.

bubblewrapped · 01/02/2011 22:49

Yes I agree DC are hard work but they are only here for a few days and then they can rest as much as they want where as I'll be there 24/7 as always.

but they are YOUR bloody kids you thankless woman..

sheesh.. Hmm

fannybaws · 01/02/2011 22:50

Worriedmo, YANBU I don't see anything wrong with what you have done,I hope you are fast asleep in a comfy bed. Your PIL sound young and fit enough to easily cope and they will probably find it easier to get into the swing of it without you there anyway. Hope you feel better soon.

Appletrees · 01/02/2011 22:51

imagine being livid about this

I jst can't conceive of it

AgentZigzag · 01/02/2011 22:51

You're doing well appletrees if you're not spoling for a fight Grin

I am a little tiny bit tonight, but I'm trying to supress it.

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 01/02/2011 22:52

Another poster who thinks their "owed" some assistance in bringing up their kids

I'm ill right now, no family to support me, but if oxidation, I wouldn't expect anything, suck it up, get on with it, no one owes you a hand especially with an attitude like this

taintedpaint · 01/02/2011 22:53

I'm wondering whether the most appropriate response is to point out how bloody wonderful your PIL are, or how mean you sound?

They are doing you a huge favour, despite the fact that they have seemingly tried to tell you they will struggle. They sound like lovely people, they really do.

Tbh, I can't quite believe you've left for the hotel. And even worse, those brilliant PIL of yours have made you 'livid' with them. For what, exactly?!

Hope you feel better soon, but you're not making yourself sound very likable. I think perhaps it's how you've written it? I don't know. YADBU though.

Appletrees · 01/02/2011 22:54

i'm expleting without swearing ain't i

but you know, haven't we all been there?

some women you see around are almost unconscious with exhaustion but still stolidly getting on with it

time for bed

coppertop · 01/02/2011 22:54

So your PIL have traveled for 4hrs to look after your children while you post on the internet from a hotel room, and you want to know whether it's reasonable to be livid with them???

Appletrees · 01/02/2011 22:55

zigzag your self control is impressive Grin

noshamehere · 01/02/2011 22:56

YANBU. Well done for realising you need a break. Enjoy it.

Appletrees · 01/02/2011 22:56

she's snapped down the lid in a fit of pique

"but I AM right, I AM"

cat64 · 01/02/2011 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn